


There Is No Darkness Without Light.

by Xbertyx



Series: Dark series [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Blood and Injury, Childhood, Demons, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gore, Grief/Mourning, Heartache, Loss, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-02-28 00:51:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 43
Words: 69,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13260150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xbertyx/pseuds/Xbertyx
Summary: Sequel to 'I don't like the dark'.A happy ending gets flipped on its head when demons get involved. For those at the association, life never stays peaceful for long.





	1. Ronald. Lazy days.

**Author's Note:**

> Set about a month after the last chapter of Dark. Enjoy!

***Friday 25th August 2034***

***8.58pm***

 Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

 It’s a peaceful Sunday night, my little Carmen resting on my chest as I slob out on the sofa. Managed to find a penguin onesie, so now we match.

 Beauty and the Beast is on the TV. What a great night.

 Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

 Will walks into the room, a plate of food in his hand.

 I get a massive glare. “Must you constantly eat junk food around her?”

 “Uh ….”

 “You are going to teach her bad habits.”

 “Na -.”

 “I do not want our child to become obese.”

 “She’s asleep,” crunch, “and besides, she’s too young at tha minute ta know.”

 “So, you are saying you will eat healthy once she is a little older?”

 “Na, na, I never said tha’.” The crisp packet is snatched away. “Hey! Gimme them back!”

 “You should get used to it. Soon, there will be no junk food in this house.”

 “Pfft.” I don’t think so somehow. I’d die of yummy withdrawals! Fuck that ….

 Still, it’s kinda cute how much he cares.

 It’s like he’s got her future all planned out.

\--------------------

***10.14pm***

 “Night, night, Carmen.” I tuck her in, knowing she’ll wake back up in an hour, tops. She wriggles around in her covers.

 I feel Will’s arm wrap around my shoulders. “Isn’t that adorable?”

 “Yeah.” Just what I was thinking. So cute!

\----------------------

***Saturday 26th August***

***12.03pm***

 “Is tha water warm enough for y’?” Carmen needs a bath before she gets all stinky. I smile widely at her. “Y’ love bath time, don’t y’?”

 Uh … where …? “Grell, ‘ave y’ seen tha shampoo?” She had today off, came over to help me with Carmen because she was bored. She’s always a great help – dunno what I’d do without her baby knowhow.

 Her legs swing out from the chair she’s sitting on. “On the windowsill.”

 “Ah … thanks.” I grab it, spin around –

 AWW!

 That’s the cutest face ever!

 Yanking my phone out of my bottoms, I snap a couple of shots.

 I have two phones, one to text in the reaper realm, and one that works when I’m in the human world. I have group chats on both of them, post cute baby pictures up so everyone I know can see Carmen’s best moments.

 This picture is defo going on both.

 Uh ….

 Urggh … got my phone all wet ….

\----------------------

***Saturday 2nd September***

***9.03pm***

 Pulling on my jacket, I walk over to the sofa. “I’ll see y’ two later.” I bend down, give Will a kiss on the cheek.

 “Have a nice time.”

 “I will,” I smile. I’m pretty excited actually. It’s been a while since I went on a night out.

 Carmen is fast asleep against Will’s chest, as always. So cute. I don’t wanna wake her, so I give her back a super gentle pat. “Goodnight, Carmen.”

 Man … I’m gonna miss just chilling with my family tonight.  

\---------------------

***10.23pm***

 The first club we went to was kinda … dead, so we’re wandering around London right now, looking for somewhere a bit more fun.

 “How about here?” Eric asks, pointing to a large flashing sign.

 “Yeah … seems good.” We head in – it’s a lot busier, that’s for sure.

 After getting drinks, we sit down at a spare table. The usual format. Chill for a bit, chat with each other, then see if there’s anyone interesting about to talk to before dancing like twats into the early hours of the morning.

 I take a sip – shit! It’s spat out all over the table.

 “Yer alright?” Eric frowns.

 I wipe at my mouth with the back of my hand. “Idiot put booze in it.”

 “Yer sure yer didn’t order a cocktail by mistake?”

 “No way.” I give him a dirty look for even thinking that. “Y’ know how careful I am.” I DEFO ordered a MOCKtail.

 “Aye … good point. Want me tae go complain?”

 “Na … na, it’s alright.” No point letting one little mistake ruin my whole night.

 I’ll just get a coke instead ….

\--------------------

***Sunday 3rd September***

***2.01am***

 The night was pretty fun, actually. My pissy mood didn’t last long. I spotted a reaper from the branch there that I didn’t really know too well, so I decided to talk to him. He was super friendly, and we ended up exchanging numbers. Now I’ve got a new buddy to text when Carmen’s asleep and Will’s at work.

 Yeahh, good night, super good night.

 Opening the bedroom door, I tiptoe in. I guessed that Will would be asleep, and I was right.

 I climb into bed carefully, lift Carmen from Will’s chest. Nothing better than coming home to a quick cuddle.

 “Hey, cutie,” I whisper, holding her close.

 Ah … crap ….

 “Hey, don’t cry. I didn’t mean ta wake y’ up.”

 “C … Carmen …. Carmen ….” I look over at Will just in time to see him flinch awake. “Carmen? Carm – oh … you have her.”

 “Hah, yeah.”

 “Ronald ….”

 “Yeah – shhhh, it’s okay. Go back ta sleep.”

 His glasses get snatched from the dressing table, are put on. “Why … can I smell alcohol on you?”

 “Oh … tha bartender gave me a real cocktail by mistake.”

 “And you drank it?”

 “No, course not. I spat it out as soon as I realised. Surprised y’ can even smell it.”

 “The foul stench tends to stick to people.”

 “Yeah … I guess.”

 He rolls over, rubs at Carmen’s back. “Just be more careful next time.”

 What? Seriously? “I … I always double check -.”

 “Yes, yes, I know that.” His voice goes down to a whisper. “I meant … you never know what someone may slip into your drink.”

 Oh …. “Ta spike it?”

 “Yes.”

 “Would tha’ even work on a reaper?”

 He frowns. “No … probably not, but it would be wise not to risk it.”

 Shit …. “Y’ … y’ think tha bartender was tryin’ ta drug me?”

 “I have no idea … but you know what humans are capable of. Either way, that bartender should be dismissed.”

 “Yeah ….” Wow, really comforting. Thanks ….

 Oh … when did Carmen stop crying? Aww, she’s asleep again.

 “Hey … Will?”

 “Yes?”

 “Y’ do believe me, right? ‘Bout it bein’ an accident?” I’m sure he does, but –

 “Of course I do.” He laughs lightly. “You are a terrible liar.”

\--------------

***2.22am***

 “May I hold her now?”

 “No. Y’ve had her all night.”

 “W-well you cannot have her while you sleep.”

 “Then y’ can take her once I’ve knocked out.”

 “But I am tired.”

 I look at him, grin. “I’m not.”

 He goes all sulky on me. “Honestly ….”

\-----------------

***1.32pm***

 “Ohhh, hello gorgeous.” Mom steals Carmen from my arms.

 Heh … I may as well be invisible when the kiddy is around. Following her into the living room, I see Emma kneeling in front of a chair.

 She’s back home for a couple of weeks because she doesn’t have any photoshoots booked in. Doesn’t means she’s just gonna chill though. She hops from hobby to hobby, but I think she’s finally found one she likes – doing up old furniture to sell on for a profit.

 She turns around, gives me that sweet smile of hers. “Hey, big bro.”

 “Hey.” I nose at the chair. “Tha’ looks awesome.”

 “Thanks, but it’s not done yet. You wanna help me paint it?”

 “Na, I’ll jus’ make a mess.”

 “Hmm … true. James -?”

 “For the hundredth time, no.” He looks up from his phone for a split second.

 Shaun ….

 Heh, some things never change.   

\----------------

***Wednesday 6th September***

***5.05pm***

 “Will!” I rush over to him as he ports home, drag him into the kitchen.

 “What is it? What is the -?”

 “Carmen’s down for a nap.” Letting go, I yank my shirt over my head. It’s tossed to the floor. “We should be able ta ge’ a quickie in.”

 “A quick …? Oh, I see.”

 “Yeahhh.” My joggers and underwear fall to the ground too. “I’m gaggin’.”

 I hop onto the table so fast I almost slide right off of it.

 “Y-you want to do it in here?”

 “Yeah.” I laugh. “Unless y’ want me ta wake Carmen up.”

 “N-no, no, here is fine.” He leans in, kisses me gently.

 Score!

\----------------------

 Wow … that was great. I – Carmen just started crying …. Heh, good timing though. Proper considerate.

 I sit up –

 “No, no, you get yourself cleaned up. I shall go see what the matter is.”

 “Y’re jus’ as dirty.”

 “Yes … well ….” He grabs a tea towel from one of the drawers, shoves it into his underwear. Zipping up his trousers, he runs from the room.

 I just sit there, can feel the pressure in my sides building. “Wha’ tha actual fuck …?” The pressure erupts, laughter spilling out in waves. That … that was a well funny sight ….

 Collapsing back against the table, I tuck my arms under my head, stare up at the ceiling. I can hear Will comforting our little girl upstairs. I think she just wanted a little attention.

 Shutting my eyes, I smile to myself.

 Life’s just perfect right now, absolutely perfect.

 I have a wonderful family, and the best group of friends anyone could ask for.

 And … and I have a kid, WE have a kid – still can’t quite wrap my head around that. I’m gonna hear her first word – God, I hope it’s ‘Mommy’.

 I’m gonna watch my beautiful Carmen grow up, see her turn into her own person.

 Wow … just wow ….

 I take a deep breath, try to take it all in.

 Amazing. Life is amazing.

 I’m so fucking happy.


	2. Ronald. The end is coming.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I need help. Pretty sure I mentioned that Othello has never been on collection in my last fic ... but I searched for two hours and couldn't find anything. Can anyone remember? 
> 
> Even if he hasn't, he'd still be able to get his hands on a sickle from the weapons locker for this chapter, so I guess it doesn't matter ... but agh, frustrating!

***Saturday 30th September***

***9.14am***

 “F … fuckin’ hell.”

 I stayed at Mom’s place last night with Carmen … was planning to spend the whole weekend. Now I wish I hadn’t. Now I wish … I could have slept in until Will went to work … spent the day with Carmen in ignorance, happy ignorance.

 I never watch the news at home. Grandma always does.

 And now it’s on … I can’t look away, no … matter how horrible the images flashing up on the screen are. I’m not even listening to what the broadcaster is saying – what’s being shown says it all.

 Buildings have been brought down to rubble. The earthquake last night did most of that damage … but the … the tsunami that came in the early hours – fuck ….

 Not tsunami … tsunamis. They hit in more than one place.

 There’s pieces of wood everywhere, b … bodies everywhere.

 The water still hasn’t left the land completely.

 It’s horrible … so fucking horrible ….

 “Oh … those poor souls,” Mom says. I hear the sofa squeak under her weight, but I don’t look away from the TV. I can’t ….

 There’s been talk … a lot of talk at the association … that the end is coming.

 I … I didn’t want to believe it … but with the volcano erupting last week … and now this –

 No! No fucking way!

 Just a … a freak of nature, just a weird, tragic coincidence. That’s all … that’s all it is.

 “You’re going to go cross-eyed at this rate,” Grandma says.  

 “Yeah ….”

 I hear a rush of – what’s Will doing here?

 I rip my eyes away from the screen, spin around. It is him.

 “Wha’ -?”

 “You have to come with me, to the association, at once.”

 “Wha’? Why?”

 He glances at the TV. “The death toll is rising by the second, and the local branches cannot cope. Reapers from branches in the world capitals are being drafted in to help.”

 “B-but I’m not even in today -.”

 “And I wouldn’t have asked, but in times like these, names are generated at random.”

 “B-but ….” I look back over at the TV. I … I don’t wanna see this … for real.

 “You don’t have a choice, I’m afraid. None of us do.” He sighs. “We should get going.”

 “But I don’t ‘ave my uniform -.”

 “I doubt many reapers will be in uniform.” He bends down, wraps a hand around my elbow. “We really must be going.”

 I take one last look at the TV, at the absolute devastation … brace myself. I really don’t have a choice ….

\---------------------------

 “Ughhh ….” Eric slides down in his seat.

 Loads of reapers are gathered in the great hall, most of them still in PJs … some with coffee cups in hand.

 “What’s the matter, Darling?” Grell asks. “Mid thrust when you were summoned?”

 “Mid deep sleep more like.” His chin tucks to his chest – that was a deep sigh ….

 “Hmm, late night?”

 “Aye … should have laid off those last couple of whiskeys.”

 I stare at the two of them – they don’t seem bothered by this … at all, not even a tiny bit sad.

 I … I just don’t get it.

 It’s like –

 A cough startles me. Oh … it was just Will clearing his throat.

 “As you all know -.”

 A loud whoosh makes me flinch again, Olly appearing in front of everyone.

 He gives Will a nervous smile. “Sorry -.”

 “Sit,” Will says as I hear a screech come from Grell.

 “Olly! What are YOU doing here?!”

 “I was summoned?” He rubs at his neck. 

 “But you’ve never been out on collection before! You’ll hurt yourself!”

 “I’ll -.”

 “Willy, you can’t -!”

 “I have no say in this.”

 “But -.”

 “It’s okay -.”

 “No, Olly! It’s -!”

 “Sutcliff, sit.”

 “But -.”

 “Sit down and be quiet.”

 “No -.”

 “End of discussion.”

 Grell slumps back into her seat, huffs loudly.

 Will pushes his glasses up his nose. He doesn't seem phased by the situation either .... “Now that you are all here … we will split into groups of ten in order to cover all ground.” He starts handing out sheets of paper. “This will tell you the group and location you have been assigned to.”

 Group C.

 I glance over at Eric’s paper. C too. That’s something … at least ….

\-----------------

***9.36am***

 I can see bits of wood beneath my feet, bricks around them. I can hear Will’s voice, but I’m not really listening. We ended up in the same group – Grell and Othello too. I don’t know if Will was the one who put us all together, but it doesn’t matter.

 I don’t wanna look up. I don’t wanna –

 “Ronald?”

 I look – oh … shit.

 Everything’s … levelled to the ground – it’s all destroyed.

 Fuck –

 Bodies everywhere.

 “Ronald!”

 Will catches me.

 “Are you -?”

 “H-horrible.” My nails claw at his suit. “Ev-everyone’s d-dead.”

 “I know, I know.” He hugs me tightly … but … but it’s not helping.

 I … I’m gonna be sick. I’m gonna –

 “Oh … Ronald.”

 My throat burns – hard … hard to talk. “S-sorry.”

 “Oh, Darling!” Grell’s hands are on me – she pulls me from Will. “You poor thing. Come, sit down.”

 “O-okay.” I let her drag me over to a pile of wood, sit down on it.

 “It’ll be okay, Ronnie Dear. Just take a breath; take as much time as you need.”

 “Okay ….” I stare out at the mess … the destruction.

 I don’t think … all the time in the world is gonna make this alright ….

\------------------

***10.17am***

 I managed to pull myself together … not because I was ready … but because I didn’t want my friends to deal with this on their own. It didn’t seem fair.

 My gut twists every time I turn over another plank of wood … find another body … battered and bloodied.

 Seeing their last moments in the records … is … is even worse. They were all terrified … struggled so hard to escape that hell.

 I hear a shout in the silence – someone’s alive?

 My head snaps in the direction – it’s a little kid, rushing over to Eric. She tugs at his trouser leg.

 Not surprised she can see him … with all the death in the air.

 He looks down at her, smiles. She’s lifted up, held close to his side. “We’ll get yer somewhere safe, okay?”

 I don’t know if she can understand what he’s saying, but it must be super comforting just to see a friendly face.

 Eric walks off, and none of us say anything, not even Will.

 He knows we shouldn’t be interfering … but it’s a kid.

 No one here would turn their back on a scared, little kid. No way.

 Poor … poor girl – I … I bet she lost … everyone ….   

 And I bet Eric just wants to take her home with him, keep her safe.

 But he can’t.

 He can’t ….

\---------------------

***2.28pm***

 We sit in a group … in a clearing with no bodies. Will’s waiting to see if anyone turns up, tells us to head to a different location. An hour, and if not … we can all go home.

 “Yer okay, Ronnie?” Eric asks – he’s staring at me … waiting for me to break, waiting to pull me into a hug when I do.

 I … I’m trying so hard not to.

 “I … I guess.”

 Grell makes a sighing sound. “You’re too sensitive for these horrors, Ronnie.”

 I … I’d get offended … if I didn’t think she was right. “Y-yeah.” I take a deep breath, try not to cry again. “I … I dunno how y’ do it.”

 “Do what?” Eric frowns.

 “D-deal wi’ shit like this. Y’ … y’ don’t seem phased at all.”

 “World War One,” Eric says. There’s bitterness there, in his voice.  

 “Two,” Grell nods.

 “Yes … World War One … was a sight … to say the least,” Will says.

 “That was hell on earth. When yer see … what humans can do tae each other – natural disasters don’t compare tae the horrors ah saw at the Somme.”

 A noise comes from Will. It … it’s like a wheeze …. “Unforgettable ….”

 I understand … understand completely now. They’re not heartless. It’s not that they don’t care … they’ve just seen worse.

 They’re used to it ….

 Used to it – that … that’s almost worse than not caring.

 “I was just more worried about not decapitating myself with my own scythe,” Olly smiles.

 He says it to lighten the mood … and it works, gets a laugh out of me. He did look pretty stupid, nearly toppling over from the weight of his scythe waving around.

 “You are a useless reaper, Darling.” Grell cackles.

 I chuckle along with the couple.

 If only they could crack jokes all day.

 I … I really need it.

\-------------------

***4.07pm***

 Everyone’s gone home now … apart from me and Will. I wanted to go home, still do … but I don’t feel well enough to travel so far right now.

 Will took me to higher ground, so I could calm down. It’s not really working ….

 “This … this is it, isn’t it?” I ask … terrified of the answer.

 “Pardon?”

 “Th-tha … world’s endin’.”

 “No, no, of course it isn’t.”

 “But -.”

 “They are just rumours, Ronald.” His hand cups my knee. “Every few decades, the end of the world is coming … apparently.”

 “S-so … it’s all jus’ people bein’ paranoid?”

 “Yes.”

 “Y’ sure?”

 “Positive.” His arm wraps around me. “Believe me, it is a frenzy over nothing.”

 “O-okay.” I’m still not convinced ….

 “Should we head back?”

 “Y-yeah, okay.” I do need to get back to Carmen. She’s probably missing me.

\--------------------

 “Hey, sweetheart.” I take her from Mom, cuddle her close. “Y’re happy ta see me, aren’t y’?”

 Her arms wave about – so cute.

 Coming home to her, seeing her adorable face makes me feel like everything is right in the world again.

 If only that was true ….


	3. Eric. It's not real.

***3.41pm***

 Ahh … today was rough … but at least that little girl was alright. When I managed to get her to the closest rescue centre, a lass ran up to her. As far as I could tell, it was her mother, and she’d just wandered off. I hope so. I hope her family got to safety.

 I can’t wait to get home, will be as soon as I finish this food shop. Hadn’t planned on going shopping until tomorrow, but while I’m out and about ….

 I sigh as I pick up a tub of hot chocolate. I was really looking forward to a lazy day in bed with Al and the dogs. Day’s gone to shite.

 Still … I’m glad I was the one who had to go. Al’s seen the worst of the worst, doesn’t need to be around any more devastation.

 The Somme was disturbing, has stuck with me to this day … but Al had to spend weeks in the gas chambers during the Holocaust. I still don’t know how he got through that – I guess he blocked it out as best he could.

 He never has spoken to me about it ….

 I pay for my stuff, head out of the shop as fast as I can. I’ve probably forgotten a few things, but I don’t care. Getting home to Al is my number one priority.

\-------------------

 I port into the kitchen, drop the shopping bag on the counter. The few bits and bobs are taken out –

 That’s odd …. The dogs normally jump me as soon as I come home.

 I look around me. Not a single one ….

 And Al hasn’t come in to greet me either.

 “Al?”

 No answer.

 Hm … he’s probably just napping in the bedroom with the dogs. I head out of the kitchen towards the stairs.

 “I … I’m here.”

 My foot hovers above the first step. Al sounds upset?

 I spin around, rush into the living room. Al stands from the sofa – he looks distraught ….

 “Al … what’s wrong?” I step over the dogs, reach him. “Why are yer crying?”

 “I … I’m scared, Eric.”

 I rub at his upper arm. “Why?” He’s trembling. I haven’t seen him this shaken up … in years ….

 “The … the w-world’s ending.”

 “No -.”

 “A-and when it does, we won’t be needed! We … we -.”

 “Al -.”

 “Fighting the Thorns – it was all for nothing!”

 “Hey! Hey … the world isn’t going tae end anytime soon. It’s just -.”

 “Rumours! I know! I … I know, but I have … I have this horrible feeling that … that’s it’s all r-real this time.”

 “It’s not.”

 “But -.”

 “Al, it’s not, trust me.” I see his lip quiver. Reaching out, I wipe the tears from under his glasses with my thumb. “The disaster was bad … but nowhere near apocalyptic.”

 “Are … are you sure?”

 “Aye, absolutely. Yer’ve worked yerself intae a tizzy over nothing, ah promise.” He’s been alone with his thoughts, has scared the shite out of himself … the poor lad.

 “I … I have … haven’t I ….” He sniffs. “It … it’s just scary to think about.”

 “Aye … ah know.” I cup his face, stroke at his skin with my thumb. “Tell yer what – we’ll head back tae bed, watch films and relax like we were planning tae, forget this whole thing, alright?”

 I get a wee smile. “That sounds lovely.”

 My hands grip his sides. He’s pulled closer, my lips pressing softly to his.

 His arms wrap around my neck as he kisses back deeply. I can feel his body relaxing against mine.

 Good.

 I hate to see him upset.

\-------------------

***4.13pm***

 “Here yer go.” I hand Al a huge mug of hot chocolate.

 He takes it from me, smiling. “Thank you.”

 I just about manage to squeeze into bed next to him, in between all the dogs. No point trying to get them to move. They won’t, are so protective over Al. That’s why they didn’t rush to say hey to me earlier – they were too focused on guarding Al because he was upset.

 A sip is taken from the mug before Al puts it down. He rolls over, cuddles my side.

 “Yer feeling better now?”

 “A lot better. Thank you.”

 “Great,” I grin.

 I’m glad, really glad. Him being happy makes me happy, so happy.

 I think all he needed was for someone to tell him it was alright. Aye, he just needed some reassurance.


	4. Eric Slingby: a day in the life of.

***Saturday 7th October***

***11.42pm***

 I’m starting to lose my mind here. The past week, ever since Al got upset, I haven’t been able to get anywhere near him. The dogs have followed him everywhere, won’t give us a moment’s peace.

 It’s cute and all, but it’s driving me up the wall. I can’t go that long without sex! My balls are going to drop off.

 I don’t think Al’s even realised, has been too busy snuggling up to the pups.

 I lie down in bed, squeeze between Lucky and Alfie … and fidget … fidget in discomfort.

 I’m about to blow.

 Ack! Tomorrow! Tomorrow, I’m going to get him all to myself … somehow.

\---------------------

***Sunday 8th October***

***11.11am***

 Al gets up from the sofa, walks off into the kitchen.

 This is my chance!

 I shoot up from my chair, race into the room after him. The door is locked before the pups have chance to come in.

 Al goes straight over to the fridge – I don’t think he’s noticed I’m here with him. A box of chocolate cake is pulled out. “Do you want some?”

 “Oh … nah.” Hm, he had noticed.

 The cake is cut, a slice put on a plate. Al brings it over to the kitchen table, sits down.

 I take a seat too, opposite him … watch his lips as he begins to eat.

 Arghh … turn on ….

 I wriggle around in my seat. Ock … blue balls ….

 He looks so seductive – is he licking his lips on purpose?!

 Ahhh, sod this!

 The seat is shoved backwards, and I’m under the table in a second.

 “Eric?” My lips press to his crotch. “What – ahh ….”

 “Ah’m so horny, Al.”

 “I can tell.”

 “Can yer blame me? It’s been a week.”

 “Has it …? Oh … I suppose it has ….”

 Playing dumb, I see. He knew. Oh ... he knew, the wee tease.

 He wants me to do him hard. 

 “Aye.” His hips buck as I kiss him again.

 “C-can’t I finish my cake first?”

 “No.” I’m about to explode.

 Tease. 

\-----------------

 I slam that perky arse of his down on the table, waste no time in ripping his top from him.

 Gorgeous.

 He’s pulled close, his legs wrapping around my waist as we kiss. What a great kiss.   

 There’s a scratching sound at the door, the dogs wanting in.

 Fat chance.

 Our tongues meet, my hands moving to his bottoms.

 I can’t wait any longer.

\------------------

 “Ah! Ah!” His nails claw at my hips.

 “Nghh ….” 

 He … he looks beautiful, flushed and panting below me.

 “Eric, m-more.”

 “Hnnn ….” I slam into him – shite ….

 “Ah!” He clenches –

 “Ahhh ….”

 I fall down on top of him. Shite … that was amazing ….

 Al giggles down my ear. “Do you feel better now?”

 “Aye, much better.” My eyes roll as I hear the dogs barking. “Ock … seriously ….”

 He laughs again. “They probably think you were trying to kill me.”

 “Aye … true.” I press my lips close to his ear. “Yer shouldn’t be so loud.”

 “You’re not very quiet either.”

 I chuckle, cuddle him tightly.

 The dogs can wait to see him.

 I want him all to myself for a wee bit longer.

\----------------

***Saturday 14th October***

***9.04pm***

 Ronnie opens the door to us, Carmen cradled awkwardly in his one arm. “Hey.”

 “Hey.” Smiling, I lift the game console up. “Ready tae get yerr arse kicked?”

 “Are y’?” He grins.

 “Yer cheeky sod.”

 We’ve come over to play video games, watch films, have a grand old time ... but most of all, we’re here to see cute wee Carmen. Don’t want to miss a minute of her growing up.

\--------------------

***9.39pm***

 Al has Carmen in his lap, is fussing over her, making faces and clapping her hands together.

 That’s adorable – ah, shite! I look back at the TV. He’s winning! Shite!

 I slam on my controller. “Ock! Come on!”

 “Hah!”

 Too late ….

 “In y’ face!” He bounces up and down on his arse like a wee child.

 “Aye … aye, yer won. No need tae gloat.” I turn around on the carpet. “Jay, yer’re up.”

 “Sure.” He takes my place, and I go over to Al, pick Carmen up. She’s bounced in my arms.

 Her little hands grip at my shirt. Ock, that’s charming. She’s such a sweet wee lass.

 Ahh … being an uncle is the greatest.


	5. Ronald ... Spears.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poll time.  
> Next chapter, I want:  
> \- More Carmen cuteness.  
> \- The plot to advance quicker.

***Sunday 31st December***

***9.04pm***

 “Ock! Who’s the daddy?!” Eric cheers, slams his hands together so hard I can hear the clapping noise over the chatter of everyone in the hall.

 We … we made it to the New Year. We made it. The world hasn’t ended. I think Will was right about it all just being rumours … I think. It looks that way, at least.

 I finally feel like I can breathe again.

 “Jay, come here,” Eric calls. He’s pretty hammered already – I dunno how he’s still beating everyone at darts.

 We decided not to go to a party, with having Carmen around. So, Eric decided to hold a games night with a disco at the end. Dunno if we’ll be staying for that … don’t really care – I’ve had a lot of fun playing board games. I think Will has too – he won so many rounds of chess!

 I chuckle as I see Jay go over to Eric. He’s gonna get his ass slammed.

\-----------------

***9.18pm***

 Carmen makes a little noise. She’s had so much attention tonight, everyone coming up and wanting to hold her. She didn’t seem to mind it though, just stayed still and looked up at all the random people holding her.

 She really is a good little girl. We’re proper lucky parents. And she’s doing so well too, is putting on weight bit by bit, is hitting all her milestones. She’s already starting to crawl about a bit, has been having mashed up and soft food alongside her milk. 

 Another little sound comes from her.

 Hmm … I don’t think she’s tired. “Y’ hungry, Carmen?” Putting her on my lap, I pull a little tub of mushy banana outta a cool bag. Will won’t buy those ready-made things, makes it all himself. Bit of a pain, to be fair, because I have to carry this thermal bag everywhere with me.

 And I don’t even wanna think about his junk food ban. He hasn’t let me eat any yums in front of her for ages! I have to hide out in the bedroom every time I want a friggin chocolate bar.

 Ugh … eating healthier sucks. I –

 Ahhh, she is hungry. Can see it written all over her face as she eyes up the tub.

 Uh … where did I put that spoon?

\----------------

***11.59pm***

 Eric sits down at our table, wraps his arm around Al’s neck from behind as he chuckles. “Poor lass just couldn’t take the late night, aye?”

 “Na.” Carmen fell asleep about an hour ago, has been fast since then even with all the noise. So well behaved. “She tried her best though.”

 “Aye.” He pulls out his phone. “Ack, it’s almost time! Get up! Up!”

 We all go over to the nearest big-screen TV, see footage being beamed over from some park in the reaper realm. Heh … reminds me of the time we went to see the fireworks when I first came here, got sloshed on the whiskey Eric gave me.

 Eric really does love his whiskey, but he’s super considerate. He’ll only drink around me on special occasions, and when we go out, he’ll wait until I’m dancing before he orders any booze.

 I wouldn’t care if he drank around me all the time, because it’s his life, but it’s nice that he thinks of me – ah! Countdown!

 I count along.

 “3! 2!1!”

 I feel Carmen flinch – loud asses woke my poor girl up. “It’s -.”

 Someone tugs on my hand, begins to shake it weirdly.

 _Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
_ _and never brought to mind?_

 Ah … this song. I get it now. _  
_

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
_ _and auld lang syne?_

 Hah! Eric’s really going for it. He fucking loves this song. _  
_

_For auld lang syne, my dear,_  
_for auld lang syne._

_We’ll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet,  
for auld lang syne._

 I look down at Carmen. She’s staring up at me with those big, curious eyes.

 It makes me smile so widely. “Welcome ta y’ second year, Carmen.”

\-------------------

***Saturday 24th February 2035***

***11.11am***

 “Ronald, we really need to -.”

 “Yeah, yeah, I know. I – Carmen!” I hurry over to her, scoop her from the floor. “Don’t go rushin’ off, Kiddo.”

 “Ronald -.”

 “I know!” I carry her over to the kitchen table, plonk my ass down on a chair.

 We decided to have our wedding in the summer way back, because we didn’t wanna go on our honeymoon and leave Carmen with my mom when she was super young.

 Problem is … it’s only three months away now, and Will’s getting super stressed. I don’t think we’re that far off getting everything sorted, but Will doesn’t agree.

 A catalogue is slid in front of me. “You need to pick your suit.”

 I flick through the pages with my spare hand to page seventeen. We’ve been over this so many times I know the fucking page number off by heart. I hit the printed image with my finger. “This one.”

 “No. I keep telling you -.”

 “I -.”

 “It is pink, Ronald.”

 “I don’t care. Y’ wouldn’t let me wear a dress, so -.”

 “Of course I won’t. It’s -.” 

 “Then I’m wearin’ tha pink suit. End of.”

 He grumbles at me. “Fine … fine, pink suit it is ….”

 “Thank y’.”

 The catalogue is taken away. “Now then … flower arrangements ….”

 “Ugh.” I lean back in my seat. Great ….

\------------------

***Saturday 17th March***

***1.07pm***

 “Wha’ y’ doin’, Carmen, hmm?” I chuckle as she waves her rattle at me. She loves that toy so much, has since she was teeny tiny.

 Leaning forward, I hold a hand out. “Can I ‘ave y’ rattle?” I reach out further.

 Ohh … that was a dirty look. She smacks the rattle against her chest, turns away from me.

 Heh, I’ll take that as a no.

 She shuffles away from me on her bum, starts to shake it again.

 That’s damn cute.

\----------------------

***Thursday 31st May***

***7.08pm***

 I’m a really proud Mommy right now.

 Carmen is doing so well! She’s on mainly solid food now, is trying her best to walk and talk. She’s making all kind of funny sounds. And I swear to God she understands everything I’m saying.

 We celebrated her first birthday on the 27th of April, and Will actually let her have a bit of cake – only something for special occasions, obviously, because he always makes sure she eats super healthy. Nothing but fruit and veg, rice, pasta, chicken … boring stuff. I know it’s really good for her, but it must taste bland as hell.

 No point arguing with him about it though. It won’t get me anywhere. He still won’t let me eat junk around her.

 “What is this, Carmen?” Will smiles as he places a plate down in front of her. It’s a new food! I love seeing her try things for the first time. It’s so exciting to see her reaction!

 Heh … I didn’t know sweet potato even existed before today.

 She picks a piece up with her chubby little fingers, puts it in her mouth.

 “Do y’ like it?” She’s liked everything so far, except peas. She spat that out, and the green fucker hit me in the middle of the forehead. Will tried to tell her off for spitting, but he was too busy laughing.

 Peas … man, peas. She likes broccoli … but peas? I just don’t get it.

 “Is it nice, Kiddo?”

 She smiles. I think she likes it. Daww.

\------------------

***Thursday 7th June***

***12.08pm***

 Okay … just breathe … just breathe, Ronnie.

 “You look very handsome, Darling.”

 “Th-thanks.”

 Breathe ….

 Grell laughs at me. “Oh, don’t look so nervous. You’ve put up with each other for years now. You’ll be just fine.”

 “Y-yeah.”

 “There’s no need to be scared, really.”

 “I … I’m not scared. Jus’ nervous … but excited nervous, y’ know?”

 “I know exactly what you mean, Darling.” She leans in close to me, whispers in my ear. “And I can tell you that Willy is a nervous wreck right now.”

 That makes me chuckle … imagining Will all sweaty and jittery. It takes the edge off. Ah … thanks, Grell.

 “Ah!” Mom comes rushing in – my cheeks are squeezed. I’m pulled into a hug. “Ya look gorgeous, Ronnie! Oh, my lil man’s big day! I can’t believe it’s really ‘ere!”

 My heart pounds even harder.

 Thanks, Mom ….

\---------------

***12.32pm***

 We … we’ve just been called. Here … here goes nothing.

 I cling to Mom’s arm as we step onto the aisle, walk down it.

 I … I feel fucking sick.

 My heart’s gonna pop outta my chest, I’m so – we’re here already?! Na, na –

 “You look beautiful, Ronald.”

 My heart melts, the nerves easing at his sweet words. I smile at him. “Told y’ pink was a good idea.”

 “Yes,” he chuckles. “Apologies.”

 “Will you ….”

 “Yes.”

 “Y-yeah!”

 “To love each other ….”

 The vows are flying past. This is … this is really happening.

 My stomach lurches. The moment’s here.

 “I do.”

 He does! He really loves me. Fuck ….

 I … I’m starting to choke up.

 “I so do.”

 “You may now kiss.”

 I fucking do, grab hold of him and snog him with everything I’ve got.

 Grell squeals, is totally getting wet over it.

 But it doesn’t matter, the noise fading out fast.

 This is our moment. Just ours.

 And it feels fucking amazing.

\---------------------

***Friday 8th June***

***9.08am***

 The wedding reception was so much fun, all that dancing and prancing about, laughing like idiots.

 James was a bit off though, said he felt really sick, but he tried his best to enjoy the night, for me. Dawww.

 I’m sure he’ll be fine – it was probably just a tummy bug or something.

 “Y’ be good for Grandma, Carmen, okay?”

 “Mmm …. Mmmm.”

 Mom laughs as she takes Carmen from me. “She’s really trying to say Momma.”

 “Yeah, I know,” I beam.

 The smile slips away.

 “She’ll be fine, ‘oney. Ya just enjoy ya ‘oneymoon, okay?”

 “Y-yeah, I know.” I reach out, hold Carmen’s tiny hand. “I’m jus’ really gonna miss her.”

 “It’s only five days. You’ll survive.”

 Trust James to be blunt as hell.

 I turn to look – jeez … he looks ill. “Still not feelin’ good?”

 “I feel like shit.”

 “James, get back to bed this instant!” Grandma screeches from the next room. “You need rest!”

 He rolls his dull, tired looking eyes. “I’m going, I’m going! Bloody nightmare ….”

 I chuckle, turn back to –

 “I will see ya on Wednesday.”

 Hah … point taken.

\-----------------------

***Saturday 9th June***

***11.02am***

 This honeymoon in Spain is the best, so relaxing.

 We’ve just ported to a beach that’s cut off from everything, everyone. It’s so nice and peaceful here, and warm, really nice and warm, but not too hot thanks to the breeze.

 And the sun feels great on your skin. Not that Will would know – he’s all covered up, the freak.

 I roll over on the beach towel, my hand running up his chest. “Hey … Will -.”

 “No.”

 “Aww, come on, no one’s gonna see us. Besides, it’s our honeymoon. Shaggin’ is tha whole point.”

 He huffs down my ear. “Fine ….”

 “Really?” Heh, he didn’t need much convincing.

 He pulls me closer, his lips pressing to mine.

 Yup, that’s totally a yes.

 Sex on the beach – hot!

\-------------------

***Wednesday 13th June***

***10.11am***

 I race into the living room – fuck, I’ve missed her so much! “There y’ are!” Lunging at Emma, I pluck my little girl from her grip. “Ohhh, Momma’s really missed y’.”

 “M … Ma … Ma.”

 What ….?

 My jaw hits the floor.

 “She … she just said -.”

 “I know!” I cut Will off. “Oh, Carmen, y’re so clever!”

 Sitting down on the sofa next to Emma, I try to take it in. She finally said Momma!

 Mom giggles. “We ‘ave some good news too.”

 “Oh, yeah!” Emma bounces up and down.

 “Really? What’s tha’?”


	6. William. Troubling circumstances unveiling.

***2.02pm***

 I am going to be an uncle ….

 That came as quite the shock to me, I must admit, and I think Ronald was equally as surprised. James never struck us as the sort to want children.

 In all honesty, I never thought another child would come into our lives. Our friends here cannot bear children, and Emma has said she enjoys travelling far too much to ever want a child.

 I … I am going to be an uncle, and our daughter is going to have someone close to her age to play with. Carmen not knowing how to act around other children has been on my mind, has been a nagging concern.

 It is still early days, James only six weeks pregnant … but if all goes well, we will have another child to fuss over very soon.

 Amazing.

\-----------------------------

***Thursday 19th July***

 My optimism has crashed and burned. A month on … James isn’t doing well at all. Last week, his morning sickness became horrific, and he is now suffering terrible aches and pains … debilitating migraines.

 Ronald is so worried for him that he has been sleeping over at his Grandmother’s house most nights. I am missing him immensely … but I understand. If something were to go wrong, he could lose his brother ….

 I hope he will be alright. I hope … but I am just not sure ….

\-----------------------------

***11.56am***

 “Carmen, don’t do that.” I pick her up, take her away from one of our dogs. “It is not nice to pull on his tail.”

 She began to walk two weeks ago, has been giving me the run-around since then. She tries to wriggle out of my arms.

 “Carmen, no.”

 I know for a fact that she understands the word ‘no’, but it seems she is in a cheeky mood.

 Plan B – distraction technique.

 “Do you want to play with your rattle?”

 She knows that word too, very well. Her eyes are fixed on me now. I have her full attention.

 But finding the well-loved toy will prove … challenging. Carmen has a habit of leaving her toys in the most astonishing of places. I think she tries to hide them from Ronald so that the oversized child cannot play with them himself.

 Keeping her in a tight hold, I go on a search. Oh … there it is, hidden behind one of the chairs. “You didn’t hide that very well, Carmen.” The rattle is handed over, shook madly in front of my face.

 She smiles, giggles loudly.

 “Isn’t that much more fun than tormenting the dogs?”

 Judging by her excitement, I would say so.

\--------------------------

***Thursday 26th July***

***10.33am***

 “Oh, dear.” I lift Carmen up, bounce her in my arms. It does little to calm her.

 My poor daughter is teething … quite badly. Six teeth have come through already, one by one … but this time around, she has four worming their way out of her gums.

 She is in quite a lot of … distress, wants nothing to do with me.

 I wish Ronald were here, could honestly do with his help and support. Seeing my child like this, it … it is horrid.

 But I know how concerned he is for his brother, cannot blame him for wanting to be there for him.

 “Shhh, shhh. It is alright.” She continues to grizzle down my ear. “Okay, okay, calm down. We will get you some paracetamol, and you will feel much better in no time.”

 I hurry into the kitchen, put her down in her high chair. The lock on the cupboard is taken off, the door yanked open. I pull – empty. The bottle is empty.

 My eyebrow twitches. Why didn’t Ronald tell me he had given her the last of it before he left last night? Was that not an important bit of information, maybe? Honestly ….

 Okay … think, William … think.

 There is not a chance in hell that I am taking Carmen out shopping in her condition.

 Think ….

 Who can I contact?

 Alan? No, he – oh, Eric. He is in his office today, I am sure.

 I hurry to find my phone, call his mobile. One ring … two –

 “Hello?”

 “Eric, it is William -.”

 “Aye, ah know. Caller ID is a thing.”

 “Yes, yes ... well, I have a favour to ask of you.”

 He chuckles down the phone. “Aye, sure. Anything tae get me away from this paperwork.”

 I will ignore that comment …. “Can you pick me up a bottle of paracetamol? Carmen is teething, and we have run out.”

 I hear him sigh. “Aye … Ronnie told me all about that …. Poor lass.”

 “Yes … she is suffering quite badly at the moment. Can you -?”

 “Ah’ll be right there. See yer -.”

 “Wait! Wait -.”

 “Aye?”

 “Can you bring teething gel also?”

 “Aye, of course.”

\---------------------------

***5.09pm***

 Ronald comes into the living room, clad in his work attire. I know how hard it is for him to tear himself away from his family at the moment, but he has no choice. I have done my best to help the situation, have cut his hours down, made sure he isn’t in before noon … but I can do no more.

 “Hey.”

 “Afternoon. How is he?”

 The sigh says it all. “Not good. Mom had ta ge’ him a prescription for some nausea meds, he’s so -.”

 “Is that safe in his condition?”

 “Yeah, if he only uses them short-term. I jus’ hope this works – he’s not keepin’ anythin’ down.”

 “I’m sure it will. He wouldn’t be given that medication if it wasn’t proven to work.”

 “Yeah ….” He draws nearer to me and Carmen. A smile is forced. “How’s my little girl?” As he takes her from me, she begins to grizzle. “Aww, someone is a little grump today. It’s sore, I know ... I know.” He takes a seat next to me, our child continuing to cry. “It’s rough, I know …. Has she eaten much today?”

 “No.” His face falls. “She will be fine, Ronald. I have made sure that she is drinking enough.”

 “B-but -.”

 “Children often lose their appetites for a few days when they are feeling under the weather. It is nothing -.”

 “Under tha weather?”

 “Well, yes ….” Brace yourself, William …. “She has a bit of a fever -.”

 “Wha’?!” He feels her forehead. “Shit -.”

 “She will be fine.”

 “No -.”

 “The next dose of paracetamol will probably start to bring it down.”

 “A-are y’ sure?”

 “Yes.”

 “Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Okay, th-that’s fine.”

 Honestly, he worries too much, works himself into a state every time Carmen has a little case of the sniffles, vomits up a tiny bit of food.

 I understand why, know he is frightened of letting Talia down, but if something was truly wrong, I think I would know.

 He really doesn’t need to be so overly concerned ….

\-------------------------

***Friday 27th July***

***2.14am***

 I rub at Carmen’s back, try my best to provide comfort. It is doing little to help her mood, or mine. She hasn’t slept a wink, and it is getting rather late.

 I know it isn’t her fault, do not blame her in the slightest … but none of us will get any sleep at this rate ….

 “You should go into the guestroom, get some rest.”

 “Na, I’m -.”

 “You have work in a few hours.”

 “So do y’.”

 “Yes, but you are out on collections. I don’t want tiredness to affect your performance.” I don’t want him to get himself hurt.

 “Oh … good point.” He has been injured on the job so many times that there is no argument to make. “Y’ sure?”

 “Yes.”

 “Alright.” He leans over, kisses Carmen on the head – she doesn’t seem too keen on that, is so grumpy she just wants to be left alone. “I’ll see y’ … in a few hours.”

 “Yes …. Sleep well.”

\------------------------

***7.00am***

 Alarm ….

 Damn alarm ….

 I crack one eye open, look at the clock. Carmen fell asleep around three … I think. Four hours sleep is better than nothing, I suppose … though it doesn’t feel that way.

 The floorboards creak from just outside of the room. The door swings open, Ronald rushing in. “Mornin’.”

 “Did you get any sleep?” Please tell me you weren’t awake all-night worrying ….

 “Yeah, but y’ alarm woke me up.” He turns it off.

 I feel Carmen shift against my chest. She isn’t crying … yet; a good sign.

 “Ma ….”

 “Oh, hey, Carmen,” Ronald smiles. “Y’ feelin’ better?” Bending over the bed, he presses his palm to her forehead. “Hey, Will, her fever’s goin’ down.”

 “As I told you it would.”

 “Yeah … I know.” She is taken from me. “I’ll try ta ge’ her ta eat somethin’. Y’ go back ta sleep for a bit.”

 I am not going to argue with that. “Thank you.” Closing my eyes, I relax into the pillow.

 “Uh, who’s got Carmen today?”

 “Jay.”

 “Ah, okay, cool.”

 Honestly, I do not envy him ….

\-----------------

***8.49am***

 “She has had a bit of breakfast. Try to have her eat a little throughout the day, but if she refuses, do not worry too much about it.”

 “Okay -.”

 “But make sure she drinks enough.”

 “Yeah, alright -.”

 “And she needs paracetamol -.”

 “Yes, yes, I understand.”

 “…Sorry.” I was rambling a little, wasn’t I …?

 “It’s alright.” He smiles as Carmen is given to him. “We’ll be alright, won’t we? Oh … someone is cranky.”

 “Okay … well, I will see you this evening. In the meantime, if you need anything -.”

 “I’ll phone you. “

 “Thank you.”

 “No problem.”

 “Okay.”

 “… Yep ….”

 Oh ….

 I should probably get out of his hair ….


	7. Ronald. An apology long time coming.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strap in, because, in about 5 chapters time, shit's gonna hit the fan.

***Saturday 28th July***

***11.22am***

 “It’s alright.” I pull James up from the bathroom floor. “It’s alright.”

 “Nghh ….” He leans up against me, is shaking like a leaf. “Wh-where’s Shaun?”

 “He had ta go out, remember? Hey, hey, don’t ge’ upset. We’ll ge’ y’ back ta bed so y’ can take a nap, okay? He’ll be back before y’ know it then.”   

 “O-okay.”

 I get him into the bedroom, help him into bed so he doesn’t collapse on the floor. He looks so fucking frail ….

 The meds haven’t done a thing.

\----------------------

***Tuesday 18th September***

 Man … the last few months have been … so up and down. Carmen’s done so well, has been learning new stuff every day. I’m a proper proud Mommy … but a sad Mommy too. I feel guilty … so guilty for missing so much time with her.

 I … I know she misses me when I’m not there.

 And I’ve been so scared for my little brother, haven’t slept much the past three months because the sickness has been really bad. He ended up in … hospital a few times … it got that nasty.

 But it seems like it’s easing off now. I … I just hope it stays that way.

\-----------------

***Friday 28th December***

***9.47am***

 The baby is gonna be here in a week.

 A week!

 Wow … just wow. That’s amazing … and really scary. Really scary ….

 Because male pregnancy is so fucking risky, gets riskier the further on you get, they’re bringing him in for a caesarean a month before he’s due.

 That … that’s gonna be rough. I know how much it hurts … being cut into like that. I just hope he’ll be okay ….

 I just want him to be okay.

 Walking into his bedroom, I see the grumpy look on his face. He’s bored out of his brains as usual. Poor guy has been on bedrest since he found out he was preggers, Grandma and Shaun keeping the business running until after the baby’s born.

 Heh … Grandma cusses him if he even dares to ask about the company.

 Nurse Rose smiles at me – Grandma employed two of them to look after James after the sickness meds didn’t work.

 “Hey.”

 “Hi,” he grumbles. The sickness has gone completely … but he’s still really uncomfortable. The baby is putting a lot of pressure on his hips, and he’s getting pretty big now. It’s making moving about super awkward.

 Heh … his waddling is kinda cute though.

 “How y’ feelin’?”

 “Ugh … stupid kid keeps kicking me in the ribs.” He pulls himself up higher in bed. “It’s killing me.”

 “They don’t mean it.”

 “Yeah … I know.” He huffs. “I seriously can’t wait for them to get here.”

 “Heh, me neither. Y’ll be less of a grump then.”

 Oh … that was a super glare. “It’s not my fault – bloody hormones ….”

 I chuckle at him. “Good point. Y’ want anythin’ ta eat?” before I sit down.

 “I’m alright, thanks.”

 “Y’ eaten much today?”

 Eye-roll. “Yes, I’ve had breakfast. Stop worrying so much.”

 “R-right.”

 But I can’t help it ….

 I just want you to be okay ….

\-----------------

***10.03am***

 “Rose?”

 “Yes?”

 “Can you leave the room for five minutes? I need to speak to my brother.”

 What?

 “Of course.”

 “James … is everythin’ alright?”

 Silence ….

 “James?”

 The door shuts.

 “What’s -?”

 “Th-there’s something I need to say to you.”

 That doesn’t sound good …. “Yeah?”

 He looks away from me, his hand rubbing at his bump.

 “James, wha’ -?”

 “I ….”

 “Yeah?” I take his spare hand, squeeze it. “Come on, y’ can tell me.”

 “I … I’m really sorry.”

 Huh??? “For wha’?”

 He looks at me again. “F-for how … how I treated you when … we were younger.”

 Oh ….

 Seriously, that’s all he wanted to say? I thought it was something really important ... really bad .... 

 “It’s alright -.”

 “No … no, it … it’s not. I said some really mean things to you.”

 “It wasn’t y’ fault. Y’-.”

 “It was. I -.”

 “No, it really wasn’t. Tha’ bastard twisted everythin’, made y’ think I was tha bad one. I can’t blame y’ for believin’ y’ dad over some randomer who came through y’ front door.”

 “But -.”

 “But nothin’. Y’ were jus’ a little kid. Little kids ge’ angry when shit happens and they don’t understand why.”

 He nods slowly. “I … I guess. I’m still sorry … f-for everything.”

 “It’s cool, seriously.” Please don’t get upset. Please. You couldn’t help it.

 “Ri-right.” He doesn’t sound convinced ....

 “Look, we’ve been on good terms for years, right?”

 “We have.”

 “Then it’s water under tha bridge.”

 “You sure?”

 “Yeah.” I pat his hand gently. “Thanks for thinkin’ of me though.”

 “It … it’s okay.” Lifting his other hand, he wipes at his eyes roughly. “Ugh … stupid hormones. This kid really needs to get out of me already.”

 “Y’ve only got a week left,” I smile. You’ve got through this much; you can get through this last little bit.

 “Yeah, thank God for that.” He wipes his tears away again.

 “Y’ want a hug?”

 A glare is sent my way. “Fuck off.”

 I can’t help but laugh. Hah … that’s my bro.

\-----------------------

***10.53am***

 “Stop fussing over me! Get off!” James swats Shaun’s hand away.

 He’s just got back from baby shopping, is touching James’ bump, being all cutesy.

 “I don’t want – oh, they’re kicking.”

 Looks like the kid’s finally moved from under his ribs.

 James cracks a smile. “Yeah, they are.” He gets a kiss on the cheek. “Okay, okay, enough. Show me what clothes you bought.”

 “Alright.” Shaun gets another kiss in before climbing off the bed.

 I sit there, watch as he shows off all of the little outfits.

 Man … I really wish they’d found out the gender of the baby. I get that they wanted it to be a surprise, and Grell and I have a gut feeling it’s a boy but … gah! I don’t like waiting.

 I wanna know if I’m gonna have a niece or a nephew already!

\-------------------------

***Saturday 29th December***

***4.57pm***

 One collection left … and then I can go home. Ugh, it’s been a long day ….

 The ledger is – phone’s ringing ….

 It’s probably Eric asking me if I wanna go out for drinks. Man … I’ve been neglecting my friends way too much recently …. As soon as the baby’s safely here, I’ll make it up to them. I’ll make sure I do.

 I pull it out of my pocket – Mom? What’s she –

 “Hello?”

 My heart sinks.

 He … he’s gone into labour … early –

 It’s too early!

 No ….

 No!

 This … this can’t be happening!

 Not again ….

 “Just geh to the ‘ospital as soon as ya can.”

 I swallow down the lump in my throat. I … I can’t breathe. “Y-yeah. I … I’m comin’ ….”


	8. Ronald. Wake up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaps might be a little less frequent because I'm trying to make them longer so I can get to the main plot sooner. Might have to split them up (so a few more chaps than promised before main plot starts, but we'll see.)

***7.33pm***

 Come on … wake up. Please … please wake up.

 I wanna tell you that your baby’s here, and safe, and … and so fucking cute.

 Just wake up ….

 Will touches my shoulder, squeezes it.

 He’s the only thing keeping me from breaking down right now. He did my last collection for me then got here as soon as he could. He … he’s my rock.

 I rest my head on him, bite down on my lip.

 This shouldn’t be happening.

 He was supposed to have a caesarean six days from now, was supposed to be sore, but in good enough shape to see his baby in the incubator.

 He … he wasn’t meant to start bl-bleeding like that, wasn’t meant to … to pass out on the table.

 They … they had to rush him into surgery, st-stitch him up.

 But now … he … he won’t wake up.

 Fuck ….

 The nurses said the anaesthesia from surgery should have worn off by now, so … so why won’t he just wake up?

\---------------------

***8.05pm***

 “Nghhh ….”

 What? Is he –

 He’s waking up!

 The breathing mask is pulled down. “Wh … wha …?”

 Mom leans over the bed, strokes at his hair. “It’s -.”

 “The baby!” He jolts. “Is … is the baby okay?”

 “He’s fine,” I smile.

 “H-he? We … we had a boy?”

 “We did,” Shaun squeezes his hand, smiles.

 “So … so ‘Ashely’ then?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Can I see him?” He tries to sit up, but … but he’s so weak ….

 “Ya need to rest, sweetie.” Mom puts her hand on his shoulder.  

 “We’ll bring him in to see you as soon as we can,” the nurse says.

 “I … I -.”

 “Grandma and Grandpa are with ‘im right now. He’ll be fine.”

 “O-okay.” He lies still, lets Mom fuss over him.

 Just knowing that Ashely is here, is safe … I think that’s enough for him.

\---------------------------

***Thursday 31st January 2036***

***11.40am***

 James walks out of the hospital slowly, Ashely held close to his chest.

 He’s finally getting out of that fucking place … after a month. Ashley was strong enough to leave after two weeks, but James has been really ill.

 He started bleeding again the day after Ashely was born, had to be rushed back in for surgery. Then he got a … a really nasty infection.

 I watch him closely. He still doesn’t look very well, and he’s lost tonnes of weight. He was getting kinda chubby towards the end of the pregnancy, but now ….

 And I’m still not totally convinced that he’s gonna be okay.

 He doesn’t look happy to be going home. He looks … kinda freaked out ….

 When we all found out James was pregnant, he said they’d been planning it for a while. I didn’t believe him ….

 He found out he could get pregnant when he was sixteen, had to go on birth control right then and there so his hormones wouldn’t get all messed up.

 I don’t think it was planned out. He forgot to take the pill, or it didn’t work ….

 Whichever it was … he wasn’t expecting it ….

 And now he’s got a baby … who he couldn’t bond with properly at the start because he was so ill.

 I really hope the little family is gonna be okay.

 He makes it over to the car.

 Uh … Grandma doesn’t look happy.

 “Why are you still in your pyjamas? The head of a company should not be seen in public in such -.”

 “Yeah, yeah, you’re glad I’m coming home. I get it.” He slips past her, gets into the car.

 I bend down, peek inside. “I ‘ave ta ge’ ta work, okay?”

 “Okay.”

 “But I’ll be back tonight -.”

 “No. You should spend tonight with Carmen.”

 “I -.”

 “She’s missing you, isn’t she?”

 “Yeah.” I rub at my head. “She really is ….” He has a point …. “Y’ sure y’ll be alright?”

 “Yes, positive.”

 “But -.”

 “Stop worrying about me already.”

 “Uh, right.”

 I … I don’t think I could if I tried ….

\----------------------------

***Friday 1st February***

***10.18am***

 “Hey.”

 Emma looks up from her magazine. “Hey, big bro.”

 I look over at James. He’s flat out on the sofa. “Y’ okay?”

 “Ugh ….”

 “Little big bro is tired.”

 “Yeah ….” Rubbing his face, he groans. “Ashley was fussing all night. I didn’t get any sleep.”

 Yeah … Ashley is a crier. Must be rough …. “Tha’ sucks.”

 “You’re telling me.” Rolling over, he hides a face in a pillow. “Urghh ….”

 “Y’ want somethin’ ta eat?” 

 A loud groan comes my way. “No … I’m not hungry.”

 “Okay ….”

 I … I knew it. I knew he wasn’t gonna do so well ….

 I just didn’t think shit would go downhill so quickly ….

\-----------------------

***Sunday 24th February***

***2.03pm***

 He … he seems really depressed. Every time Ashley starts crying, he looks like he’s gonna cry too. Poor guy ….

 I’m gonna go keep an eye on him, see if I can get him alone so I can talk to him. He probably won’t open up to me … but it’s worth a try.

 I pull my coat on. “Will, I’ll see y’ later.”

 “Momma!” Carmen hurries up to me, grips my joggers.

 Oh … don’t give me that look ….

 “No.” She tugs at my clothes.

 Pulling her hand away, I bend down in front of her. “I’ll be back really soon.”

 “No!”

 “I will. And then we can play wi’ Mr Teddy, okay?”

 “No ….” Oh man … please don’t cry. I … I feel bad enough already.

 “Carmen,” Will calls, “it’s lunchtime.”

 Her face lights up. “Banarwa?”

 “Yes, you can have a banana after your main lunch.”

 Giggling, she toddles off towards the kitchen.

 Ahh, thanks, Will, you’re a lifesaver.

\---------------------

 “Where’s James?”

 “He’s upstairs in the office, I think.” Mom doesn’t look up at me, is too busy fussing over Ashley.

 “Alright, thanks.” I walk out of the room, up the – uh, is someone behind –

 Ah, it’s Emma.

 I knock on the office door. Huh … no answer?

 My hand grabs the knob. I turn it. “Hey, James, y’ …?

 He’s bent forward in his chair, fists hiding his –

 “James, why are y’ cryin’?” I hurry over to him. “What’s tha matter?”

 “Bro, what’s wrong?”

 I try to pull his hands away from –

 “No! L-leave me alone.”

 “We … we jus’ wanna know what’s wrong, okay?” I try again, but he still won’t budge. “Come on, look at me. Look at me … please?”

 He stops fighting. I pull – his eyes are all bloodshot. The … the tears are just dripping ….

 “James -.”

 “I … I can’t take this ….”

 “Y’ -.”

 “It’s too much!” He hiccups. “I … I’m not r-ready for a baby.”

 I know …. “It’ll be alright -.”

 “It won’t! I … I’m a failure.” He slumps forward, clings to me. “I … I can’t do anything r-right ….”

 I … I’ve never seen him so upset. He’s in a right state.

 “You’re not a failure.” Emma looks at me. She wants me to do something, say something. “Babies are hard work.”

 “I am! I can’t even run this damn business anymore!”

 “Wha’ do y’ mean?” I wrap my arms around him. “Y’re always on y’ -.”

 “I … I keep falling behind schedule.”

 “Because -?”

 “A-and it’s not fair on Ashley – I can never spend time with him. It … it’s like I don’t even know my own child. I … I feel awful.”

 “Shaun can help you run -.”

 “No! No … I told him n-not to.”

 “Wha’? Why?”

 “B-because I … I don’t want Ashley to be lonely, and -.”

 “Well -.”

 “And Shaun’s mad at me already!”

 “Why?” Emma asks.

 “B-because I … I don’t remember … I don’t remember Ashley being b-born.”

 Huh? That’s weird …. “I thought y’ passed out before he came out?”

 “I … I thought so too, but Shaun said – h-he’s mad because I don’t remember.”

 “It not your fault, bro. You were really sick.”

 “Exactly. He shouldn’t be makin’ y’ feel bad.”

 Another hiccup as he hides his face in my neck. “I … I don’t know what to do. I c-can’t do … anything right.”

 “That’s not true. Y’re jus’ really stressed out.”

 He nods against my skin. “T-too much.”  

 Emma reaches forward, touches his shoulder. “Why don’t you talk to Grandma? She can help you run the -.”

 “No! She … she’s done enough. I … I can’t ask her to -.”

 “Would it help though? If she helped y’ out, would y’ feel better?”

 “I … I think ….” He sniffs. “I … think it would help ….”

 “Then I’ll go talk ta her, okay? I’m sure she won’t mind if she understands tha situation.”

 Pulling back, he stares at me. “Y-you … really think so?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Th-thank you.”

 “And we’ll make sure we help you out tonnes with Ashley, so you don’t feel so overwhelmed. So cheer up, okay?”

 James wipes at his eyes. “Y-you two are the best.”   

 “Yeah,” I chuckle, “I know.”

\-------------------------

 “I don’t think so somehow.”

 “B-but he’s really strugglin’ -.”

 “Yes, I know.”

 “Then -.”

 “If he needs help, he can tell me himself.”

 “B-but -.”

 “He isn’t a child anymore, Ronald. He is a grown man, with a child, perfectly capable of helping himself. The problem with that man is that he bottles all of his emotions up -.”

 “S-so, if he -?”

 “Gr-Grandma?”

 I turn around, see James standing there, rubbing at his eyes. He … he looks so pale, like he’s gonna faint on the spot.

 Grandma brushes past me, her hand going to the middle of James’ back as she guides him out of the room. “Yes, tell your grandmother what the matter is.”

 I stare out after them. He decided to speak to her himself?

 I guess he knew how she’d react ….

\---------------------------

 Everyone’s fussing over James now, especially Mom. He curls up against her – man … he looks so vulnerable right now.  

 “Oh, ya’ve gohhen so skinny, sweetie. Ya poor thing.”

 It’s like they hadn’t noticed he was struggling. But then … he never told anyone, and everyone’s so busy –

 “You think little big bro is gonna be okay?”

 My arm wraps around Emma’s waist, and I pull her into a side hug. “Yeah. He’ll be fine now.”

 He has the support of the whole family now. Of course he’s gonna be okay.

\------------------------

***6.23pm***

 “Where have you been?”

 Uh … Will looks pissed ….

 My hand finds the back of my head. “Eh … sorry. Family problems.”

 “Oh. Is everything alright?”

 “Yeah. James was a bit of a … mess, but I think he’ll be alright now.”

 “I see.”

 He … he still doesn’t seem very happy. “Is everythin’ alright?”

 A sigh comes from him. “Carmen is mad at you for being gone so long.”

 “Ah … shit.” I did promise I’d be back soon, didn’t I …? “I’ll go apologise.”

 His breath hitches. “Yes … good luck with that.”

 Is … is she really that mad? Crap ….

 I hurry into the living room. She’s just turned her back on me ….

 “Hey, Car -.”

 “No!” She scoots away from me.

 “Carmen, I’m really sorry. Uncle James was really sad, so -.”

 “No!”

 Damn, she really is pissed …. I sit down on the floor next to her. “I really am sorry. I’ll bring y’ wi’ me next time, okay?”

  She finally looks at me. “Asley?”

 “Yeah, I’ll take y’ ta see Ashely next time. I promise.”

 I get a smile. I think I’m forgiven. Mr Teddy is lifted up, waved in front of my face.

 She wants me to play with her. Yeah, defo forgiven.

 She’s always so forgiving.

 My daughter is a proper sweet little girl.

\---------------------

***Sunday 30th March***

***12.21pm***

 James was diagnosed with post-natal depression, but he’s getting better, slowly. Grandma has been helping with the business, so he can spend more time with Ashley, and the rest of the family has been there to help him take care of the little guy.

 And Shaun apologised for upsetting him. Turns out he was never mad at him; he just really, really wanted him to remember his baby coming into the world.

 He’s been super supportive through this whole ordeal. Great guy, real great guy, seriously.

 He really does love my little brother.

 “What’s this, Ashely?” Emma jingles her keys in front of his face. She can’t always be here because of modelling, but she does all she can. “Look, they’re all pink. Pretty!”

 Carmen reaches out, steals the keys from her. Bless.

 I’ve been making sure to bring her along as much as I can. Don’t want the little cutie to get mad at me again.

 “You’d make a really good Mom,” Shaun laughs.

 Emma scrunches up her nose. “No, thanks. I don’t have the time for that.” She takes one of Ashley’s hands, shakes it up and down gently. “I’m happy enough being an aunt.”

 “For now.”

 “Hah, I’m being serious!”

\---------------------

***Thursday 3rd April***

***8.13pm***

 “Carmen, don’t poke him.”

 “Pow … pow.”

 “No, no pokin’.”

 James chuckles, lifts Ashley to his shoulder, out the way of her fingers. It’s nice to hear him laugh again. And he’s looking a lot better, isn’t so gaunt and dark under his eyes. Mom’s been making sure he eats tonnes, is fattening him up a bit.

 And I think he’s starting to properly bond with Ashley. It’s great to see, it really is.

\-------------------

***Sunday 6th April***

***3.09pm***

 He puts Ashely down in his crib as I watch from the doorway. I wasn’t keeping an eye on him – we were just halfway through a convo when naptime came around.

 “Y’ alright?”

 He looks up at me, smiles. “You ask that way too much.”

 “Uh -.”

 “But yeah, I’m fine.”

 “Cool.”

 Good … good. 

 I’m so glad he’s getting better. I’m so fucking glad.


	9. William. Eeyore.

***Sunday 19th April 2037***

***12.07pm***

 “Apple.” Carmen reaches up. “Apple.”

 “Yes, yes, give me a moment.” The slices of apple are put into a bowl. “Let’s go into the living room, okay?”

 “Okay, Daddy.” She follows me in, sits down on the floor. Her hands reach up towards me. “Apple.”

 “Yes,” I smile, “okay.” The bowl is handed over. “Carmen, what do you say?”

 “Thank you.”

 Grabbing my current book, I sit down next to her.

 “Daddy? Want?”

 “Yes, thank you.” I take a piece. “Do you like it?” I found a variety of apple that Carmen hadn’t tried before.

 “Yumzies.”

 I wish Ronald wouldn’t teach her these non-words ….

 A bite is taken. “Yes, I quite agree.” It is rather sweet, succulent.

 I watch as she chews away.

 I cannot believe how quickly time has gone by. Carmen will be three in eight short days.

 It has just … flown by. Before I know it, she will be a teenager, an adult, and then ….

 And then she will have to choose between living out her days as a human, or –

 I … I sometimes wish we weren’t reapers, wish she could have a normal human life. As soon as humans come into the reaper realm ….

 That is not something I wish to think about ….

 It pains me immensely to –

 “Daddy?”

 “Y-yes?”

 My mind wandered quite a bit … didn’t it?

\----------------------

***Monday 20th April***

***9.34pm***

 “Carmen.”

 “Yeah?”

 “You are going to be three next week.”

 “Which means y’re a big girl now,” Ronald says. We have agreed that Carmen really must start sleeping in her own bed. We have tried with her a few times before, but she always starts to climb into bed with us again after a few days, that adorable face getting the best of us.  

 This time, we are determined to succeed. If she doesn’t learn to sleep on her own now, we will be battling with her until she is a teenager.

 “So, when you turn three, you have to start sleeping in your own bed, okay?”

 “Okay, Daddy.”

 That was easier than expected, maybe too easy ….

 “And no climbing into our bed in the middle of the night, okay?”

 She pouts at me. “Okay, Daddy.”

 “Is tha’ alright?” Ronald asks.

 We get a little nod. “Want cake.”

 A chuckle leaves me. “Yes, if you promise to sleep in your own bed, you can have birthday cake.”

 “I Promise.”

\---------------------

***10.05pm***

 Carmen has not long dozed off, has somehow managed to tuck herself awkwardly under my armpit.  

 “Hey … Will?”

 “Yes?”

 Ronald rolls over to face me. “Do y’ think she’s gonna be okay sleepin’ on her own?”

 “Not having you trying to squish her in your sleep? Yes, I think she will be fine.”

 “Yeah ….”

 His tone catches me off guard. “What is it?”

 “Nothin’ … really.”

 “Ronald, tell me.”

 “W-well … she used ta ge’ really upset as a baby when we put her in her crib.”

 “She did, yes, but she has been able to sleep on her -.”

 “N-no, I mean – Wha’ I’m tryin’ ta say is … wha’ if she remembers Talia dyin’? And she doesn’t wanna sleep alone because she was in her crib when all tha’ … shit happened?”

 “Even now, she cannot remember what she did a week ago.”

 “So -.”

 “She doesn’t remember her mother dying, Ronald, I can promise you that.”

 “C-cool.” A small laugh comes from him. “I … I was kinda worried she’d been traumatised … or somethin’.”

 Reaching a hand out, I take his. “She isn’t, I promise you.” I smile at him. “Just look at her. Does she look traumatised to you?”

 “N-na, na, she really doesn’t.” He squeezes my hand. “Sorry – I jus’ ge’ worried sometimes.”

 “You do not have to apologise. Worrying is a part of being a parent.”

 “Heh, y’ got tha’ right.” Another squeeze. “She’ll defo be okay, right?”

 “She will.” It may take a while for her to adjust, but she will be just fine, I am sure.

\---------------------

***Sunday 7th June***

***4.57pm***

 Carmen has done remarkably well with sleeping by herself. She did climb into our bed on Monday, as the summer storm had scared her. Neither I nor Ronald had the heart to send her back to her room, but we made sure she returned there the following night.

 She is growing up so very quickly ….   

 I pull on my coat, walk over to the door. Carmen slept over at Alan’s home last night, has spent most of the day there.

 It has been quite lovely, spending a quiet Sunday with Ronald. No … not so quiet, thanks to the dogs.

 I was sure that Ronald would stop bringing strays home after Carmen came into our lives, but last month, we had another new arrival.

 I would have complained, but Carmen was absolutely delighted.

 Time to re-open the zoo ….

\----------------

 I walk into the kitchen of Alan’s home, glance at Carmen. “Hel ….” What the heck? My eyebrow twitches. “Alan … please tell me why my daughter is eating a cookie.”

 “Oh -.”

 “You know I do not let her eat junk food. What -.”

 “I -.”

 “Now she will want to eat -.”

 “They’re oat cookies, yer idiot.”

 “Pardon?”

 “Eric’s right. It’s just oats and mashed up banana.”

 “Oh … I see ….”

 “I made a batch for Carmen to take with her actually. A few have chocolate chips in, but the rest are just cranberry and rai – Eric, don’t steal them -.”

 “Ah’m just having one.”

 I feel a tugging on my trousers, look down. “Say thank you, Daddy. Say thank you.”

 “Y-yes … yes, thank you, Alan. And I … apologise for … getting worked up.”

 Having to be taught basic manners, gratitude, by my three-year-old. I … I feel quite embarrassed ….

 Honestly, William, you should be the one setting such examples ….

 Alan smiles at me. “It’s okay. Actually, I was thinking that me and Carmen could start baking together? I have a few more healthy recipes in mind. You really enjoyed mashing the banana, didn’t up, Carmen?”

 “Yeah! Mash! Mash!”

 I cannot help but chuckle. “That sounds like a wonderful idea. What other recipes do you have in mind?”

 “There’s a carrot cake that I’ve made before. I’m pretty sure it’ll be easy to adapt.”

 “That sounds fantastic, doesn’t it, Carmen?”

 “Carrots nice.”

 “Yes, yes, they are.” How adorable.

 “Well – Eric!” He spins, folds his arms over his chest. “Stop it.”

 “Ack, sorry!” His hand hovers above the plastic tub. “They’re just so nice.”

 His frown fades. “I’ll make another batch later.”  

 “Ock, great!”

 I chuckle under my breath. Honestly, I am surrounded by children ….

\--------------------

***Wednesday 8th July***

***7.33am***

 Carmen steps out of her bedroom, a stuffed Eeyore trailing behind her.

 I am not a huge fan of her watching the television, much prefer her to play or draw, but she really does adore that old cartoon series. I really could not say no to her, have bought her as many DVDs as I can.

 She rubs at her eye with her spare hand. Attempting to get her out of bed proved a struggle. Not as much as trying to summon Ronald, as he still hasn’t gotten up, but still ... she must be rather tired. She usually gets out of bed as soon as I call.

 “D … Daddy, feel … poorly.”

 It clicks. That is the reason.

 I get to my knees in front of her. “You feel poorly?”

 “Yeah.”

 My hand goes to her forehead. She is quite warm. “Okay. Do you want to cuddle with Mommy?” I cannot take the day off, as much as I want to, but at least she can get a little more sleep.

 I will wake her up just before I take her to Eric for the day. Yes, I think that will be best. She will be much more comfortable if she stays in her nightclothes, I am sure.

 “Yeah.”

 “Okay.”

 “Mez?”

 “Pardon?”

 “Mez. Wanna … feel better.”

 “I ….” Oh, ‘meds’, of course. Now I see. “Yes, I will bring you some paracetamol.”

 “Thank you, Daddy.”

 I smile as I get to my feet, lift her up. “You are very welcome, Carmen.”

\-------------------

***8.55am***

 “Aww, did Ronnie give her his germs?” Eric chuckles.

 “Ashley has the sniffles, so it is probably that.” Though it would not surprise me, the state Ronald comes home in at times – ripped shirts, dirty trousers …. If I didn’t love him, I would call him into my office for looking a disgrace.

 “Ahhh, aye, makes sense.”

 “Uncie Eric, colddd.” She has her head slumped against his shoulder, looks as though she is about to fall asleep.

 “Ock, sorry, Lass. We’ll get yer inside, alright?”

 We bid goodbye quickly, for Carmen’s sake.

 After a day of napping, she will be fine, I am sure.

\---------------------

***Thursday 9th July***

***10.21am***

 Carmen was quite ill last night, is still no better. It is a little concerning, but thankfully, it is my day off, so I can be the one to take her to the doctor. It is nothing antibiotics cannot fix, I am sure.

 I will be forever grateful to Grell for obtaining fake adoption paperwork from an acquaintance. Without that important document, we would not have been able to get her vaccinated, nor would we have been able to register her at this doctor’s surgery.

 I glance up at the screen. Our appointment is in five minutes, thank goodness. Carmen seems quite agitated ….

\---------------

***10.53am***

 I feel a sharp tug on my trouser leg. “Home!”

 “We will be going home soon, Carmen.”

 “Now! Home! Now!”

 My brow furrows. “Carmen, do not shout. We are in pub -.”

 “Wanna go home!”

 I am taken aback by the angry look on her face. “Carmen -.”

 “Now!”

 “We need to get your antibiotics first.”

 “No! Now!”

 “Carmen, stop it,” I whisper sharply. “You are being naughty.” Other customers are beginning to stare …. “We cannot go home yet, do you understand?”

 She hits the ground, her feet and fists slamming – is … is she having a tantrum?

 I pick her up, try to calm her.

 Screaming and crying fill my ears. “Carmen, stop this at once.”

 “Home!”

 “We are not going home. Now stop it.”

 Everyone … everyone is glaring at me, judging me as a terrible parent.

 “Carmen -.”

 “Carmen Spears!”

 Oh, thank goodness. “Yes.”

 The prescription bag is handed over, the pharmacist giving me a bewildered look.

 My daughter is still shrieking, causing an awful scene.

 “S-sorry.”

 I dart from the business as quickly as I can, never to show my face there again.

 How … how embarrassing ….


	10. Ronald. Sweeties aren't so innocent.

***5.22pm***

 “And she just would not stop screaming. I have never seen – oh, I hope this isn’t the start of a naughty stage.”

 “It isn’t.” I look down at my little girl. She’s curled up awkwardly on my lap, head resting on my gut. “She’s jus’ cranky because she’s poorly.”

 “Are you quite sure?” Heh, he looks right panicked.

 “Yeah. Remember how cranky I used ta ge’ when I was ill?”

 “I do.”

 “Well then. She’ll be fine once she feels a bit better.”

 “Hopefully.” He looks away from me. “Still … I will never be able to show my face in that chemist again.”

 “Hah, yeah. She totally showed y’ up.”

 Rubbing at his head, he sighs. “Yes, I know ….”

\-------------------

***Friday 10th July***

***7.10pm***

 Carmen’s still not very well, but she’s a lot better than she was yesterday. Trying to get her to wake up so she could take her meds was a right pain.

 My palm presses against the top of her leg. They always get super hot when she’s under the weather, even hotter than her forehead. They’re starting to cool down now though, so that’s good. The antibiotics are defo working.

 She shifts on my chest. “Daddy.”

 Will looks over at us. “Yes?”

 “Sorry.”

 “Sorry?” His eyebrow lifts. “What are you sorry for?”

 “Naughty.”

 “Y’ talkin’ ‘bout yesterday mornin’?” I ask.

 “Yeah. Sorry, Daddy.”

 Will smiles. “It is alright, Carmen. Just don’t do it again, okay? It isn’t nice to shout.”

 “Okay.”

 Reaching over, he rubs her back. “Do you want something to eat?”

 “Yeah.”

 “What would you like?”

 “Chicken nug nugs.”

 Will looks at me, like he’s thinking ‘why did I ask?’ Heh, well maybe if he didn’t make them from scratch ….   

 “Alright. I’ll have to go out to buy some of the ingredients, so it might take a while, okay?”

 “Okay.” She fidgets a bit on me, to get comfy, I think. “Sleep.”

 “Y’ tired?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Wanna go ta bed until dinner’s ready?”

 “Please, Mommy.”

 “Okay.”

 Yeah … I really don’t think she’s going through a naughty stage.

 She’s still my little angel.

\--------------------

***Saturday 15th August***

***10.27am***

 “Carm ….” I look around me – where’s she gone? “Carmen?”

 A giggling sound – I spin around, spot her. “There y’ are!” She’s sitting on the kitchen counter. “How’d y’ ge’ up there?” Leaning forward, I lift her up, put her back on the floor. “Y’ givin’ Mommy tha run around?”

 I swear Grell comes in when I’m not looking, plonks her in random places to screw with me. Or maybe it’s Eric – na, probably Grell.

 Unless she got up there herself ….

 Doesn’t seem likely, but she is mischievous sometimes, hiding my work shoes in random places, little shit like that.

 Heh, just like her mommy.

\----------------------

***Sunday 23rd August***

***2.02pm***

 “We’re back, Darlings!” Grell grins.

 “Welcome back,” Will says as he puts his book down.

 “Did y’ ‘ave a nice time?”

 “I would say so, judging by all of those bags.”

 Heh, true. She is pretty weighed down. But she always is when she comes back from clothes shopping with Carmen.

 “We had a wonderful time! Didn’t we, Carmen?”

 “Yeah!”

 “Y’ gonna show us wha’ Auntie Grell bought y’?”

 “Yeah!”

 Aww, she always gets so excited when it’s time for her fashion show. Bless.

\------------------------

 Carmen does a little spin.

 “Tha’ dress is really pretty.”

 To be fair, everything Grell buys her looks so adorable. She spoils our daughter rotten – no, they all do.

 Heh, lucky kid.

 I … I wish my childhood had been nice like this – na … doesn’t matter now. It just makes me wanna make her childhood that much better.

 “Should we show them the blue dress next?”

 “Okay.” She pouts. “But I like this one best.”

 “You can wear that one as soon as we show them the rest.”

 “Okay.”

 I smile as her hands grip the dress.

 She really does love wearing dresses over anything else, even if they do get in the way during playtime.

 So adorable.

\------------------------

***Tuesday 1st September***

***8.32am***

 Ugh! Stupid comb!

 “Ow! Mommy!”

 “Sorry, sorry.”

 “Hurt!”

 “I know, I’m sorry.” I can’t see her face because she’s got her back turned to me, but I know she’s pouting.

 This happens most mornings, the comb getting stuck, no matter how careful I am. Her hair’s just so thick – it’s a right pain to get through.

 We’ve had to learn a lot of new skills since having a daughter – braiding hair, painting her nails, picking clothes that kinda match so Grell doesn’t kill us.

 Yeahhhh, we’re superheroes.

 Ah, shit –

 “Owww! Mommyyy!”

 “Sorry!”

 Okay, okay, I think I can start braiding it in a sec so she can see where the hell she’s going.

 She really is proper good. I couldn’t sit still for so long ….

 ….

 Ah! Fuck!

 The comb broke ….

\---------------------

***Saturday 12th September***

***3.13pm***

 “You think?” James sips on his tea. “Meh ….”

 We’re just chilling while Carmen and Ashley play outside with Mom.

 “Yeah, totally.”

 “Pfft, no.” It took a while, but he’s back to his usual self now, telling me to fuck off whenever I get on his nerves. So … most of the time.

 “Yeah, I’m tellin’ y’ -.”

 “Mommy!”

 I look over as Carmen comes rushing up to me, Ashley toddling behind her. “Hey -.”

 “Mommy! There’s little people outside!”

 Huh? “Little people?”

 “Yeahh! With wings! They talked to me! They were really nice!”

 What? “Are y’ sure?”

 “Yeah! So pretty!”

 “Mom -.”

 “I saw her talking to someone by the ‘edges, but I didn’t see a thing.”

 James sits back in his seat. “Ashley, did you see them too?”

 The little guy nods up at him.

 My brother cusses under his breath. “Great … first reapers, and now fairies.”

 What the hell? “Fairies?”

 His phone is scooped up. He taps on it, then shows the screen to Carmen. “Is this what you saw?”

 “Kinda. Brighter!”

 That’s super weird …. “Wha’ did they say ta y’?”

 “They keep the garden happy.”

 That really is odd …. “Are y’ sure? Y’ defo saw little people?”

 “Yeah! They floated around!”

 So, so weird …. I know kids have big imaginations, but I don’t think she’s making it up. My little girl doesn’t lie.

 I hear Grandma laugh, look over at her. “What’s so funny?”

 “Molly used to say the exact same thing when she was quite young. It used to drive us crazy.”

 “Really?” Mom frowns. “I don’t remember that at all.”

 “Of course you wouldn’t. You were only tiny.”

 Mom saw the same thing … decades ago?

 That’s so fucking weird ….

\---------------------

***5.23pm***

 “Don’t be silly, Ronald. Fairies aren’t real.”

 “They might be. Y’ never -.”

 “I think if they were, reapers would know of their existence.”

 I rub at the back of my head. “Yeah … well, maybe we can’t see them?”

 Will frowns at me. “Pardon?”

 “Well, Mom was in tha garden wi’ them and she didn’t see anythin’. Maybe only little kids can see them?” I did a web search on fairies, and a few blogs said only kids ever see them.

 He shakes his head – hey, don’t laugh at me! “You have such a wild imagination, Ronald.”

 “It’s not my imagination. I think she’s tellin’ tha truth.”

 “Of course she is.” Chuckling, he walks off into the kitchen.

 “Yeah, well, we’ll see,” I mutter.

 If Mom saw the exact same thing when she was little, it must be true.

 There’s gotta be something out in that garden that I just can’t see ….

\----------------

***Saturday 3rd October***

***12.13pm***

 Carmen keeps talking about the little people, even pointed over to them when I was out in Grandma’s garden with her. I didn’t see anything though, which is hella annoying. If there are little things flying about, I wanna see them.

 Oh well … no point thinking about it now. Need to get ready to go out with Jay in a bit.

 Man … it’s been a while.

\---------------------

***1.04pm***

 Oh man, this cake looks so good! Jay sure picked a good café to go to. I look over at his plate – that’s one sexy looking chicken baguette.

 Something catches my eye in the sunlight. “Uh … is tha’ a grey hair?”

 “Sh-shut up!” He clamps his hands over his head. “I don’t know what you expect. I’m getting old.”

 “Heh, yeah.” Hang on …. “Y’ been workin’ out again? Y’ look kinda hench.”

 Laughing, he drops his hands. “Where have you been for the past six months?”

 “Heh, sorry. Tha kiddies ‘ave been keepin’ me busy.” The fork is picked up. Man, I can’t wait! “Y’re lookin’ super good though.”

 “Thanks. Still, I wish I could go to a real gym.”

 “Eh … y’re not goin’ ta a gym?” It sure looks like he is.

 “No. I’ve got a weight room set up at home. It’s been alright, but I could do with heavier weights now.”

 “Go ta one then.”

 “I would … but I don’t really fancy spending any more time in the human world than I have to, if I’m honest. And even if I wanted to, it’d be a pain -.”

 “Wha’re y’ talkin’ ‘bout? There are gyms in tha reaper world too.”

 “What?” He looks kinda shocked. “What use would reapers have for a gym?”

 “It helps wi’ stress, I guess. I know Eric goes sometimes ta throw tha weights around when he’s pissed off. Hey, I could ask him ta take y’ sometime?”

 “That’d be great, thanks.” He sits back in his seat. “I just hope the weights don’t get thrown my way.”

 “Heh, y’ll jus’ ‘ave ta learn ta duck.”

 He snorts at the joke. “True.”

 “Yeah. Want a bit of cake before I eat it all?” I can’t wait another sec to eat this yummy looking thing.

 “No, thanks. My metabolism isn’t as fast as it used to be.”

 Hah, he says that … but that sandwich is huge!

\-------------------

***Sunday 11th October***

***4.06pm***

 “So … how did it go?” Eric took him to the gym a few days ago, but I haven’t had a spare minute to catch up with him until now.

 “Um … it was alright.”

 Oh. He doesn’t sound very happy. “Jus’ alright?”

 “Well … everyone could lift three times as much as me ….”

 “Yeahh, because they’re reapers, silly.”

 “Yeah ….” He slumps back against the sofa cushions. “Guess it doesn’t matter. I’ll be catching up soon.”

 “Hah, yeah, right. Y’ -.”

 “I’m being serious.”

 His … his tone …. Oh …. “Jay ….”

 “There’s no helping it, I guess. I’m getting older now, so ….” I hear him chuckle. “I doubt Evan would want to get into bed with some saggy old man.”

 I could see this coming ….

 Doesn’t make it any easier to talk about though ….

 “Y’ … y’ shouldn’t do it for him -.”

 “I’m not.” He looks down at his hands. “But … I know I won’t be around forever … and I already spent years without him. I don’t want to leave him.”

 I grab hold of one of his hands. “Is this really wha’ y’ want?”

 “Yes. I … I love him – I can’t bear the thought of ….”

 “I understand.” I understand completely. As soon as you get with a reaper, your fate is kinda sealed …. “‘Ave y’ spoken ta Evan ‘bout this?”

 “Briefly. I’ll sit him down properly tonight.”

 “R-right.”

 “Hey, don’t look so worried.”

 “I -.”

 “It won’t be for a while anyway. I need to beef up first if I’m going to be stuck in this body forever.”

 “I’m not worried. W-well, not exactly. I mean, I’m glad I’m gonna be stuck wi’ y’ forever ... but,” I squeeze his hand, “jus’ be careful, okay?”

 “Be careful?”

 “Y-yeah. I don’t want y’ ta end up in a bad way if tha first try doesn’t work.”

 “Ah – no, I’ll … I’ll make sure it works.” I flinch at a laugh. “Well … I think it’s time to change the subject, yeah? You want something to eat?”

 “Yeah, please.”

 Man ….

 I mean, I’m happy that he’s gonna be sticking around … but jeez, this is gonna be a big change for him.

 I … I dunno if he’ll get used to being a reaper ….

\----------------------

***Sunday 25th April 3038***

***1.22pm***

 Jay did it. He’s a … reaper now. I didn’t ask him how he did it, didn’t wanna know … because I have a soft spot for the guy. I didn’t really wanna think about that ….

 He seems happy though, looks like he’s adjusting super well.

 Still … it’s taking some getting used to – he doesn’t look like himself with the glasses and weird eye colour.

 Heh, good job I’ve got centuries to try to wrap my head around it.

 “Mommy! Mommy! Come play!”

 Huh? Oh man … I was in my own world then ….

 I get up, follow her out into the garden.

 She turns four in a couple of days, but because we’re all at work on Tuesday, we’ve held a birthday party sorta thing for her today.

 Wow … four.

 I swear she turned three just last week ….

\------------------------

***4.37pm***

 The party is winding down now, everyone about to leave. Man … that was super tiring. Carmen was like a puppy on coffee, she was so excited.

 “Carmen!” Eric calls.

 She jumps off my lap, hurries up to him.

 He pulls something from behind his back. “Yer want some sweeties?”

 Wh-what?

**_“Here you, go, sweet cheeks, I know how much you like sweeties.”_ **

 N-no –

**_“You want some sweeties, cutie?”_ **

 No!

 “Stay tha fuck away from her!”   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will be taking a week or so break to catch up on another fic, so leave me some nice comments in the meantime. Please? O.o


	11. William. Please don't make me choose.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. I've had to write Mom's CV as she's being made redundant, and I'm helping her apply for jobs. It'll probably be another week until the next update, because I'm at work a lot, and have meetups to go to and stuff. Bear with me! xD

***5.48pm***

 “Ronald, Ronald, it is alright.”

 He clings to me, sobs against my neck.

 Is it … alright?

 I … I am still in shock. He … he just began shouting and swearing at Eric for no –

 No, no, not for no reason.

 He had a flashback, about that man who gave him sweeties … the wretch ….  

 I understand his pain, I do … but the way he acted ….

 Eric was completely baffled by the onslaught of anger and slurs … embarrassed, and Carmen ….

 She … she just stood there between them, her confusion turning to upset.

 She cried. Oh … did she cry ….

 I have never seen my child so distraught.

 It … it killed me to leave her with the in-laws, but I hadn’t a choice. Ronald looked as if he were about to hit Eric. I grabbed him before he was able, and now we are here ….

 We have been here for over an hour, and he ... he will just not calm down.

 “Ronald, calm down. Come on, that is enough.”

 “Don’t say tha’!”

 I am shoved away, my back hitting the arm of the couch. “Ron -.”

 “Don’t tell me it’s enough! Because it’s not!”

 “I -.”

 “Y’ don’t understand! It never goes away!” He hides his face in his hands. “It ... it n-never goes away ….”

 “I … I know. I’m sorry.” That was insensitive of me …. I reach out tentatively, pull him close when he doesn’t fight back. “I’m sorry.”

 He curls up against me, his cries breaking my heart.

 It will never go away completely ….

 I have always known that … and it has terrified me.

 He has done extraordinarily well, but there has always been a niggling worry in the back of my mind … that he may start to unravel again.

 I fell in love with Carmen the moment I saw her, but even then, as ... as I was holding her for the first time, I had my concerns.

 It … it was a difficult enough situation when it was just the two of us.

 Bringing a child into – we are responsible for another life now.

 It … it is not only Ronald who will suffer –

 Oh, I was afraid that something like this would –

 No … no, William, do not be silly.

 It is a little fumble, nothing more.

 He has been through a lot. One big upset in years is nothing to worry about.

 I … I must not forget that he still has nightmares from time to time, still cries in his sleep occasionally, did ... even when Carmen was sleeping right next to him, and he has been fine.

 He has been fine.

 He will be fine. Once he has calmed down, he will be back to his cheery self.

 Of course he will be.

 ….

 Still, I ... I cannot quell this anxiety.

 Oh … how are we going to explain all this to Carmen?

\-------------------

***6.21pm***

 “E-Eric’s never gonna forgive me.” Ronald hiccups, his face hidden behind his hands.

 “He -.”

 “He probably hates me!”

 “No, no, of course he doesn’t.” I reach out. He lets me pull his hands away from his face. “It probably came as quite the shock, but if you explain the situation, he will understand.”

 “N-na, na, I was really nasty ta – shit! Shit … I … I ruined Carmen’s birthday party.”

 “You -.”

 “Sh-she was havin’ a proper good time, and … and I jus’ – I fucked tha whole day up.”

 “Of course you didn’t. And honestly, I really doubt that is what ... upset her.”

 “Wh-wha’?”

 “She just wants you to be okay.” I squeeze one of his hands. “She only got upset because she could see that you were upset.”

 “R-really? She doesn’t h-hate me?”

 “Of course not. She could never hate you, Ronald.”

 “K-kay.”

 “But we do need to explain -.”

 “No!” His hands are ripped from mine. “I … I can’t …. I jus’ ... I  jus’ wanna go ta bed.”

 Is he joking? Our daughter is distraught and he wants to run off to bed? “We cannot just leave -.”

 “I-I’m a mess, Will. If she sees me l-like this, what’s she gonna think?”

 Oh … he does have a point ….

 “I need a b-bit longer ta c-calm down, okay?”

 “Y-yes, of course.”

 Why … why did I become so angry just now?

 It isn’t his fault. He really cannot help it.

 Honestly, William ….

 I do wonder whose nerves truly need calming. His … or mine?

 “W-Will?”

 I – when did he stand up? Oh … he is shaking like a leaf … just like he did ... all those years ago ….

 “Yes, I am coming.” I stand up also, my arm wrapping around his trembling form. He is guided up the stairs.

 We get into bed, a little awkwardly, as he is clinging to me again. The covers are pulled up. “Try to get some rest.”

 “O-okay.” He curls into my side.

 I … I can feel his cries again, silent wet against my skin.

 I hug him tightly. “It is alright, Ronald. It is alright.”

 Still … if everything is alright … why is my stomach filled with such unease?

\--------------------

***7.43pm***

 I glance over at the clock. It has been three hours since we left the birthday party. Ronald is asleep at my side, has me in a deathly grip.

 I do not want to leave him, but the image of Carmen crying will not leave my mind. Oh, I hope she has not been crying since we left … yet I know she probably has been. She loves her mother more than anything.

 Honestly, I … I have never met someone with so much love to give.

 I have to comfort her before this horrid ache in my heart grows any stronger.

 Carefully, I untangle my body from Ronald’s, climb out of bed.

 My foot hovers – he is …. I turn back around – yes, he is tossing and turning ….

 Oh, Ronald ….

 “Ron ….”

 Oh, Ronald … please don’t cry ….

 But his crying only becomes louder, more ... more painful as he thrashes about, tangles himself further in the covers.

 “Ronald, I … I have to -.”

 No.

 I cannot just leave him … when he is in such a state.

 Carmen at least has family to comfort her at present ... but if I go, he will suffer through this alone.  

 I cannot do that to him. 

 I get back into bed, pull him close. My fingers run through his hair. “D-don’t cry, Ronald. Please don’t cry.”

 I hate to see you cry.


	12. William. Precious.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk what's going on right now, but I'm feeling super sick all the time. Bleugh.

***9.33pm***

 Ronald fiddles with his hands. He woke up in a better mood, but he does look drained. “I … I dunno wha’ ta say ta her.”

 “I … think it would be wise to tell her -.”

 “Wha’? Tha truth?” I am given a dirty look. “We can’t -.”

 “Not the full truth, obviously. But if we lie to her, she will find out eventually.”

 “G ... good point. Y-yeah, lyin’ never gets us anywhere.” He rubs at his head. “Wha’ y’ got in mind?”

 “That you had a nightmare while you were awake.”

 “And … and when she asks w-why?”

 “I will say it is because someone hurt you when you were younger. I won’t give her the details.” Not that a four-year-old would understand such atrocities even if I did ….

 “Y-yeah, yeah, tha’ might work.” Reaching over, he grabs my hand. “O-okay, we’ll go … wi’ tha’.”

 I give his hand a gentle squeeze. “Shall I go get her now?”

 “Yeah, please.”

 “Okay.”

 “Th-thanks.”

\---------------

 I teleport into the living room. Molly hurries up to me. “Is Ronnie okay?”

 “Yes, he has calmed down now.”

 A soft breath is let out. “Good.” She leans in close, whispers in my ear. “Carmen’s still a lil upset.”

 “Yes … I know.” I have been watching her since I came here. She isn’t crying … but she is pushing her Eeyore toy back and forth across the floor slowly … silently. I can tell from looking at her that she is down.

 Not coming to greet me says it all.

 I walk up to her, bend down at her side. She looks at me, and the words catch in my throat. She … she looks so sad.

 “Is Mommy okay?”

 “Y-yes, yes, he is feeling much better now.”

 She rubs at her eyes. “Why was he crying?”

 I can feel Molly’s eyes on me. Picking Carmen up, I stand, offer a smile. “He has nightmares when he is awake sometimes. He started shouting because he was scared, but he is fine now.”

 “Are Mommy and Uncie friends?”

 “Yes, they are fine.” Or ... they will be as soon as Ronald speaks to him.

 “Daddy … why does Mommy have nightmares?”

 “Well -.”

 “Ya see, Carmen … when Ronnie was lil, bad men took ‘im away from me and ‘urt ‘im. He ‘as nightmares sometimes, feels like he’s back with the bad men, and that scares ‘im.”

 “Took him away?”

 “Yes. They stole ‘im away from me. He didn’t see ‘is family for years.”

 “Why?”

 “Because they were bad people.”

 Carmen looks up at me, tears – “Carmen, why are you crying?”

 “The bad people hurt Mommy! It … it makes me sad.”

 “Don’t be sad, sweetie.” Molly reaches up, touches Carmen on the shoulder. “It’s okay.”

 “But -.”

 “The bad people can’t hurt him now,” I assure her.

 “That’s right, Carmen. Even though he gehs a bit sad sometimes, he’s super ‘appy now.”

 “You make him happy.” I smile at her.

 “I do?”

 “Yes, you do, so stop crying, okay?”

 She smiles back, rubs at her eyes. “Okay, Daddy. Daddy, I wanna give Mommy a big hug.”

 Oh, that is precious. “I think he would like that very much.”

\----------------

 “Mommy!” Carmen clambers onto the bed.  

 “Hey, Kiddo.” A soft smile appears on his lips as her arms squeeze around his neck. “Hey ….”

 “You feeling better, Mommy?”

 “Yeah, I am.” He hugs her back tightly. “I … I’m sorry for wreckin’ y’ birthday party.”

 “You didn’t! It was great, Mommy.” I knew she would never be mad at him.

 “Yeah?” The worry seems to drain from his face. “Did y’ ‘ave lots of fun?”

 “Yeah.”

 “And tha cake was good, wasn’t it?” He beams.

 “Yumzies!”

 “Yeah, it really was.”

 “Mommy … can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

 Oh … that is so lovely, wishing to be there to make sure her mother is alright. We exchange a glance.

 “Course y’ can.”

 What a precious child we both have.

\------------------

***10.49pm***

 Carmen is fast asleep, wedged awkwardly between myself and Ronald. She told him that she would keep him safe from the bad men as she was falling asleep. I could tell that those words affected him, melted his heart. Mine also – it was very sweet.  

 Ronald texted Alan, told him he would be over first thing in the morning to explain everything. He –

 “Wha’ did y’ tell her?”

 I look over at him. “About why you were upset?”

 “Y-yeah.”

 I sit up in bed. “That you have nightmares while awake, and -.”

 “Tha bad men?”

 “Your mother told her that the bad men took you from her, hurt you when you were a child. We didn’t go into detail.” I can see the worry etched on his face.

 “B-but she’ll ask, won’t she? Sh-she’ll wanna know everythin’. She -.”

 “We will tell her that you were hit and kicked … and nothing more.” Reaching out a hand, I take his. “She is not yet old enough to understand, so try not to worry.”

 “R-right.” He squeezes my hand. “S-sorry.”

 “Sorry?”

 “I … I guess I jus’ don’t want her ta … know ‘bout all tha h-horrible stuff … tha’ goes on.”

 “Neither do I … but she will learn the truth eventually.” Or Grell will tell her ….

 “Y-yeah, I know …. I … I’ll tell her myself when tha time’s right … somehow.” He smiles at me. “It … it was proper sweet, wasn’t it? Givin’ me hugs ta make me feel better.”

 He is obviously trying to change the subject, but still … “it was. She really does love you, Ronald.”

 “I know.” He settles down in bed, a soft sigh coming from him. “I know.”

\------------------------

***11.33pm***

 Ronald cusses as he sits up in bed. “Fuckin’ hell.” Bending forward, he rubs at his head.

 “Ronald -?”

 “I … I need ta talk ta Eric, apologise.”

 “You -.”

 “I can’t wait until tomorrow. I … I jus’ wanna make up already.”

 I nod. It probably would be better to sort things out tonight. If not, I doubt Ronald or Eric will be getting any sleep tonight. “Should I call them to let -?”

 “N-na, na, I’ll jus’ go over now.” He gets out of bed. “Thanks though.” He hurries to the door, only to stop, turn around to face me. “H-he’ll forgive me, right?”

 “Of course he will. In all honesty, he is probably more concerned than angry.”

 “Yeah, yeah … probably.” He manages a smile. “Well, here goes nothin’.”

 I blink, and he is out the door. As I lay back down in bed, I reach a hand out, lay it on Carmen’s hair. It truly is amazing, has a mind of its own.

 I smile to myself. Ronald really has come a long way.

 He would never have gone out to face his problems like this before.

 I really am proud of him, so very proud.

 I … I think I was worrying for nothing ….

 At least, I hope that is the case ….

 My stomach still feels rife with concern ….


	13. Ronald. Something is coming?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secret stash - the junk food Ronald keeps at his friends' homes so he can pig out at theirs when he isn't hiding up in his room.  
> Carmen calls Martha and Ronald Grandma and Grandpa, even though they are greats.

 I walk up to the door. I … I didn’t wanna just port in there, in case they were sleeping – probably not … but it’s still kinda rude. They’re probably already annoyed – na … na, Will said Eric’s just worried about me.

 But what if –

 Agh! Calm down!

 The … the sooner I speak to him, the sooner I’ll know for sure.

 Y-yeah, yeah –

 No … no use just standing here worrying like an idiot.

 Okay … okay ….

 I knock on the door. Shit! The … the dogs are barking. If … if I’ve woken them up, they’re gonna be so –

 The door swings open. The worry drains outta me. Al doesn’t look pissed at all, is giving me a warm smile.

 Thank fuck ….

 “Hi.”

 “H-hey.”

 “Are you … feeling better?”

 “Yeah, a lot better, thanks.” Yeah, he’s defo not mad. He just wants me to be alright.

 “Good.”

 “Yeah. Is … is Eric alright?”

 “He’s okay.”

 “Is he … mad at me?”

 “Oh, no, no, he isn’t angry.” There’s a but coming …. I can see it written all over his face.

 “But?”

 “He’s … worried that you think he’s a perv -.”

 “Wha’?” The fuck?! “I … I’d never think -.”

 “I know, but you know how he gets. He’s been driving me mad today with his worrying.”

 “I … I’m really sorry.”

 “It’s okay. I know you -.”

 “Al?” I hear Eric’s voice come from upstairs. “Who is it?”

 “Ronnie,” he calls back.

 I blink, and … and he’s right behind Al. “H-hey.”

 “Hey. Yer … want tae come in?”

 “Y-yeah.” I follow him into the living room. “I -.”

 “Ah … ah’d never do anything tae Carmen. Never, ah promise.”

 “I … I know. I -.”

 “Ah mean it. Ah love that kid, wouldn’t lay – ah’m not some pedo -.”

 “Eric, I know. I know y’d never hurt my kid. And … and I’m sorry for shoutin’ at y.” I really freaked him out …. “I … I didn’t mean wha’ I said. Not a word of it.”

 “R-right,” he gives me a smile, “ah … ah knew that. Ah was just fretting over nothing like a prat, aye?”

 “Heh ... yeah. So … we’re still friends, right?” I give him a smile, hoping I’ll get a yes.

 “Ock, lad, of course we are.”

 “Goo-.”

 “But can ah ask yer something?”

 “Yeah, s-sure.”

 “What was it ah did that upset yer?”

 “Oh.” My hands clench. I … I really don’t wanna think about that … but I … I do owe him an explanation. “Tha … tha sweeties.”

 “Sweeties?”

 Has Al been here the whole time?

 “Y-yeah. One … one of tha guys who was involved … in … in all tha shit back then … used ta offer me sweeties. It … it still h-hurts ta think ‘bout, y’ know?” D-don’t get upset. Don’t …. “And … and wi’ havin’ Carmen now – I’m … I’m scared something’s gonna happen and I … I’ll spend my life blamin’ myself like … like Mom did.”

 “Nothing is going tae – ock, don’t cry, Lad.” I’m pulled into a hug. “Ah didn’t mean tae upset yer again.”

 “Y’ … y’ didn’t.” Fuck …. I hide against his shoulder. Why … why can’t I just pull myself together? “It … it’s jus’ been a rough day, y’ know?”

 “Aye, ah -.”

 “And I … I think I’m doin’ so well, but … but sometimes, it … it jus’ piles on top of me and I can’t … can’t take it.”

 “That’s understandable -.”

 “But it doesn’t mean you aren’t doing amazingly, because you are. We all have bad days.”

 “Y-yeah.” He … he’s right.

 I feel his arms squeeze me tighter. “Tell yer what. We’ll go raid yer secret stash and sit down for a wee bit, alright?”

 I nod against him. “S-sounds good. Y’ … y’ think I’ve still got some milkshakes in tha fridge?”

 “Aye, ah think so.”

 “You have.”

 “C-cool.”

\-------------------

***Monday 26th April***

***12.04am***

 I … I keep spacing out. There’s a really pretty painting leaning against the bottom of the wall. It’s not finished yet … but it’ll be amazing when it is.

 “Y’ … painted tha’, right?”

 “Yep. I’ve been meaning to finish it, but it’s been sitting there for the past few weeks.”

 Is has? I never noticed. Life is so hectic these days ….

 “Ronnie?”

 “Yeah?” I take my eyes off the painting, look at him.

 “Did you mention that man to us before? The sweets ring a bell.”

 “Y-yeah … maybe.” Probably. I really dunno. So much happened back then, I can’t remember.

 I should probably be heading back home –

 A … a bit longer. I need a bit longer.  

 Fuck … why … why am I so shaky?

\----------------

***12.33am***

 He’s still up? Yeah … course he is. Bless ….

 “Did everything go well?”

 “Y-yeah, it did. Eric forgives me.” I laugh – fuck … it sounds so forced.

 “Are you alright?” He noticed …. “You sound upset.”

 “It … it’s jus’ been a long day.” I kick my shoes off, climb into bed. “I’m jus’ emotionally drained, y’ know?” Being so happy about the birthday party one minute and then – I feel wrecked ….

 “Understandably.”

 “Yeah. I’ll be fine after I ge’ some sleep.” I just need to shut my mind off for a bit, and I’ll be alright.

 Lying down, I lift Carmen onto my chest. Mommy needs a cuddle right now.

 She wriggles around, then settles again. Once she’s out, she doesn’t wake back up again, the sleepy head.

 Yeah … I’ll be okay. It … it’s been a long night, but as long as I have my friends, my family, things will be alright.

 Everything’s gonna be just fine.

\-------------------

***5.03pm***

 I woke up in a better mood this morning. Had a dead arm though, because I woke up with Carmen flat out on top of it. I must have rolled her off of me in the night.

 My coat is pulled on. Eric wanted to go out for drinks tonight, just to make extra sure things were smoothed out … I think. I told him I couldn’t stay out late because of it being Carmen’s birthday tomorrow, so I’m going straight from work.

 I hope she doesn’t miss me too much ….

\-----------------

 “Married life is such a bore at times.” Grell’s finger circles the top of the wine glass. “I love Olly, but he really is so dull at times. Our relationship was never so bland before. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing in marrying him.”

 “Ock, of course yer did -.”

 “He’s never been the most romantic, but we never do anything anymore. Never! I feel he loves his work more than I.”

 “Tha’ isn’t true.” And I don’t think she means it … think she’s just frustrated, and has had one too many glasses of wine.

 “Of course he loves yer.”

 “Hn.”

 “Ah’ll give him a nudge in the right direction, alright? Tell him yer’re feeling a wee bit neglected.”

 “You really are the best, Darling.” With a flutter of the eyelashes, she grins at him. “How lucky I am to have a gentleman such as you in my life.”

 Eric chuckles. “Gentleman my arse.” He takes a sip of his pop. “But, yer know, if yer’re bored in the meantime, get yerself a puppy. That’ll keep yer -.”

 “I have my cats.”

 “Oh, aye, and yer’re bored.”

 “I am fine with -.”

 “Pups are so much better.”

 “Well, I think cats are marvellous creatures.”

 “Oh, aye, pissing up everything. Sounds grand.”

 I watch as they argue back and forth about cats verses dogs. Heh, the oldest, most important argument in the world.

 Seems to be cheering Grell up though, distracting her.

 Oh ....

 Was that his plan?

 Yeah … seems like. Heh, clever.

 It’s proper sweet to see, him cheering her up like that.  

 They really are super close.

\-----------------

***11.59pm***

 Carmen was happy to see me when I got back home at half eight. I would have been back even sooner, but the wine had gone to Grell’s head, and we had to take her home. She grabbed hold of Olly as soon as she touched the living room carpet, carted him upstairs.

 Yeahhh, I think she’ll be fine.

 “Tha pictures in these books are really pretty.” We’re up a bit later than normal, wrapping her presents. She had a couple of little bits during her birthday party, but Will wanted her to have the rest on the proper day.

 “They are?”

 “Yeah.” I hand one of them over.

 “Oh, they are beautiful.”  

 “Y’ think she’ll love them?”

 “Yes,” he smiles, “I think she will cherish these for years to come. You chose well.”

 “Heh, I did, didn’t I?” Feeling a bit smug right now.

 We finish wrapping the presents, pile them up on the floor with the ones everyone else got her. Grell bought a Pandora bracelet for her. I know it’s pretty and all, but they’re expensive and she’s only little, is gonna end up breaking it. Maybe just for special occasions then.

 “Y’ think she’s gonna be excited when she sees all these?”

 He smiles at me. “Yes, definitely.” His watch is glanced at. “We should head to bed. It is getting late.”

 “I … I dunno if I’ll be able ta sleep.”

 He frowns at me. “Is something troubling you?”

 “Na,” I laugh, rub at the back of my head, “I’m jus’ super excited myself.”

 “Oh.” I hear him chuckle quietly. “You really are an oversized child, Ronald.”

 “Heh, I know.”

\--------------------

***Tuesday 27th April***

***5.22pm***

 She really was super excited, so happy with her presents. The bracelet was definitely her fav – just need to keep her from breaking it now. That’s not gonna be as easy as it sounds ….

 Grandma looked about ready to smack me when we dropped Carmen off at hers, was pretty pissed about the scene I’d caused on Sunday. The bollocking she gave me was … embarrassing ….

 I’m not too worried though – she never stays mad for long.

 “Mommy!”

 “Wha’ is it, kiddo?”

 “Can I have some cake?”

 “Course y’ can.” Will’s gonna be annoyed … because she’s already had one piece today, but it’s worth it – just look at that cute, little face. I can’t say no to that.

\--------------------

***Monday 6th September***

***8.50am***

 “Y’ ready ta go, Carmen?”

 “Yeah!”

 Fucking hell … I still can’t believe we’re here already. It’s gone by so fast.

 Carmen starts homeschooling today at Grandma’s house. It won’t be proper lessons yet, just a bit of reading and writing in between playtime.

 “Come on then.”

 We probably didn’t even need a teacher this year, could have asked Grandma to make sure she did a bit of work, but Will wanted no expense spared for kiddo’s education. 

 Well, I guess he can afford it – uh … I probably should know what his wages are, being his husband and all ….

 Whoopsies.

 “Wait! I wanna wear my bracelet.”

 “Y’ wanna show tha teacher y’ Pandora charms?” Grell’s been surprising her with a new one every so often.

 “Yeah!”

 “Alright, but be careful not ta break it when y’re playin’, okay?”

 “I’ll put it away after I show her,” she grins at me. Daw … that face.

 “Okay.”

 I get the bracelet, clip it on her. “Y’ ready ta go now?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Carmen, don’t forget your lunch box.”

 “Oh, whoopsies.”

 It’s handed over.

 “Y’ -.”

 “Mommy, you look so funny!”

 Huh? Ohhh …. “Hah, yeah, I know.” I thought it was best to age myself up a bit for the teacher, make myself look like I was in my thirties.

 Best to start now, because as Carmen gets older, a guy who looks like a teenager parenting a teenager is gonna look super weird to any human who doesn’t know I’m a reaper.

 Grell taught me a little ‘masking’ trick – I always thought her teeth were naturally pointy, but I was wrong.

 Being a reaper is so cool!

\---------------------

***4.54pm***

 The teacher seemed nice when we dropped her off. I thought it was gonna be a woman, but it was some guy in his twenties.

 Will’s finishing early today, so he can come pick Carmen up with me. Just five more minutes and we can go, find out if she had a good day. Man, I sure hope so.

 I did want to put her in school originally, so she could be around other kids … but with how overcrowded the schools are getting, there’s no way the teachers can keep an eye on all the kids at the same time. And … and even though they do checks and stuff, I don’t really trust that one of the teachers isn’t gonna be some predator ….

 If I don’t have a family member or friend to keep an eye on her – ugh … I dunno, it just makes me feel uneasy.

 I didn’t even have to convince Will. He wanted her to have a good education to give her the best possible start in life.

 Still … I don’t want her to get lonely. We’ll have to find her a club to join or something when she’s a bit older. Yeah, sounds like a plan.

\---------------

***5.02pm***

 “Did y’ ‘ave fun, Carmen?”

 “Yeah.” She rubs at her one eye. “The teacher was funny.”

 “Yeah? Did y’ read a book ta him?”

 “A bit, but then I wanted to show him my drawings.”

 “Y’ drew for him? Did he like y’ artwork?” She’s a proper good drawer, will probs be as good as Al by the time she’s a teenager.

 “Yeah, he said they were pretty.” Another rub.

 Aww. “Y’ tired?”

 “Yeah.”

 Daww, the teacher wore her out.

 Will picks her up, holds her on his hip. “You can have a nap when we return home, okay?”

 “Hungry too.”

 “Yes, okay,” he smiles, “I will fix you a snack first.”

 “Thanks, Daddy.” She rests her head on him, closes her eyes. Heh … she might not stay awake long enough for that snack.  

 “Say bye ta Grandma and Grandpa, Carmen.”

 … No reply.

 Heh, I thought so. Poor kid was just too tired out. Bless.

\--------------------

***Sunday 5th December***

 Carmen’s been asking about my past a lot lately. She was asking stuff every now and then after the sweetie thing, but recently ….

 I haven’t told her much more, just that I escaped from that place and then her daddy found me, took me back to my mom.

 I … I really hope she stops asking soon. I know she’s just a curious kid, and I know I started all this to begin with ... but it really is hard to think about, try to put that shit into words she’ll understand.

 Oh well, it really doesn’t matter …. I don’t think it’s worrying her too badly – she’s doing super well with the home schooling.

 And Grell seems happier. She’s been going out a lot with Olly lately – Eric must have said something to make his ears perk up. I know she’s got a date night tonight, so she won’t be coming with me and Eric clubbing.

 Then, next weekend, she’s going on a little trip with him. She’s super excited, hasn’t shut up about it since it was planned. Bless.

\---------------

***8.02pm***

 “Where is he?”

 Jay frowns. “I don’t know. This was definitely the club, wasn’t it?”

 “Yeah.” Eric said he’d be meeting us here … but he wasn’t by the front door, and he isn’t at the bar either. “Y’ think he’s runnin’ late?”

 “I doubt it. Maybe he’s out the back?”

 “Yeah, maybe.” Worth a try.

\--------------

 “Since when did y’ start smokin’ again?” I chuckle … but I feel proper uneasy. We found him sitting on a bench by the gate out back … just staring into space.

 He … he stopped smoking when he met Al, because his chest was so bad, but now – something just isn’t right.

 He doesn’t answer.

 “Eric … what’s goin’ on? What’s tha matter?”

 “Ah … ah don’t know.” He knocks back whatever’s in his glass.

 “Y’ dunno?” He leans forward, sighs loudly. “Eric -.”

 “Something … something bad is going tae happen.”

 “Like wha’?”

 “Ah don’t know!”

 “Y’ -?”

 “Ah … ah just have this horrible feeling in my gut, alright? And ah cannae shake it.”

 “A -?”

 “Ah need a drink.”

 He shoots up, rushes off.

 “But … y’ve jus’ had one ….”

 Me and Jay look at each other.

 “Do y’ feel anythin’?”

 “No, I feel fine.”

 “Yeah … me too.” But something has him spooked.

 I stand up. We need to keep an eye on him. He’s obviously not in a good place right now ….

\----------------

***11.49pm***

 “Come on, mate, time ta go home.” Me and Jay take an arm each around our shoulders, half carry, half drag him towards the door.

 He’s gotten himself into a right mess, has been going on and on about this bad feeling all night.

 “Yerrr, yerrrr need tae h-help me …. Ah, ah don’t … kn-know whaaaa tae do. Please … ah … ah – it’s bad. It … it’s hor … horrible. S-someone’s – ah … ah c-cannae -.”

 “You’ll feel better in the morning,” Jay says.

 “No … no … ah -.”

 “Yes, you will. You’ll figure it all out once you get some sleep.”

 “It’ll be alright, buddy.”

 Pfft … I don’t even know that myself.

 He’s an absolute wreck, was already pretty tipsy when we met him. And … and then he just kept downing shot after shot.

 He … he’d never do that in front of me – something’s really eating away at him. It’s got me worried.

 He was fine yesterday, and now – it’s got me really fucking concerned.

 There’s been talk of ... of something bad coming again.

 I … I thought it was just rumours, but now … I’m not so sure.

 I … I just dunno what to think ….

 I have fucking chills.


	14. Alan. Unnerved.

***Monday 6th December***

***12.51am***

 “Okay, thank you.” I was woken up by such a commotion downstairs … and … and I’m still not one-hundred percent sure why. Ronnie and Jay tried to explain … but even they don’t really understand why Eric’s so upset.

 He isn’t making any sense ….

 “Y’ sure y’ don’t want me ta stay?” Ronnie asks. He looks as concerned as I feel.

 “No, it’s okay.”

 “Alright. Text me though, yeah?”

 “I will.”

 Jay wishes me the best, and the three of us say our goodbyes. Shutting the door, I hurry back into –

 My heart sinks.

 He … he’s in such a state …. “Eric?”

 “Ah … ah cannae lose yer, Al, ah ….” He trails off, tears –

 “Y-you won’t.”

 Where is all of this coming from? Why … why is he so upset? I don’t understand ….

 I take a few steps forward, close the gap between myself and the sofa. “Eric -.”

 I’m pulled down onto his lap, squeezed tightly. “Ah … ah nearly l-lost yer once. Ah … ah cannae go through that again. Ah just -.”

 “You … you won’t have to.” I turn in his death-like grip, wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I’ll be okay, so don’t cry. Please?”

 “Y-yer need tae be careful, Al, ah -.”

 “I will be. Nothing is ever going to happen to me, so let’s go to bed, okay?” 

 He looks away from me, sniffs loudly.

 “I’ll still be here in the morning, I promise.” …. “Please. You need to get some rest.”

 His grip gets even tighter. It’s like he’s using me as a teddy bear, holding me to comfort himself. He … he’s so frightened …. “Stay right here.”

 “I will, but you really need sleep.”

 “Aye … al-alright.” He sniffs again, cups the back of my head with his hand. “Ah really love yer, Al.”

 “I know you do,” I smile. “I love you too.”

\-------------------

 I press send on my phone, the text saying that Eric seems a little better going to Ronnie. He –

 I’m pulled on top of Eric, his arms holding my body tight against his. My ribs dig into him, grind against his. It’s uncomfortable, painful even, but if cuddling like this helps him relax, I can take it.

 I won’t be able to speak to him properly, figure out what is really going on, until the alcohol wears off.

 Whatever it is … it has him scared. He ... he wouldn’t have gotten so drunk in front of Ronnie if ... if it wasn’t weighing on him so heavily.

 He squeezes me so tightly I feel my ribs are about to break. But I don’t move, let him hug me as much as he needs.

 As drunk as he is, he just wants to protect me. It’s so sweet.

 Shifting a little to get comfortable, I hug him back as best I can.

 I need to keep him safe and happy too.

\-----------------

***7.00am***

 “Hm.” Ouch …. My hip bones and ribs are really stiff ….

 “Morning.”

 He’s awake? “Morning. Did you get any sleep?”

 “Aye … a bit. Ah guess ah just couldn’t stay settled.”

 Oh …. “So … you’re not feeling any better?”

 “No … not really.”

 “Okay ….” I wince as I climb off of him, squeeze next to one of the dogs. “Why … why do you think something bad is going to happen?”

 “Ah … ah told -.”

 “You weren’t making any sense last night, Eric. You said you had a bad feeling, but -.”

 “Ah did!” With a sigh, he sits up in bed. “Ah … ah don’t know. Ah was fine one minute … and then … my heart just sank.”

 “So … a feeling of dread?”

 “Aye, exactly. It … it was like that feeling some humans get when they … wh-when they know someone in their family … has d-died.”

 “B-but no one has -.”

 “Someone is going tae, Al.”

 He … he sounds so sure …. “And you think … I’m the one who’s going to die?”

 “It h-has tae be. Ah … ah wouldn’t have felt like – it wouldn’t have been so intense if … if it wasn’t yer.” He grabs my hand. “B-because yer’re the one ah love the most. Ah … ah cannae lose yer, Al.”

 “You won’t, I promise.” I … I don’t know what to think … but judging by his reaction last night, it … it isn’t worth the risk. “I’ll phone William, ask him if I can have the day off.”

 “H-he best -.”

 “If he says no, I’ll just have to skive,” I smile.

 The worry drains out of his face. “Th-thank yer.”

 “It’s okay.”

 I’m pulled to his side as he sighs again. “Ah … ah’m sorry – ah really caused a … scene last night.”

 “It’s okay, Eric … I understand. But I think you should apologise to Ronnie for getting drunk -.”

 “Ock, shite! Ah was so worked up ah didn’t even think.”

 My hand rubs against his chest. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”

 “Aye … aye, ah know. When yer phone William, ah’ll speak tae Ronnie and explain everything.”

 “I think you should apologise face to face.”

 “Ah’m not leaving yer here on yerr own.”

 “Nothing is going to happen in the reaper -.”

 “Ah’m not risking it.” His hand grips the back of my nightshirt.

 “We’ll go together then, okay?”

 “Ah …. Aye, alright, that … should be fine.”

 “Okay. You should go in the shower first though.” I smile up at him. “You smell really bad.”

 He chuckles deeply. “Ah know.” He kisses me – his breath is chronic too. “Ah love yer, so much.”

 “I love you too.”

\-----------------

***8.33am***

 Eric made me stand in the bathroom while he showered. I don’t think he’s going to let me out of his sight for – I don’t know how long. A day? A week? How long is it going to be before he feels the danger is over?

 I have no idea ….

 I climb back into bed, will probably be here for the rest of the day.

 Ronnie wasn’t mad in the slightest, as I expected, was just glad that Eric seemed in better spirits.  

 William was a little annoyed when we first got there, but after Eric explained … he became …. concerned ….

 I … I thought he would brush it off as nonsense … but he told me to take the day off straight away.

 It was stra –

 Does he know something I don’t?

 No … no, of course not. Eric is a good friend, and he trusts his word – that’s all it is.

 Still … it unnerved me a little.

 No, no … I shouldn’t be worried. After all, this is the safest place to be. I’ll just stay here until this all blows over.

 Hopefully, in a day or two, Eric’s feeling of dread will disappear. Hopefully ….

 Eric manages to get into bed before the dogs come into the room, take up all the space.

 It is a bit of a battle for room at times.

 I snuggle up to him, rest my head on his hoodie. I am quite tired after the late night.

 Eric’s hand touches my back, pats at it gently. “Hmm ….”

 Even though the situation has me a little unsettled, a lazy day in bed really does sound lovely.

 It has been a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this has been a hard slog. Working twice as many hours this week as normal, and in 8 days in a row. Next week isn't going to be much better. *cries*  
> Leave me some love.  
> Hopefully, the next chapter will be up at the start of next week ... if I don't fall into a deep sleep before then xD. So tired.


	15. Ronald. I don't understand ....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter overlaps the previous chapter at the start.

***12.59am***

 “It was really weird.” I’ve just woken Will up, told him about what happened.

 “Yes … that is odd ….”

 “Yeah. It’s probs nothin’ though, right?”

 A sigh? Why is –

 “I … don’t know.”

 What …? “Y’ don’t know?” I shoot up in bed. “Y’ … y’ feel like somethin’ bad is gonna happen too?”

 “No, no … I have felt fine all day.”

 “Then why -?”

 “Reapers can be quite perceptive at times.”

 “So … so he really sensed somethin’?”

 “I think so, yes.”

 “S-so wha’ do y’ think is gonna happen?”

 “I have no idea.” He sighs again. “But whatever is it, he didn’t have to drink himself silly in front of you because of it.”

 Probably shouldn’t have mentioned that part …. “It’s alright.”

 “He -.”

 “I was more worried ‘bout wha’ he was sayin’, ta be fair.”

 He looks at me, gives me a super intense stare …. “It didn’t make you want to drink?”

 “Hell no. It put me off even more.” How could he even ask that? Eric was in a right – I … I used to be like that …. I never wanna go back there ….  

 “Good.” His glasses are pushed up. “Still, he should know better.”

 “Don’t be too hard on him.” I shuffle closer to him. “He was so upset he probably wasn’t thinkin’.” …. “And I’m fine, really.”

 His arm wraps around my shoulders. “Yes … alright. And I suppose he will apologise when he sees you next.”

 “Yeah, he totally will.” But, really … I think we have bigger things to worry about than that.

 I think he knows that too ….

\-----------------

***8.35am***

 I feel a bit better now … a little less anxious. Eric and Al came round this morning, and Eric explained everything. He’d managed to get things straight in his head, figured out that it was Al who was in danger.

 It was kinda scary, but Al’s safe now. Will told him to take the day off as soon as Eric explained, didn’t wanna risk it.

 And once Eric said sorry to me, Will was fine with him. I don’t give a shit about him getting drunk in front of me though, as long as they’re okay. As long as Al’s safe.

 And he will be. Nothing’s gonna happen as long as he stays at home with Eric.

 Yeah, yeah, that’s right, I can relax.

 I can relax.

\----------------------

***3.03pm***

 Ugh … I can’t concentrate. Will’s put me on paperwork today, to make sure nothing bad happens to me either. I get why, wouldn’t wanna risk it … but it’s driving me mad. So fucking boring ….

 And … and I keep thinking about what would have happened if … if Eric hadn’t have gotten that weird feeling ….

 I glance at my phone, groan. Still got two more hours to go ….

 I know! I’ll go get some food – that’ll pass a bit of time. Pushing my chair back, I stand up. The office door’s yanked open, and I step – “woah!” Grell just rushed past me, nearly knocked me flying.

 Oh, I need to tell – I hurry after her. “Hey, Gr ….”

 She’s on her phone …. I stand there as she disappears around the corner. She sounded super excited, looked really happy. I bet she was talking to Olly about her trip.

 Hm … I don’t really wanna disturb her.

 And I bet Eric’s already texted her, told her everything. Yeah, for sure.

 I’ll try to catch her later, just in case, or text her tonight – yeah, I’ll text her tonight.

 She’s so focused on her convo, she probs wouldn’t listen to me anyway. Hah –

 Ugh … tummy’s rumbling ….

 Think I’m gonna pop to the chippy. I fancy some cheesy chips – fuck, my mouth’s watering just thinking about it.

\-----------------

***10.11pm***

 “I miss Daddy.” I’m trying to get Carmen off to sleep, but she’s too busy sulking.

 Will had to go to a meeting today, and it dragged on for fucking ages, so he’s stuck at work until late to catch up on his paperwork. Fucking sucks ….

 “I know, Kiddo, but if y’ go ta sleep, he’ll be back before y’ know it.”

 “Don’t wanna.”

 “Well y’ gotta. Daddy won’t be home for ages, and he won’t be happy if he comes home and y’re cranky because y’re tired.”

 She pouts at me. “Okay, Mommy.” She shuffles down in bed. “But I want a story first.”

 “Alright,” I chuckle, “sure.” She’s a right bossy little girl sometimes. It’s so adorable.

\----------------

 I tuck her in nice and tight, smile as she dozes off. She’s so cute when she sleeps.

 Eh … what do I do now? Don’t fancy going to bed alone. Hmm ….

 I think I’m gonna grab some junk food from my room, chill out with a movie and wait for Will to get home.

 Man, it feels weird not having him here.

\---------------

***10.29pm***

 I stretch out on the sofa, have just gotten off the phone with Eric. Everything was fine, thank fuck.  He –

 Ah, shit! I totally forgot to text Grell – agh, idiot … I forgot to ask Eric if he’d told her about it already.

 Oh well, I’ll –

**Brrrrrringgg.**

 Ah, Will’s phoning me. Ugh … he’s probably gonna tell me he’s pulling an all-nighter or some shit. I pick up my phone, accept the call. “H -.”

 “Ronald! Y-you have to come to the association immediately.”

 “Wha’?” He … he sounds – is he crying? “Will, wh-what’s -?”

 “The, the infirmary. Take Carmen to her Grandmother’s and come to the infirmary.”

 “Y’ -.”

 “Now!”

 “Will, what’s …?” The phone goes dead.

 I … I don’t – no! No … I … I just talked to Eric –

 What … what’s going on?

 I … I don’t understand ….

 Sh-shit ….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two quick questions:  
> Guesses for the next chap?  
> Want a side story like in the first story? Or nah? Lemme know, please.


	16. Ronald. Don't go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, can't believe 600 words took me a week to write. A nightmare of a chap. But it just had to be perfect, haha.  
> Bit of a shift from my usual style, with mainly just dialogue and little description, but hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two pieces of a dialogue on the same line just means they're talking at the same time.

 “W-Will, p-please jus’ tell me what’s goin’ on.” He … he won’t speak to me, won’t tell me what’s happened. “Will, y’ … y’re scarin’ me. Please ….” He’s crying, but he won’t – “Will!”

 He stops dead. “I … I’m sorry, Ronald.”

 “Sor -?”

 “In … in h-here.” His hand goes to the door handle. The door creaks open. “Inside.”

 My stomach drops. I … I can hear Eric – he … he’s upset – Al ….

 N-no … no ….

 I … I don’t wanna look, I don’t … but … but I have to. I … I have to know. I –

 “Grell!”

 I run – Fuck! There … there’s so much blood. She … she’s hurt, she’s really h-hurt.

 “Gr-Grell.” I look – “Wh-where’s tha doctors? Why aren’t they -?!”

 “Ronald ….”

 “N-no, she ....” “Don’t! Don’t yer dare give me that shite, William. She’s going tae be – Grell!”

 That … that cough – it … it’s horrible, spluttering – “Gr-Grell, it … it’s gonna be alright.”

 “R … Ronnie Darling ….”

 “Yeah,” I grab her hand, squeeze it. “I-I’m right here.” Why … why isn’t she squeezing back? Sh-shit, she’s weak, s-so weak. “Y’re gon -.”

 “Olly … where’s Olly …?”

 “He still isn’t picking up,” Al says gently. “I’ll -.”

 “Y … you h-have to find -.”

 “Don’t worry about that right now, Lass.” Eric wipes the … the bl-blood from her mouth. So … so much red …. “Yer need tae rest.”

 “No, no … I … I need my darling. I -.” **Cough. Cough.**

 “Gr-Grell, y’ -.”

 “I will find him.” Will disappears from the room.

 “He’ll be right – Gr-Grell …?” Sh-she’s getting paler …. She’s – “Al, ge’ a doctor! Y’, y’ need ta -.”

 “No … no. I … I want y-you all to stay with … with me.”

 “Yer need a -.”

 “Darling … please.” She tugs on Eric’s hand. “L-let the d-dear stay.”

 “No! Yer need a doctor now! We -.” **Cough. Cough.** “Gr-Grell, stay with me. Yer need tae – oi!” He pats her cheek, but … but she –

 “Grell, c-come on.” D-don’t sleep. You … you can’t go to sleep. “We need y’.” **Cough.** “C-Carmen needs y’. Grell, please.”

 “C-Carmen … mmm …. S-such a precious … child. Sh-she’s going to … to gr-grow up … to … to be such a strong … y-young woman.”

 “Y-yeah, yeah, sh-she is. And y’re gonna be there -.”

 “Y-you’ve d … done so well f … for yourself, Darling. I … I’m proud of -.”

 “Stop it! St-stop talking like that, would yer?” Eric leans in, kisses her forehead. “J-just stop it.”

 “Eric … Darling … y … you always were … my,” **cough** , “my … f-favourite.”

 “Stop!” **Sob.** “St-stop ….”

 “D-Darling -.”

 “Yer’re not going tae die, do yer hear me?!” Another kiss. “Yer’re not.” Over and over. Er-Eric, kiss her better. P-please, just … just make it all better. **Sob.** “Y-yer’re not, s-so … so just stop.”

 “O-Olly ….” **Gulp.** “Wh-where’s … my … my … Olly?”

 “He -.”

 “I … I n-need to … to s-see him.” Her … her eyes – n-no …. No! “I … I need … t-to ….”

 “Gr-Grell …?” N-no ….

 “Grell! Oi!” He … he shakes her … but it … it won’t …. It won’t …. “Grell!” No! This isn’t happening! No! No! N-no, p-please no …. “L-lass, please.” This isn’t r-real. It’s not. It’s not! “Grell!”

 Y-you can’t – I need you! I fucking need you!!!

**Sob ….**

 W-wake up. Wake up! “Grell ….”

**Sob ….**

 “Grell!!!”


	17. Alan. Grief and rage.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep apoligising for the slow updates, but it can't be helped right now. Helping Mom apply for jobs, and covering for someone who's left at work. Bear with me.

**Slam!** “Yer useless bastard!”

 “Eric, stop -.”

 “Where were yer?! Eh?! She needed yer!”

 “Eric -.”

 “Yer piece of -.”

 **Slap!** “That’s enough! I … I know you’re upset, but this isn’t helping.” Othello is –

 “Yer -!”

 “You’re acting like a thug!” I grab his wrist. “We’re going home.”

 My feet hit the ground. “Eric, what on earth -?”

 “He wasn’t there!”

 “He knows that, and … and he’ll have to live with that for the rest of his life. He doesn’t need you -.”

 “She needed him!”

 “I … I know, but it wasn’t his fault. He was at work – you know that.”

 “Well, he -.”

 “He’s just lost his wife, Eric! You -.”

 “Ah’ve lost my best friend! Yer know how that feels?!”

 “I … I do.” Sh-she was my friend too ....

 “Aye, course yer do.” He storms –

 “Eric, w-wait -.”

 “Leave me alone.”

 “N-no.” I reach out, touch him, but my hand is shrugged away. I try, again and again, but I’m pushed away every single time. “Eric ….”

 The bedroom door bangs against the – “Eric!”

 He screams, so loud it’s def – items are knocked away, land at me feet. “Eric, that’s enough!”

 The bedside table hits the – he’s going to ransack the whole – “Eric, st-stop it. Calm down, please.”

 My painting is ripped – “Don’t!”

**Crash!**

 It … it’s broken. It … it took me months, and he … he just …. “Er-Eric ….”

 He stops dead, stares down at it. “Ah … ah’m sorry, Al … ah ….” He falls – I hurry to his side.

 “Eric -.”

 “Gr-Grell – th-this is all my fault.”

 “No, no, it’s -.”

 “It is! Ah was wrong! Ah … ah thought it was yer – ah was wr-wrong.”

 “Y-you couldn’t have known.”

 “Ah should have! Ah should – ah didn’t even text her! Ah ... ah didn’t warn her, and now … now she’s gone. She’s gone, and it’s all my fault!”

 “No, it isn’t. Y-you weren’t the one who -.”

 “It is!” He punches the carpet. Again, again –

 “Stop it!” I grab his wrist. “You’re going to hurt -.”

 “Ah don’t care! Ah … ah ….” He slumps against me, his face contorted … in pain … so much pain. It … it hurts so much, I know it does … I know. “Ah … ah let her down.”

 “You didn’t.”

 “Ah … ah did.”

 “No … no, you didn’t.” I wrap my arm around his back, rub at his upper arm softly. Anything … anything to try to calm him. “You were her best friend, Eric. She knew you’d have done anything for her. She … she still does.”

 He … he sobs, shakes against me, and … and I’m trying so hard to stay strong for him, comfort him. But it’s getting harder to keep it together. It … it’s so hard.

 “Y-you didn’t let her down, I promise you. You didn’t. I promise.”

\----------------------

***Tuesday 7th December***

***2.32am***

 Eric is asleep at my side. I don’t know how he managed to doze off – I sure can’t. All of that … rage, it … it must have exhausted him.

 I tried my best to calm him … but nothing I said helped. He just wanted to be left alone. He needed space, but I couldn’t … I just couldn’t leave him alone in that state.

 He blanked me … for the rest of the night.

 Pushing me away, taking his anger out on his loved ones – it … it isn’t going to help.

 It won’t change … a thing ….

 Even the dogs have stayed away. I heard them barking during the commotion … but they stayed away. They … they must have sensed … the pain, wanted to keep their distance from it.

 This bedroom, it … it feels so lonely without them, without Eric’s hold. I’m alone … with my thoughts.

 I can’t sleep.

 I can’t ….

 My feet lead me out onto the landing. I don’t know why … or where I’m going. I really don’t know –

 I … I meant to port into the bedroom when we came home … but I ended up in the kitchen. That … that could have been dangerous ….

 Decapitation, or –

 I wasn’t concentrating … couldn’t concentrate – my … my head’s such a mess.

 And … and there’s blood … there’s blood under my fingernails. I … I don’t know whose it is … if Eric cut himself in his rage … or … or if it h-hers.

 It … it’s hers, isn’t it?

 My … my legs –

**Crash – Bang!**

 I … I’m at the bottom of the stairs, and the dogs are barking, and … and she’s gone … she’s really gone ….

 The dogs’ claws scratch on the carpet as they run towards me. Alfie licks my cheek, licks the tears away. But … but more replace them.

 Reality has hit.

 I squeeze him tightly, for dear life, but the … the tears, they won’t stop.  

 Grell’s gone, she … she’s really gone.

 Our little family, the … the family we made for ourselves – it … it’s gone now.

 It … it’s all gone ….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know things are a bit mad right now, but all will be explained in the next chap.


	18. William. We have suffered a great loss.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overlaps with the previous chap again.

 Othello staggers to his feet, hand on his side. “Are you hurt?” I found him … too late, and on returning, Eric flew off into a rage. I … I have never seen anything like it ….

 “I’m fine.” His tone is flat … distant.

 But it is obvious that he is hurt. He is wincing with every step. Did … did Eric break a rib when he threw him against the wall? I did hear a crack – honestly, what on earth was he thinking? The man has been through enough ….

 “Do you want me to take you home?”

 “N-no … I need … I need to stay … with her.”

 “I … I understand.” I glance at Ronald – he … he is slumped in the corner of the room, a look of devastation – I have to take him home.

 “We are going to go, if that is -?”

 “G-go. I … I’ll stay.”

 “Y-yes … alright.” I reach out a hand, but stop before my skin makes contact with him.

 What could I possibly say or do to help? Nothing. There is no comforting him ….

\--------------------

 The dogs bark at the door, demanding to be let in. Their cries go unanswered.

 “Ronald, stand up. Stand up, please.” I … I am trying to help him over to our bed, but he is dead weight against me. I haven’t the strength to lift him up, carry him. I haven’t ….

 The horrors I have seen tonight have drained the will to move from me.

 Gr-Grell … she … she was practically b-butchered. Her … her implants were … were ripped from her, a … a ch-chunk of her neck missing. She … she’d been slashed … beaten.

 The bile rises in my throat.

 She … she’d been tortured.  

 Demons … those scum – they … they joined together, outnumbered her … took her somewhere.

 And … and then, they threw her at the feet of a reaper on duty, threw her away like rubbish … like she was nothing.

 It … it must have been agony. The … injuries themselves weren’t the – they weren’t what –

 It … it was the venom that dripped from their claws that ….

 I … I cannot imagine the pain –

 Why Grell? Why did they target her? Why?

 I do not understand it. I … I cannot understand it ….

 “Ronald, here, lie down.”

 He doesn’t move. I … I don’t think he is able. His breath is –

 “Ronald, breathe … breathe.”

 I help him onto the bed, sit down on the edge of it. “Breathe.” My hand goes to his back, and I rub at it in an attempt to calm him. It doesn’t help, his breathing only – “Ronald, you need to breathe or you’ll have a panic attack.”

 No, he already –

 He gasps, shakes violently against my hand. The wheezing intensifies –

 “Ronald,” I turn over, lie down, “you really must calm down.”

 I wrap my arms around – it’s wet? Has … has he been sick?

 Oh … Ronald …. “Just breathe, Ronald, breathe. I’m here, I’m right here.”

 “Sh-she’s not dead! Sh-she’s … not.”

 “Ronald ….”

 “She’s not!”

 He chokes on a – “Shhh, it’s alright.” I squeeze my eyes shut, because it’s not alright … it’s not.

 “She … she’s -.”

 “Shhh … shh.” I tighten my hold on him. “Shhh, it’s alright. It’s alright. I’m here. I’m right here.”

\-------------------------

***Tuesday 7th December***

***12.37am***

 We were able to get his panic attack under control … but only barely. He is still a little wheezey – he really is in such a state …. trembling like a leaf … his eyes glassy as he stares off into space.

 And … as I thought, there is vomit on his coat – I … I don’t know when he – I must have been out of the room.

 I reach out a hand, comb my fingers through his hair. It is saturated in a cold sweat … as is the rest of him.

 “We should get you in the bath.”

 He stares up at me, his eyes unmoving. I feel a shake of the head under my hand.

 “You don’t feel well enough?”

 Another shake.

 “Then I will get you a change of clothes, okay?”

 “K-kay ….”

 The sheets need changing also. I do not wish to disturb him any more … but I really cannot leave him to lie in vomit-caked bedsheets.

 He is dead weight in my arms again as I try to lift him from the bed. It is as if – no, it is. He … he has lost the will to move, the will to do … anything.

 Oh … Ronald ….

\---------------

 I tuck him into bed, lay at his side. My arms – “Oh, you are freezing. I’ll get you -.”

 “N-no, stay.” He clings to my nightshirt. “P-please.”

 “Yes … of course.” I pull him closer, in an attempt to warm him. He hides his face in my neck, and sobs, the tears wet against my skin.

 “There, there, Ronald.” I don’t know what else to say. There is nothing I can say. If I tell him again that it is okay … I would be lying. Things, they are not okay, not in the slightest. I … I fear things will not be okay … for a long while ….

 “Ca-Carmen. Wh-wha’ are we supposed ta t-tell Carmen, Will? She … she really loves Auntie Grell.”

 “Don’t worry about that. I shall tell her in the morning.”

 “B-but she’ll be s-so upset.”

 “I know, but we must be honest with her.” He nods against me. “I will figure out how to tell her, so just try to get a little sleep, okay?” I kiss his head. “You need to rest.”

 “K-kay, I … I’ll try.”

\-----------------------

***6.03am***

 Ronald fell into a restless sleep hours ago, has only just settled at my side.

 I cannot sleep. Not that there is any point in sleeping now – I have to be up in just under an hour.

 I want to be anywhere but at work … but I haven’t a choice. I doubt anyone will turn up, but I still need to give them the day off officially, help to cover their shifts. And there … there will be paperwork, an … incident report to ….

 No, no, that isn’t the reason I cannot sleep, not really ….

 It is guilt … gnawing away at me. It is guilt ….

 Years ago, I would have been happy that she was gone. I … I would have been glad to … to be rid of the … ‘nuisance’.

 The way I used to treat her, it sickens me. I was cruel, unnecessarily cruel.

 And when it truly mattered, I wasn’t there … I wasn’t ….

 Coward. Y-you coward ….

 I offered to look for Othello, sped out of that hospital room knowing that … that by the time I returned, it would probably be … too late. Because I didn’t want to be there for – I didn’t want to see that.

 I let my husband, my friends … go through that, and I wasn’t there.

 I … I didn’t even say goodbye ….

 My vision starts to blur.

 We … we have suffered a … a great loss. A tremendous loss.

 My glasses hit the bedside table. I cover my face with my hands.

 Keep it together, William.

 You … you must stay composed, for Ronald, for Carmen.

 You must.

\--------------

***6.59am***

 I turn the alarm off a minute before it is due to sound. Ronald looks so exhausted that I wish not to wake him. He … he looks ill ….

 Carefully, I get out of bed, picking up my phone as I do so. As I leave the room, go down the stairs, the dogs follow me down. Their food bowls are filled, and as they tuck in, I glance at my phone. The glance turns into a stare … as I try to figure out who to call.

 Ronald cannot stay here on his own … but Eric and Alan are out of the question. So are Ronald’s grandparents. Martha probably wouldn’t help the situation … and I would prefer Carmen to stay with them until tonight, until Ronald has had chance to calm down.

 In all honesty, I … I do not feel up to telling the whole family what has happened quite yet.

 Another hour … I need another hour to figure out what exactly I will say to Carmen.

 But … an hour isn’t enough. A day wouldn’t be enough ….

 Who – Jay, of course ….

 He does always know how to calm Ronald.

 Sometimes, I think he is better at it than even I.

 I find his name in the contact list, and press call.

 Ring … ring … ring … ring ….

 My heart sinks. Is he asleep? Is his phone on silent?

 Ring … ring –

 “Hello?”


	19. Jay. Grief.

 “Ugh.” Evan rolls away from me. “Turn it off.” He’s so cranky in the morning …. “Now. Stupid alarm.”

 “It’s not – someone’s phoning me.”

 “Well, tell them to phone back later.”

 Rolling my eyes, I lean over to pick up my phone. What? “It’s William ….”

 “Don’t care.”

 I do. He’s never phoned me this early before. He probably needs me to come in early, or something like that … but still, it seems odd.

 As Evan moans at me again, I get out of bed, leave the room as quietly as I can. “Hello?”

 “J-Jay!”

 I flinch. God …. His sharp shout startled me a little. “Wh-what’s wrong?”

 “Something, something has – I need you to get here as soon as possible.”

 “Why? Wh -?”

 “I … I will explain – I think it best I tell you face to face. J-just get here, please.”

 A sick feeling comes over me. Something is wrong, very wrong. “Yes … alright. I’ll be right over.”

 “Thank you.”

 The call ends.

 I hurry to the bathroom, grab my toothbrush. No … no, I need to tell Evan where I’m going first. I can’t just rush off with no explanation.

\----------------

***7.19am***

 “Jesus ….” Grell – I … I can’t believe it.

 “I should have called you last night, so … so you could say goodbye. I’m sorry.”

 “It’s okay.” It’s not … not really. We had grown close, from our times clubbing together with Ronnie and Eric. I … I would have liked to say goodbye … but I understand it. In a situation like that … he wouldn’t have been thinking. “I understand.”

 “Still -.”

 “No … no, it’s fine, really.”

 “Yes … alright.” He adjusts his glasses. “Will you be able to stay with Ronald today? I hate to ask, but I have to go into the office, and I’d hate to leave him here on his own.”

 “Yeah, sure.”

 “Thank you.” He pushes his chair back, stands up from the table. “I will make you some coffee. You will probably need it. Ronald, he … was in a state last night.”

 “Yeah … I can imagine ….” I watch as he loads the coffee machine. “Are you holding up okay?”

 “N-no … not really.” I hear a deep sigh. “But … I will … I will be alright.”

 I stand up from my chair, walk close to him. “Well … if you need anything, just let me know.”

 “No, no, you have done enough.”

 My hand touches his shoulder. “I don’t mind, really.”

 “Th-thank you.”

\-----------------------

 I’m taken up the stairs. “He will probably be asleep for a few more hours – he exhausted himself.”

 “Okay.”

 He … he seems to be getting more anxious by the minute. It’s not surprising – he has to break the news to Carmen soon.

 I can’t … I just can’t imagine how difficult that is going to be. I want to go with him, try to help in some way, but I know I’m needed here.

 I walk through the door, and my heart sinks … and I know William made the right call. Ronnie looks so drained ….

 William goes over to the bed, leans in. A kiss is placed on his temple. “I am going to get ready, and then I shall head out.”

 “Okay, sure.” As he collects his clothes from the wardrobe, I put the large coffee jug and a cup down on a cloth on top of the nightstand.

 “Oh, and please don’t let the dogs in. Ronald needs to rest.”

 “Alright. Will they need feeding?”

 “Oh … no, no, I fed them earlier. But if they begin barking, there are some treats in the cupboard above the washing machine.”

 “Alright, got it.” I get onto the bed, moving the pillow so I can sit up against the headboard comfortably.

 “Thank you for this.”

 I offer him a smile. “It’s not a problem.”

 As the door clicks shut behind him, I reach out to pour myself a cup – a whimper. I turn to look at Ronnie again.

 His brow is furrowed – oh … he’s having a nightmare. Reaching out, I take the hand that is outside of the sheets, squeeze it gently.

 It seems to settle him, his expression relaxing back into one of peace.

 Good. He really does need to rest.

\------------------

***10.05am***

 It has been peaceful in here for the past two hours. Ronald hasn’t moved a muscle in that time, so I’m texting Evan while I wait for him to wake up. I told him … everything, and though his words were only written, they were so comforting.

 I sigh to myself as I look at the time on my phone. I could do with a cigarette. I know it’s a terrible habit, but it can’t hurt me now.

 My hand touches my pocket, taps against the twenty pack.

 No … I can’t. I have to stay right here.

\-----------------

***10.51am***

 Ronald shifts at my side, begins to sir. I look at him as his eyes open slowly. He frowns at me. “J-Jay? Where’s Will?”

 “He had to go to work.”

 “He … he did?”

 “Yeah, so he asked me to come over.”

 “Oh ….”

 “Yeah.” I put my phone on the side. “You want something to eat?”

 “N-no.” His lips trembles. “Sh-she’s really g-gone, isn’t she?”

 I glance away, for a moment, then meet his eyes again. “I … I’m sorry.”

 “Sh-shit.” He bites at his lip, his eyes filling with tears.

 I hurry to get under the covers, pull him to my side. “I know. It … it’s horrible.”

 “I … I dunno how-how am I s-supposed ta live wi’-wi’out her? I can’t – sh-she was tha best.”

 “She was.” I rub at his back. “She really was.”

 “I can’t – f-fuck ….” He curls into me, and … and sobs, the sound of his cries sending shivers down my spine. It’s an agonising sound – he’s in agony.

 I know that feeling, know what it’s like to cry like that.

 But I have no idea what to say, because whatever I say isn’t going to change the situation.

 But I hold him close as he chokes on his cries, gags … because if he knows I’m here for him, it might provide a little comfort.

 It just might.

 “J-Jay, it … it hurts ta breathe … it f-fuckin’ hurts ….”

 “I … I know.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “That’s grief, Ronnie … that’s grief ….”

\-----------------

***11.16am***

 Ronald picks at the fluff on my nightshirt absentmindedly, sniffing every now and then.

 “Want to go outside?” I ask. “It might help -.”

 “N-no. I … I wanna stay here.”

 “Eh … I kind of need a fag.”

 “Oh ….” Sniff. “J-jus’ ‘ave it in here.”

 “I can’t do that. William would go mad.”

 “He … he won’t if y’ open tha window.”

 “He’d still smell it. Come on.” I flop the quilt back. “You need some fresh air.”

 “Jay, I … I don’t -.”

 “Come on. It’ll help.”

 I hear him gulp. “K-kay.”

 As I get out of bed, he reaches out a hand. I take it, help to pull him out from under the sheets. His weight falls against my side.

 “Jay, I … I feel r-really sick.”

 “I know, but the fresh air will help with that, promise.”

\----------------

 I think being outside is helping. Ronnie’s even chuckled a couple of times at the pigeons in the shed. Laughing, when you really don’t feel like laughing … it does help.

 “Jay?”

 I exhale the smoke from my cigarette, turn to him. “Yeah?”

 “Will it ge’ easier? Tha gr-grief – will it …?”

 I fidget in my seat, take another drag. The smoke comes out with a sigh. “It does … but it takes time.” And even then … it still hurts. I have Evan back … but even now, when I think about the moment I lost him, I feel sick to my stomach.

 Because I remember that feeling of grief, that intense pain ….

 “R-right.” He sniffs, begins to tear up again. “C-can we go b-back inside now?”

 “Yeah … of course.”

\-----------------

***5.25pm***

 Ronnie fell back to sleep a while ago, seems quite peaceful at the moment. I did get him to eat a little lunch … but he’s spent most of the day staring into space. It’s the shock of it all – it hasn’t sunk in yet, and from experience … it probably won’t for the next few days.

 I’m having a hard time believing it myself. I always thought demons were just a nuisance, a danger only if you let your guard down … and even then, rarely deadly.

 But now –

 I hear the door open downstairs. William is home. I glance at Ronnie to check he’s still okay before porting down to greet him.

 Our eyes meet, and my stomach drops.

 He looks panicked. Not upset … but … scared? William … scared …. “Is everything okay?”

 “I ….”

 “Wh-what is it? What’s wrong?”


	20. William. Attacks worldwide.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overlaps again.

***8.11am***

 I stand in front of the main doors to the mansion, trying in vain to figure out what exactly to say. I have been here … for a while ….

 What … what on earth am I supposed to say?

 “Carmen, you see, Grell has -.”

 No.

 “Grell won’t be coming -.”

 No. No!

 Think, dammit!

 “Carmen … something bad happened last night.”

 Yes … yes, that might work. She will ask what happened, and, and then I can explain … somehow.

 I must stop dawdling. Carmen will be wondering where her parents are.

 The key is pulled from my pocket, shoved into the lock. I open it, step inside. As I close it, the pattering of little feet draws near.

 Carmen – I … I need more time ….

 “Daddy!” She hurries up to me as I turn, Molly following behind. I am given a quizzical look. “Daddy … have you been crying?”

 “I ….” I gulp. “Carmen … you see, something happened last night, something … bad.”

 “Bad?”

 “Is Ronnie okay?” Molly asks, worried etched on her face.

 “He is fine.” Not fine … but at least ….

 “Then what ‘appened?”

 “W-well, last night ….”

 “Daddy?”

 I kneel down in front of her. “L-last night, Auntie Grell – she was hurt last night.”

 “Is she alright?” Molly asks.

 “N-no.” My voice shakes. “C-Carmen, Auntie Grell … isn’t coming back.”

 Molly gasps as … as Carmen stares at me, confused ….

 “Never?”

 “N-no, never. Y-you won’t see her … ever again.”

 “Oh, so she’s dead?”

 My blood runs cold – how does she know about – how …? Did Grell tell her …? “Sh-she is.”

 “Okay, Daddy.”

 Okay? Oh … she doesn’t understand. She is too young.

 She … she doesn’t understand that things will never be the same again.

 Keep … keep it together, William. Stay composed, dammit!

 “Daddy … don’t cry.”

 I pull her into a hug, hold her closely. “Don’t worry, Carmen. I … I will be alright.”

 I have to be, for … for my family.

\----------------

***3.02pm***

 Carmen really didn’t understand, was more pre-occupied with Ronald coming to the mansion to eat breakfast with her. I explained to her that he would be over tonight, and once I told Molly … the details, we decided it best to tell Carmen’s teacher not to visit today.

 Carmen wasn’t happy about that in the slightest, complained that she would be bored … but at least the news didn’t upset her …. Still, I know the day will come when she will understand.

 My heart aches merely thinking of it – she will be devastated ….

 I glance at my watch, then look back at my paperwork. Only two pages have been completed since I returned from my reapings hours ago. Honestly ….

 My mind is a mess. Most of the day has been spent … in a daze.

 I should text Jay, check to see how Ronald is coping. Maybe that will help, in some way ….

 There is a knock on the door before I have chance to pick up my phone. “Yes, come in.”

 A sombre looking reaper – I don’t recognise him?

 “Can I help you?”

 An envelope is placed on my desk, and then he is gone.

 I stare at where he was standing, before turning my attention to the envelope. I do not recognise the handwriting either. Odd ….

 It is turned over. The … the wax seal – this is from headquarters. The envelope is torn open, a sheet of paper pulled from the slot.

 I open it, begin to read.

 William T. Spears … summoned to – a meeting? At headquarters? Why?

 Because of Grell? No … no, that doesn’t – do they want the details of the attack? That makes little sense either ….

 Why have they summoned me? It makes no sense.

 Attendance is mandatory ….

\-----------------

***5.22pm***

 I … I do not – this cannot be real. This cannot ….

 We were gathered in a large hall, I and many other managers, supervisors, and higher-ups. Many … but, but not all ….

 Grell wasn’t – last night, she wasn’t the only one who ….

 Anyone of importance who … who was in the human world – they were killed, or barely escaped with their lives.

 The scum, they went out in swarms, and attacked … killed – they killed dozens of us.

 This is … this is a declaration … of war.

\---------------------

***5.29pm***

 “Jesus Christ ….” Jay leans against the wall, his expression of horror mirroring my inner woes.

 “Y-yes.”

 “A … a war – you … you really think this is war?”

 “It isn’t yet … but I doubt they will stop now.”

 “But why? Why would they want to start something like that?”

 I take a deep breath. “With us reapers out of the way, they would have free range on human souls.”

 He curses loudly.

 “Yes … I … I can hardly believe it myself.”

 With a sigh, he pushes himself back to standing. “Ronnie’s – this is going to kill him.”

 “I am not going to -.”

 “What? You have to -.”

 “No … no, not yet. He needs a few days to grieve. Then I shall tell him.”

 “R-right, good point ….” Another sigh. “God ….”

 “Yes … I know.” It … it has come as quite the shock ….

 Silence.

 “Hey … if you were in the human world when they – would they have …?”

 “Yes. They … they are trying to cause chaos among us by … by r-removing those in management.”

 “Jesus, you -.”

 “I don’t much want to think of it.”

 “R-right. Sorry.”

 “No … no, there is no need to apologise.” It is just … I cannot bear to think of Carmen being left … without a father ….

 I ... I cannot ….   

\----------------

***5.42pm***

 “I’ll see you later.”

 “Yes.” As he steps outside, I call out to him.

 He turns back to face me. “Yeah?”

 “D-don’t spread this around. You can tell Evan, of course, but I could do without the mass hysteria at the association.”

 I receive a frown. “You’re not planning to tell them at all?”

 “Headquarters are going to make a worldwide announcement as soon as they know for sure what is going to unfold.”

 “Ah … makes sense. I won’t say anything.”

 “Thank you.”

 The door is shut and locked, and I make my way upstairs. Ronald remains still as I sit down on the edge of the bed.

 It … it all makes sense now … why Grell ….

 If … if they are planning to go into battle, they would have wanted her … out of the way.

 She was a fierce fighter, was known for getting into scraps with demons while out on assignments.

 It makes sense. It makes awful, bone-chilling sense.

 I put my head in my hands … as realisation sets in.  

 Hell is upon us ….


	21. William. Did they cry for you?

***7.39pm***

 “Oh … y’re back.”

 “Y-yes, yes, I came home a while ago.” His voice startled me a little. I hadn’t heard him stir. I was in a … world of my own … thinking on how to break the news of war to him. When … if I even should ….  

 He pushes himself into a sitting position. “Is Jay gone?”

 “Yes, he has returned home.”

 “R-right.” He looks down at his hands, fiddles with them. “Thanks for askin’ him ta come over. It helped.”

 “It was no trouble.”

 He nods slowly, before leaning up against me. He stares up at me with tired eyes. “D-did y’ tell Carmen?”

 “Yes … I did.”

 Tears form in his eyes. “D-did … did she cr-cry?”

 “No … no, I think … I don’t think she understands.”

 “R-right, yeah … she … she’s only little ….”

 “Yes … exactly.” Glancing at my watch, I say “I should probably pick her up soon.”

 His body jolts against mine. “N-no, no, y’ can’t.”

 Pardon? “Why not?”

 “I … I don’t want her ta see my like this.” I hear a sniff. “I … I’m a right mess.”

 “We cannot just leave her at your grandmother’s house.”

 “Yeah, b-but -.”

 “She isn’t going to care if you are upset. She just wants to see you.”

 “I ….”

 “She really is missing you,” I say softly. “When I spoke to her this morning, she was asking for you.”

 “F-fuck ….”

 “Ronald -.”

 “If … if she sees me cryin’, she’ll ge’ upset. I … I don’t wanna make her cry, Will, I -.”

 “You won’t.” Lifting a hand, I comb my fingers through his hair in an effort to calm him enough to listen to me. “I will explain to her that you aren’t feeling well, so she will know what to expect. I imagine she’ll want to give you a big hug to cheer you up.”

 “Y’ … y’ think?”

 “I do.”

 “O-okay, cool ….” Another sniff. “I … I could do wi’ one of her hugs.”

 “I shall go pick her up now then.”

 He nods slowly against me. “Kay ….”

\------------------

 Carmen tugs at my hand, telling me to hurry. She really is excited to see her mother.

 I take one more step before stopping dead a few metres from the stairs.

 “Daddy!” She pulls harder. “Daddy, come on!”

 “Wait.”

 “No!” She turns to face me. “I wanna see Mommy!”

 “You can in a moment.”

 “No -.”

 “Carmen, listen to me. Mommy is quite … upset at the moment.”

 She stares at me. “Mommy’s upset? Why?”

 “He is missing Grell. Carmen, you see ….” I kneel down in front of her. “When someone loses a person they really care for, they cry a lot for the first few days.”

 “Will Mommy be okay?”

 “Yes, he will be, but you need to give him lots of hugs, okay?”

 She smiles widely at me. “Okay, Daddy.”

 The seconds pass … and she stands – why isn’t she rushing up the stairs? The smiles fades, replaced by a stare. “Daddy … did your family cry for days too?”

 “P-Pardon?”

 “When you killed yourself. Did you make them cry?”

 My heart drops into my gut. I cannot – “Wh-who told you about that? Was it Auntie Grell?”

 “Yeah.”

 Why … why would she …? Honestly, Grell … you were always causing trouble for me. I’d be laughing … reminiscing … if you hadn’t told her … that.

 “I … I imagine they were sad, yes.” I honestly don’t know. It was such a shameful thing back then ….

 “Why did you do it then?”

 I stay frozen in place – what am I supposed to say? Think … I … I have to think.

 “I … I don’t know.” A pathetic answer ….  

 “You -.”

 “I think I hear Mommy calling.” I lift her up quickly, hope to cut the conversation short. “I shall tell you later.”

 “Nooo, Daddy -.”

 “Mommy needs a hug.”

 My attempt at distraction fails, Carmen continuing her interrogation. I don’t know. I’m not sure. I cannot remember.

 Lies.

 We reach the landing.

 Again and again, I try to brush her off with indefinite answers.

 Again and again, she presses for a proper explanation.

 I stop in front of the bedroom door.

 “Carmen, that is enough, okay? If Mommy hears you asking these things, he’ll get even more upset.”

 “B-but Daddy -.”

 “No buts. Mommy needs a hug right now, so we will discuss this later, okay?”

 She pouts up at me. “Okay ….”

 I take a deep breath. Thank goodness for that ….

 The door is pushed open.

 Silence.

 I look down, see Carmen staring at her mother. Just staring ….

 “Mommy ….”

 Ronald forces a smile. “Hey, Kiddo.”

 She wriggles in my grasp. As soon as I put her down, she rushes to her mother’s side. “Mommy, you look poorly.”

 “I-I’m jus’ a bit stressed out.”

 “Because Auntie Grell’s gone?” 

 The smile slips. “Y-yeah.”

 “Are you gonna be okay?”

 “Yeah.” He reaches over, lifts Carmen up into bed, into his arms. “I’ll be alright.”

 She hugs back, tightly, as tightly as she can. “Daddy says if I hug you, the owwies will go away.”

 “Y-yeah, that’s right.”

 He’s holding back tears … for her sake.

 “Y’ … y’ hugs are tha best, Kiddo.”

 My heart aches. I … I really cannot break the news of war to him.

 I cannot.

 It would destroy him.

 He … he is already … so broken ….  


	22. Alan. You're not heartless.

***Thursday 9th December***

***6.37pm***

 I fidget on the sofa. I’m downstairs with the dogs, without Eric, and I feel so … uneasy. I can sense the tension in our home. It’s so … heavy ….

 Eric has barely spoken to me, has spent most of his time in the kitchen, or up in our room … with a bottle of whiskey in hand.

 I’ve tried to reach out to him, so many times, but he just wants to be left alone.

 And I do leave him be, because even though he hasn’t shouted at me, the anger is just radiating off of him.

 I … I didn’t want to poke and pry, push him ….

 But I can’t keep tip-toeing around him. I shift around again.

 There’s something I have to say.

\----------------

***6.54pm***

 “Ock, just leave me alone!”

 “No.” I rush around the side of the table, block his path. “You need to apologise to him. You know you -.”

 “Why should ah?” He-he’s glaring daggers at me. “He -.”

 “Because you were in the wrong, and you know it.”

 “Hn, yer -.”

 “It wasn’t his fault. Please, Eric, you know that. He was stuck at work, wasn’t by his – he didn’t deserve to be attacked like that.”

 “Would yer -?”

 “And, and now he’s all alone in that house. How would you feel, if you were him, and I was the one – and you had no one to turn to?”

 His eyes widen. It’s only for a moment, before the scowl returns, but it’s enough. I’ve gotten through to him.

 “Ah, ah don’t -.”

 “He really needs a friend right now. Grell, she, she’d want us to be there for him.”

 He brushes past me with a huff. “Ah’ll think about it.”

 “Okay.” He disappears out of the room, but I know he’ll be back soon.

 He’s hurting … fuming, but he’s not heartless.

 He never could be.

\-----------------

***10.05pm***

 It’s night-time now, and I’m back to fidgeting. Hours have passed … and I haven’t heard a peep out of Eric.

 I was sure I had gotten through to him ….

 No, I definitely did. He’s probably just fallen to sleep. I don’t think he’s been sleeping well, at all, since … it happened ….

 The sofa creaks as I move position.

 Maybe I should –

 “Al, yer ready tae go?”

 His voice – I turn. He’s in the doorway. “Go? To Othello’s?”

 “Tae Grell’s, aye.” His hand slips from the doorframe with a sigh. “Yer were right – ah was out of line. Ah … ah’m sorry.”

 “It’s okay, Eric, I understand … but I’m not really the one who needs to hear an apology.”

 “Aye … ah know.” He turns from me to face the hallway. “Come on.”

 I stand up with a smile. “Coming.”

 He listened to me. Thank goodness. It’s a relief.

 He’ll start opening up to me now, stop pushing me away – I’m sure of it.

 Thank goodness.

 I was really starting to worry.

\--------------------

 “H-hi, Olly.”

 We knocked on the door, but he didn’t answer, so we ported in. And here, we found him, sitting on their bed, in the dark … just staring into space.

 Me and Eric exchange a glance, before he goes over to the lamp, using the moonlight to guide him. The curtains have been left open.

 The room brightens.

 “How are you feeling?” A silly question, but it’s polite to ask. And maybe it’ll get him to speak.

 But no. He doesn’t move an inch.

 Silence.

 My eyes meet with Eric’s again. “Othello, listen … ah’m sorry for having a go at yer. Ah was out of line.”

 “You ….”

 My stomach rolls over. Othello didn’t speak, he growled. He … he’s glaring daggers at Eric now ….

 “Ah … ah know -.”

 “Liar!” Othello jumps up from the bed, grabs onto –

 “Olly, c-calm down -.”

 “You lied to me!” He shakes Eric by the shirt. “You told me I’d lose her if I didn’t pay her more attention. I did what you said! I did everything you said, and she still -.”

 “Ah … ah didn’t mean -.”

 “Liar! You liar!”

 “Olly, that’s enough.” I grab his wrists, pull his hands away. “He didn’t -.”

 “No!” I’m pushed –

 Eric?

 He … he’s gone.

 Crap ….

 I port home, into the living room. He’s not in here.

 “Eric?”

 I rush into the kitchen, find him. He … he’s bent over the table, one hand gripping it … one hand over his face.

 “Eric -.”

 “H-he’s right.”

 “No, Eric, he’s just grieving, and he’s taking his anger -.”

 “No!” His other hand slams down – “Ah told him things would be alright if – ah could have stopped this.”

 “No,” I hurry up to him, “it wasn’t your fault.”

 “It was! Ah … ah’ll never forgive myself for this ….”

 Tears –

 “No, it really wasn’t.” I reach – my hand is slapped away. “Er-Eric -.”

 “Just leave me alone.”

 “No, I -.”

 “Go!”

 “No, I won’t. I -.”

 “Then ah’ll go!” He disappears before my eyes.

 “Eric ….”

 He’s gone ….

 I … I was just trying to help, but I … I’ve only made things worse.

 Eric ….


	23. William. Not alright.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place on the same day as previous chap.  
> Sorry for the slow update - was on a trip for a few days.

***Thursday 9th December***

***6.54am***

 It is the morning … after another night of little sleep. I cannot get the thought of war out of my mind, cannot stop going over how to break the news to Ronald –

 No, I may not need to at this point. A statement was issued last night, telling of the multiple attacks. Reapers are to go out in pairs until further notice, for protection, to deter future attacks.

 Yet, no news of upcoming war, not even a hint during the statement.

 Maybe there will be no war. Maybe I was fretting needlessly.

 Lord, I hope so ….

 I turn to look at Ronald, watch as he sleeps soundly at my side, a stark contrast to his panic last night.

 He was so very frightened, and angry … so angry when he realised I had prior knowledge of the situation, knowledge I had failed to share.

 After much explanation on my part, he calmed down, forgave me.

 If I hear anything of an upcoming war, even the smallest snippet of information, I will tell him.

 I shall have to.

 Hopefully, I will not have to ….

 Rolling over, I glance at the alarm clock. Only five minutes until I have to be up, begin getting Carmen ready for home-schooling.

 Honestly ….

 At least I can return home once I take her to her grandmother’s house, sleep. Oh … I could sleep the entire day away.

 I wasn’t expecting to have my usual day off … with everything that is happening, but I am glad for it.

 But … I suspect it is the calm before the storm, before the overtime begins. With pairs of reapers having to be present for each outing, individual hours will surely increase.

 I sigh, for I know I will have to send Ronald and the others back to work soon. I really cannot afford them leave for much longer – the higher ups will be sticking their noses in before long.

 But Ronald is still in no fit state to be on duty, and Eric … I really do not want to deal with him at present.

 Honestly ….

 Turning over, I switch off the alarm.

 I wish not to wake Ronald. The more sleep he can obtain, the better he will feel.

 Greif … it is an exhausting emotion ….

\---------------------

***2.33pm***

 “Mommy, Mommy, come play outside!”

 “Not right now, Carmen.”

 “Aww, but -.”

 “Mommy’s not feelin’ so good.”

 “But -.”

 “Carmen, go play with Ashley for a little while,” I say. “We’ll be out soon.” She stares at me in annoyance. “Go on.”

 With a huff, she struts to the back door, and I turn back to face Ronald over the table. “Are you alright?”

 “Y-yeah, yeah ….” He glances away. “I jus’ don’t feel up ta playin’ right now.”

 “Okay.”

 “Yeah.” He leans his head on the table, and sighs. “Sorry.”

 “No, no, it is … understandable.”

 I was hoping that bringing him to his grandparent’s home would cheer him up, even a little … yet it seems to have done the complete opposite.

 Any social interaction, it is so draining on him.

\-----------------

***3.26pm***

 “Mommy, Mommy!”

 Carmen has been running in and out of the room for the past hour. Her excitement is adorable, but I can tell Ronald is struggling with the constant chattering.

 She tugs on his jacket. “Mommy, come outside! The fairies wanna speak to you!”

 I watch as his shoulders slump.

 The fairies ….

 Every time she comes inside … the fairies … the fairies ….

 “Carmen … Mommy really doesn’t feel too good.”

 “You should feel good! Mommy, the fairies -.”

 “Carmen, we can talk about the fairies later, okay?” I say, hoping to provide Ronald a little relief.

 “No!” The tugging intensifies. “Mommy, they said you shouldn’t be sad.”

 “Carmen, stop -.”

 “They said things will be alright, Mommy! The fairies -.”

 “Stop! I don’t care, okay?!”

 His shout – “Ronald ….”

 Carmen’s lip begins to quiver. Oh, no, don’t, please don’t – she bursts into tears, to my horror. “Carmen -.”

 With a wail, she rushes –

 “Carmen,” Ronald jumps up, hand outstretched, “wait! W-wait, I … I didn’t mean. I didn’t ….” He collapses back onto his seat, his expression laced with pain. “F-fuck ….”

 I push my chair back, stand quickly. “I shall speak to her.”

 Squeezing his eyes shut, he nods at me. I … I think all he can do is nod ….

 I follow in Carmen’s footsteps, to the back door, all the while feeling Martha’s eyes on me. Honestly, if she spent less time glaring and judging from afar, she might find herself able to help with the situation.

 Stepping out into the garden, I call out to her. I receive no reply, venture out further. “Carmen, where are you? Come on out … please?”

 I hear – there you are. Treading a few metres to the right, I glance over a small hedge.

 She … she’s curled up amongst the pots, her tiny fits held up –

 “Wh-why’s Mommy b-being so m-mean?! I did what you said!”

 “Are you talking to the fairies?” I ask softly. As she looks up at me, I offer a small smile.

 “Y-yeah ….”

 I bend over, scoop her up. “Your nose is all runny.” I produce a packet of tissues from my pocket. I always have them on hand – children can be very messy at times.

 I wipe her nose clean. “Carmen -.”

 “Mommy’s b-being m … mean,” she sniffs.

 “Well -.”

 “I was just trying to help! Mommy’s b-been looking really p … poorly. I don’t like it!”

 “Mommy … he is poorly.”

 “He is? Why?”

 “Well … he isn’t sick, but his mind isn’t well.”

 She stares at me. “He’s poorly in the head?”

 “Y-yes.” Not the kindest way to put it … but yes …. “He’s so upset over Auntie Grell that his mind isn’t right. He isn’t feeling like himself. But he isn’t mad at you, and he didn’t mean to shout.”

 She looks away, sniffs again. “He was r-really n … nasty.”

 “I know, but he really didn’t mean it.”

 “Carmen!”

 I look in the direction of the shout – Ronald hurries over to us with a tear-stained face … and … and I cannot help but smile, because I didn’t expect him to compose himself so quickly.

 The gap is closed between us. “C-Carmen, I’m really sorry. I … I didn’t mean ta shout.”

 She puts up no fight as she is passed to her mother. “You were mean, Mommy!” She pouts.

 “I … I know. I really am sorry.”

 She huffs, but cuddles up to him. I think he is forgiven. “I was just trying to help, Mommy.”

 “Yeah, I know, Kiddo.” He takes his arm away from her, to wipe at his cheeks, before hugging her tightly again. “Did tha fairies really tell y’ things are gonna be alright?”

 “Yeah!” Her eyes light up. “So don’t be sad! They said things come round in circles, so you’ll see Auntie Grell again!”

 Circles –

 Ronald pales, his eyes going wide. But he seems to shake it off, smiles at her. “Okay, Kiddo, sounds good.”

 Circles … really?

 A child’s fantasy, and nothing more, but still, it is very sweet.

 She really is just trying to help.

 Bless her.

\-----------------------

***8.37pm***

 “Othello?” Pleasantries seem not to be getting through to him. To the point then, I suppose ….

 “Othello … I have to ask ….” Pausing, I think of how best to put this. “I phoned the funeral directors earlier … and they told me … you haven’t made any funeral arrangements?”

 I am met with silence once again. “If you need help arranging the … funeral, I don’t mind?”

 Nothing.

 “Othello, you know you need to – you cannot leave her ….” I trail off, the sound of my voice, and nothing more, filling me with discomfort.

 Say something, would you?

 “Othello?”

 He continues to stare off into the distance, straight through me.

 I … I think we are done here ….

 I don’t see him snapping out of his daze tonight, uttering a single word.

 “We really do need to begin preparations. I shall … start, and if there is anything you think she would like, you can phone me.”

 Nothing.

 “I will see you tomorrow.” I will need to – I cannot just leave him here, in the dark, alone.

 I turn –

 “R-red.”

 My hearts skips – I wasn’t expecting him to speak. “P-pardon?”

 “M-make it red. She … she liked red.”

 “The funeral decorations?” I receive a slow nod as he continues to refuse eye contact. “Understood. Y-you take care.”

\----------------------

 “Man … poor guy.” Ronald pulls his feet up onto the couch, rests his chin on his knees.

 “Yes … he does seem to be suffering.”

 “We … we should do somethin’ ta help him.”

 “I shall check up on him tomorrow … but honestly, I think he needs space to grieve.”

 “R-right. If … if he doesn’t ge’ any better though -.”

 “We will try to help him, yes.”

 “G-good.”

 I turn to face the television again, some rubbish that Ronald decided to put on blaring at me.

 “Hey … Will?”

 “Yes?”

 “W-we’re alright, yeah?” 

 Hm? “Why wouldn’t we be?”

 “B-because of earlier … wi’, wi’ Carmen?”

 “Oh, Ronald, of course we are.” Reaching out, I pat his leg. “I’m not mad. She _was_ a little … full-on earlier.”

 “Y-yeah, she was … but still ….”

 “With the stress you’ve been under, it’s understandable. Parents, we aren’t perfect beings, so don’t be too hard on yourself.”

 “Y-yeah, okay.”

 “But … she _is_ only a child, and she won’t always know when to let things be.”

 “Yeah … gotcha. I … I won’t do it again.”

 “I know.” He was so horrified by his own outburst that I know he won’t snap at her again. I know that, for certain.

 My arm wraps around him, a silent gesture to reassure him that I really am not mad. “Should we head to bed?”

 “If y’ wanna?”

 “I do. This programme is terrible.”

 He chuckles close to my ear. “Yeah, it’s shit.”

\-----------------------

***9.12pm***

 I glance over at Ronald. He is still awake, yet he has been awfully quiet since we came upstairs. “Are you alright?”

 “Y-yeah, yeah, I’m alright.”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Yeah. Jus’ okay, but yeah.” He shuffles a little closer. “I … I’m hangin’ in there.”

 “Yes … alright.”

 “Are y’ okay?”

 My heart drops into my stomach. I haven’t been asked that since – haven’t thought on it properly … but now I am, and I am not alright. I’m not.

 “N-no, not really.”

 Rolling over, he wraps his arms around me, cuddles me tightly. He … he must know I need not words, but a hug.

 Don’t cry, William, don’t –

 Dammit ….

 A … a sob slips.

 Dammit.

 And still, he doesn’t say a word. He just tightens his grip.

 Maybe he doesn’t know what to say, but God, his hold helps.

 I hug back.

 It helps.

\-------------------------

***Friday 10th December***

***12.42am***

 Again, I cannot sleep … but for a different reason to last night. The funeral – is it going to be rather expensive, and though the money itself isn’t an issue … do I ask Othello to pay me back?

 Is it right to …?

 Yes, of course it is.

 He is her, was her husband ….

 But still, he is in such a state ….

 I sigh, roll onto my back to stare up at the ceiling.

 Why does it matter?

 I am in no rush. I can speak to him … once the dust has settled.

 No … no, that isn’t it. That isn’t it, at all ….

 Even with all the funds I have, will I get this right? Will the funeral be exactly how she would have wished it to be?

 Of course not.

 I didn’t know her like Othello did … like Eric did, and neither of them are of sound enough mind at present to help me.

 I am in over my head.

 Honestly ….

 My eyes are so painfully heavy … and my head aches … throbs.

 Sleep. I really do need to sleep ….

**Ring! Ring!**

 A phone? At this time –

 I snatch it up. It is Ronald’s – Alan?

 My stomach rolls – not … not someone else –

 “Yes, h-hello?”

 “William, I, I -.”

 “What is it? What has happened?” The panic in his –

 “Eric – I … I can’t – he … he got mad, and he left, and I’ve looked. I’ve looked everywhere. But, but, I can’t, I can’t f-find him.”

 “Okay, try, try to calm down.” He is all but crying down the phone. “We will be right there.”

 “H-hurry, please.”


	24. William. Searching, everywhere, throughout the night.

 I hear Ronald yawn as we hurry to get changed. We considered rushing out the door clad in only our nightclothes, but if we are to go out searching in December conditions, we really must wrap up warm.

 Another yawn as I pull on the second sock. I straighten up. “You seem tired.”

 “Yeah, a bit.”

 “Do you want to stay here while I -?”

 “Na, na, I’ll be fine.”

 “Are you -?”

 “Yeah, I’m sure. He probs needs tha both of us.”

 “Yes … good point.”

 His coat is pulled on. “Uh … who’s gonna ‘ave Carmen?”

 “Oh, I … I hadn’t thought of that.”

 “Well, we can’t take her ta Al’s, right? If she sees him upset, she might ge’ upset too.”

 “Yes … yes ….” Think, think ….

 “Hm, Jay?”

 “Yes … that should work.”

 Honestly, I do feel a little guilty at times. We call on him to help us … far too often ….

\----------------

***12.50am***

 “Really?” Jay asks. “Jesus ….”

 “Yes … really.”

 “Is Alan going to be okay?”

 “He will be once we find Eric.” Carmen is passed over to him, her head bobbing up and down as sleep overtakes once more.

 “Hn … what’s going on?” Evan appears behind him, blinking sleepily.

 “Eric’s gone missing, so Carmen’s staying over while Ronnie and William go to look for him.”

 “Oh ….”

 Jay turns back to me. “I can help search for him, if you want?”

 “Na, na, it’s alright,” Ronald says.

 “Yes, you are doing enough already.”

 “Go ….” Evan yawns. “I can watch Carmen. It’s fine.”

 “Are you quite sure?” I ask.

 “Yeah.” He yawns again, loudly. “It’s fine, really.” Carmen is taken from Jay, held tightly to his chest. “Hey, sweetie. Aww, someone’s sleepy, aren’t they? I’m super sleepy too.”

 He flops down in a chair close to him, and – is he asleep already?

 Jay rolls his eyes at him as he chuckles, then looks at me again. “Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be right with you.”

 “Of course.” Thank you.

\------------------------

***12.57am***

 The door opens, Alan sniffing loudly in front of us. He … he looks defeated, completely drained.

 “R-Ronnie ….” He holds his hand up to his mouth, a sob –

 “Mate.” Ronald pulls him close, wraps his arms around him. “It’s okay. Hey, come on, don’t cry. We’ll find him.”

 “N-no, I … I’ve looked ev-everywhere – what, what if he’s gone to the human world? The warning! I … I didn’t tell him about the – he’s barely sp-spoken to me, so I didn’t -.”

 “He’ll be alright. He can look after himself.”

 “S-so could Grell.”

 I hear a sharp intake of breath from Ronald.

 “Why don’t you explain to us what happened? And then we can figure out where to search,” I say.

 His eyes squeeze shut. “O-okay.”

\------------------------                                                                

 Othello … really ….

 I … I am quite surprised that he flew into a rage, that he did … anything ….

 “So, where have you already looked?” Jay leans forward, his arms resting on his knees.

 “Ev-everywhere … all his favourite places.”

 “In just this realm, I assume?” I ask.

 “Y-yes.”

 “Then he’s probably jus’ chillin’ at a bar in London somewhere,” Ronald smiles, patting Alan on the shoulder. “One of our hangout spots, y’ know?”

 Alan nods slowly. “Probably … b-but I have no idea – we’ve been to so many.”

 “Well, we’ll jus’ ‘ave ta go ta them all.”

 Alan manages a smile. “We will.”

\------------------

***4.14am***

 We searched for hours, inside of crowded bars and noisy clubs … around landmarks, through Hyde Park … but to no avail.

 We didn’t want to call off the search, for Alan’s sake, but it was getting rather late, and we had no idea where else to search. We really had exhausted all options.

 Jay returned home, and now … Alan is beside himself, crying into Ronald’s shoulder as my husband does his best to comfort him.

 “It’ll be alright, mate.” He rubs at his upper arm softly. “He’ll come back.”

 Alan chokes on a sob.

 “Jus’ try ta ge’ some sleep, yeah? He’ll be back by tha time y’ wake up. Promise.”

 A small, high-pitched hiccup comes from him.

 “Ronald is right. He won’t stay away for long.”

 I do not quite believe my own words, am a little concerned for his safety, and I am sure Ronald feels the same … but still, Alan is so upset ….

 We have no choice but to reassure him.  

 “If … if something has ha-happened to h-him, I -.”

 “Nothing’s happened ta him. He jus’ needs a bit of space ta ge’ his head right.”

 “I don’t – I … I’m so worried ….”

 “I know, but y’ll feel better once y’ ge’ some sleep.”

 A shaky sigh comes from him. “Y-you’re probably right. I-I’ll try.” With a sniff, he pulls his legs up onto the couch, curls into Ronald a little more. “N-night.”

 “Night, Mate.”

\--------------------

***4.27am***

 Alan, to my surprise, fell asleep quite quickly. No … it shouldn’t have been surprising – I imagine he hasn’t been getting much sleep lately either.

 My yawn fills the air. Another night without rest ….

 “Y’ should ge’ Carmen and head home, Will.”

 “Are you sure?” The eagerness in my voice is a little too evident ….

 “Yeah. She’s gonna be pissed if she wakes up and one of us isn’t there. And … y’ look knackered, babe.”

 “I … I am quite tired.” Still …. “But are you quite sure?”

 I am given a smile. “Yeah.”

 “Well -.”

 “Will, I’ll be fine, really. Don’t worry.”

 “Yes … alright.”

 I stand up from the chair, glad to be going home … so very glad.

 As I glance at Alan, at his dishevelled appearance, my eyebrow twitches.

 Eric, if you are alright, come home, you fool ….  


	25. Side story chapter 1. I'm lonely too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took a week to update one chap, but this got so long! And I only had one day off of work last week.  
> And if there are any typos, sorry. 3500+ words start to blur together after a while.  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Next chap will be super short, so should be up in a few days.

***Saturday 15th November 1800***

***10.02pm***

 A small tavern on the outskirts of London buzzed with activity. It had long since been knocked down, replaced by modern-day office buildings, but in the 1800s, it was a bustling gathering point for reapers.

 Grell Sutcliff sighed deeply. This was her last chance, the last man standing. She couldn’t afford to be rejected this time.

 Swinging her handbag over her shoulder, she plastered a fake smile on her face, and began to trot through the hall. Her heels clicked on the wooden floor as she neared a small table right at the very back of the room.

 Reaching it, she undid the top button on her blouse, pulling it open a little. Got to impress.

 “Drinking alone, are we?”

 The blonde man at the table let out an exasperated sigh, slamming his bottle of whiskey down. The bartender had long given up on trying to sell him shots – it was a waste of time.

 “What do yer want?”

 “Just a chat.”

 “Hn, no one chats tae me. None of yer English bastards want anything tae do with a Scot. Most cannae even understand me.”

 “I -.”

 “Which means,” he smirked up at her, “yer’re desperate.”

 “That isn’t it -.”

 “Aye, it is. Ah know who yer are. Ah’ve overheard the whispers going around, yer whore.”

 Grell gasped. “How rude!”

 Grabbing his bottle, he swirled what little was left of the liquid around slowly. “Aye, well, never said ah was nice, Missy.”

 _Missy? Ohhh, I like him._ She plonked herself down on the bench next to him. “I think I’ll stay here for a little while.”

 He sighed deeply. “Do what yer like. Ah really don’t care.”

 “Hmm.” Placing her elbow on the table, she leaned in close to him. “So, tell me, where in Scotland are you from?”

 Another sigh. He really didn’t have the energy to engage in conversation. But still, he knew she wasn’t going anywhere. “A wee place not far from Glasgow.”

 “Oh, Glasgow! How exciting! A city -.”

 “It wasn’t very big back then.”

 “Back then? How old are you?!”

 “The 1300s.”

 “Whattt?!” She shrieked. “Oh my, so handsome for someone so old.”

 “Hn.”

 She gasped suddenly. “So … you’ve been drinking all on your lonesome for over four-hundred years?”

 No reply was given, Eric’s shoulders slumping slightly.

 “Touchy subject, mmm? Well … I’ve only recently graduated.”

 “And yer’ve already sunk yerr teeth intae all the men at branch.”

 Grell let out a gasp. “You’re so rude!”

 But still, she wasn’t going to give up. Not this time. Not on this man.

\-------------------

***Sunday 16th November***

***2.33am***

 The hours had rolled on, Eric relaxing in Grell’s company. They were both quite tipsy by now, chatting away, laughing at stupid jokes.

 It was time, Grell thought, to ask again.

 “So … you’ve been all alone for centuries?”

 The blonde froze mid-swig. “A-aye …. It … it’s my own fault, ah guess. Ah … ah never wanted tae be a reaper … so ah didn’t bother with my collections. The supervisor wasn’t pleased, so he shipped me tae London, hoped they’d be able tae set me straight.”

 “Mmm, management here are quite brutal.”

 Eric scoffed. “Aye, and it didn’t help in the slightest.” He chugged down the last of his second bottle, his tolerance built high from centuries of drinking. “It just made everything worse. No one here wanted tae associate with an outsider, so ….” The bottle slammed down on the table. “Ah never wanted tae be here in the first – it’d be easier if ah were dead.”

 “Well, if you feel so strongly about that, just fall on your own scythe.”

 He glared at her. “Funny.”

 “Hmm. But I understand it.” She rested her head against his upper arm. _Please don’t push me away …._ “I’m lonely too.”

 “Aye ….”

 Her hope grew as he sat still against her. Her soft hand ran up his chest slowly. “It’s getting rather late, isn’t it?” She breathed.

 “Aye, ah suppose.” He didn’t really think so – he was usually there until sunrise, until all the other customers had long since gone home.

 “Want to come to mine?” She grinned, her eyelashes fluttering at him.

 “Ah -.”

 “Or I can come to yours? I don’t mind.”

 He let out a sigh. “Aye, why not ….”

 He honestly wasn’t bothered either way, couldn’t find it in himself to care. He’d been so worn down by decades of being shunned that nothing excited him anymore. Nothing made him happy.

 But still, going home with her couldn’t make his life any more miserable. What did he have left to lose?   

\---------------------------

 “Ahhhh.” The kitchen door banged against the wall as the two stumbled in, Grell moaning between their locked lips.

 Eric grunted. She was a good kisser, he’d admit.

 He was dragged over to the table, Grell sitting on the edge of it. She pulled him close, his body filling the gap between her open legs. Her hands roamed, all over his body, pawing at his back and chest.

 His shirt was yanked up. The kiss broke suddenly.

 “Slow down, would yer? Ah cannae catch my breath.” She really was all over him.

 “I don’t want to,” she pouted.

 “Ah -.”

 “What’s the matter, Darling?” Gripping onto his rear, she pulled him even closer, her erection pressing against his crotch. “Never done this with someone like me before, mmm?”

 “Ah -.”

 “Don’t be frightened,” she grinned. “I’ll show you how.”

 “Ock, ah’m not frightened.”

 “Mmm?” She stared up at him.

 “Ah’m not,” he grunted at her.

 “Well -.” Her words were cut off by a powerful kiss. She smirked into it – her plan to get him worked up had succeeded. He wasn’t going to hold back now.

 His shirt was hitched up, Eric pulling away to let her ease it over his head. She purred at him, her hands running slowly up his chest. “You’re so chiselled, Darling.”

 Her hands slid down to his jeans, her fingers working quickly to pop the button open, pull down his zipper.

 “Mmm.” She rubbed against his bulge. “It’s so hard, Darling, I can’t wait to see it.”

 With a tug, his jeans came down, along with his underwear, revealing his throbbing cock.

 “Ohhh.” A finger was rubbed against his slit, drawing a grunt from between his lips. “You’re so excited, aren’t you? Well, I shan’t keep you waiting any longer.”

 Lifting her hips from the table, she eased her trousers and lacey underwear down. The garments were kicked to the floor, and she turned over, waving her pert rear seductively in the air.

 Eric let out a deep breath. She was really turning him on.

 “There’s some massage oil in my handbag, Darling.”

 “Aye, alright ….”

\-----------------

 “Ahhh. Mmmmm.” Grell rocked her hips, pressed herself back against Eric’s hand, desperate to take his fingers deeper.

 “Is that enough?” He asked.

 “Oohh, someone is eager, aren’t they?”

 The blonde huffed. “Ah was just asking.”

 “Hmm … well, you _are_ quite big, but yes, I think that should do it.”

 Eric rolled his eyes as he withdrew his fingers. A simple ‘yes’ would have sufficed.

 Holding himself, he lined himself up to her entrance, and pushed in, all the way.

 “Ah!” Grell threw her head back. “Ohhhh.”

 Eric grunted deeply. It felt so good.

 He began to move within her, slow, steady thrusts.

 “Ock ….” He gripped onto her hips, his nails digging in as he picked up speed. He began to ram into her, the force of his thrusts causing the table to inch across the floor. “Ahh ….”

 “Oh, Darling! You’re being so rough! Ohhh, you really needed this, didn’t you?!”

 “Jesus Chr – do yer ever stop talking? Shut up, would yer?”

 “So rude!” Grell wondered if all Scotsmen were so rude, or if Eric was just an arse. Probably the latter. “Ah!” The thought soon left her mind as Eric brushed against her spot. “Ohh! There! Right there, Darling!”

 Eric groaned as she clamped around him, and complied, hutting her in just the right place with every thrust.

 Her nails scraped against the table as pressure built in her stomach, her hips moving in time with his thrusts. She wanted him in deeper, as deep as he could go.

 “Ah!” Her body tensed as pleasure coursed through her, her toes curling as she experienced an intense orgasm.

 The blonde groaned at her tightness, continued to pound into her, harder and harder.

 “Arhhh!”

 His thrusts turned sloppy as he grew close, his cock throbbing, begging for release.

 A throaty groan left him, his nails cutting deeper into her hips as he came inside of her.

 Grell shuddered. “Oh, Darling, you filled me up so much.”

 Eric pulled out, panting. “Aye ….”

 A few wobbly steps were taken, before he turned, headed for the door.

 Grell sat up quickly, frowned. “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?”

 He turned back to face her. “Tae bed?”

 She jumped up from the table, hurried towards him. “I’m coming too!”

 “Alright, whatever ….”

 She followed him up to his bedroom, and as he flopped into bed, she crawled in on the other side.

 She curled up to him. _Please don’t push me away …._

 And he didn’t. Though he didn’t move to hold her, he didn’t move away either.

 For her, that was enough.

 “Night, Darling.”

 “Night.”

\--------------------

***10.16am***

 Grell blinked awake, feeling someone next to her. She frowned, was confused for a moment, before the events of the night came back to her. _Ah._

 “Morning, Darling.”

 She expected him to tell her to leave – they all did – but to her surprise, a gruff voice said “morning.”

 Smiling, she snuggled closer. “You were amazing last night.”

 “Aye, yer weren’t bad yerself.”

 “Mmmm. Do you have work today?”

 “Nah.”

 “Ohhh, lucky you. I do, but not until the afternoon.”

 “Alright.”

 Her hand ran up his bare chest. “I would rather -.”

 “Grell,” he sighed, “ah’m trying tae sleep here.”

 She pouted at him. “But you were already awake.”

 “Aye, because yerr snoring woke me up.”

 A loud, overly dramatic gasp came from her. “I don’t snore! I – hmphhh!”

 His large hand had clamped over her mouth. “Lass, please, for the love of God, be quiet.”

 A muffled “fine” was heard.

 His hand slipped back onto the covers. “Thank yer.”

 ….

 ….

 “Darling ….?”

 “Ock, what now?”

 “Can I use your shower? You really made a mess inside me last night.”

 “Aye … fine by me.”

 She jumped up from the bed like an excited child, rushed from the room.

 “End of the hall!” Eric called after her.

 “Okay, Darling!”

 Sighing deeply, he turned over in bed, found a comfortable position.

 Peace and quiet, thank God.

 Stepping into the shower, Grell began to wash herself down. She hummed happily to herself.

 She was happy, happier than she’d been in a while.

 Eric was rude, standoffish, but he hadn’t thrown her out like rubbish after their night of passion, hadn’t wanted her just for sex. And he hadn’t put her down for the way she looked, like most of the association.

 She could tell that he was a good man, deep down.

 She was onto a winner.

\-------------

***Monday 17th November***

***2.12am***

 Grell had left around noon, and fourteen hours later, Eric heard a knock on his front door. With a frown, he snatched up his whiskey bottle, and went to take a look.

 As he picked up his keys, went over to the door, it was knocked on again. “Alright! Ah’m coming! Ah’m coming. Jesus … have a bit of patience,” he muttered.

 The key was jammed into the lock, turned. He pulled it open, came face to face with the grinning redhead.

 He was stunned. “Y-yer remembered where ah lived?”

 “Of course I did! After the amazing time we had last night, how couldn’t I? I went to the tavern, but you weren’t there, so -.”

 “Aye … because ah don’t always spend my nights there?” He snarked. “It gets old quick. And besides,” he lifted up his whiskey bottle, “it’s cheaper tae drink here.”

 “Hmm, very true, Darling.” She tried to step inside, but he blocked her path. “What are you -?!”

 “Yer should go home.”

 “What?! Why?!”

 “Look ….” He sighed deeply. “Last night was great and all … but … ah’m not interested.”

 “Interested?”

 “Aye, in dating.”

 A shrill laugh came from her. “Oh, Darling, no! You misunderstand me.” She waved a hand in front of her face. “I don’t want to date you either.”

 Eric pulled a face. “Yer … don’t?” He really didn’t believe her.

 “Of course not. Don’t get me wrong, you’re handsome, but you’re not really my type.”

 “Ahh ….”

 “I just want a bit of fun.” She plucked the bottle from his hand, pushed past him. “Is that so wrong?”

 “Fun – uh – hey!” He hurried after her, into the living room. “Ah didn’t say yer could come in.”

 “Hmm?” She pouted at him as she sat down. “But you already invited me in, don’t you remember? Last night, mmmm.”

 Eric sighed in defeat, rubbed at his temple. _I fucking give up …._

\--------------------

***5.11am***

 The hours rolled on, the two having played card games for much of that time. Now, they were sharing Eric’s bottle, Grell giggling shrilly as they chatted away.

 Eric chuckled. She really did make for entertaining company.

 The bottle was snatched from Eric’s hand, Grell taking a large swig. She fell against him, rested her head on his chest. “Mmm … all gone ….” The bottle was shaken, and then dropped to the floor. “Hmmm.”

 She pulled herself up his body, her lips pressing to his.

 He returned the kiss, his arms wrapping around her back.

 Just to have company, someone to talk to, spend time with – it was nice. It was so nice.   

\-------------------

 “Ahhh!” Her nails clawed deeply into his back as the sofa creaked beneath them. “Eric … hmmmm ….”

 She reached her climax, Eric following soon after.

 “Mmmm.”

 He collapsed down onto her, the both of them panting heavily.

 “Eric, Darling … you’re crushing me.”

 “Hn.”

 “You’re heavy! Move already!”

 “Hnnn.”

 Sighing, she wrapped her arms around his bloodied back. “Bed?”

 “Aye, bed. Just give me a minute.”

 After a little while, they headed upstairs. Grell got into bed at his side, rested her head on his shoulder. “Mmm, you’ve really tired me out, Darling.”

 “Aye. Night.”

 “Goodnight, Darling.”

\-----------------------

***Monday 1st December***

***12.43am***

 Two weeks passed, and the two were growing closer day by day. Grell would come over most nights, stay up with him until the early hours of the morning to drink and chat away, work schedule permitting.

 Tonight was not one of those nights, and Eric sat in his armchair in the living room, not knowing what to do with himself. Grell got on his nerves most of the time, no doubt about that … but still, the loneliness was creeping in without her.

 With a sigh, he got up, headed towards the stairs. May as well just call it a night. Nothing else to do.

\--------------------

***6.34am***

 The Scotsman awoke at around half six in the morning, his need for the toilet pulling him from sleep. As he turned, he frowned. There was someone laying next to him?

 His glasses were grabbed, put on, and as things came into focus, he came face to face with the redhead.

 His face fell. “Jesus Chri – fucking stalker ….”

 But she looked so sweet, so peaceful laying at his side.

 He sighed deeply. He didn’t want to risk waking her from her sweet slumber.

 Gently gripping her wrists, he slid her close. She smiled softly as he wrapped his arm around her carefully.

 There was no helping it. He’d have to hold his bladder.   

\---------------------

***Sunday 7th December***

***2.11am***

 Early Sunday morning came, and Grell had drank far too much. She swayed on the sofa, waving the bottle of alcohol around without thought. “You’re sooo silly, Darlingggg!”

 “Huh? Wh -?”

 “Thinking you’d be better off being dead than a reaper. It’s better,” she hiccupped, “than being in hell.”

 He sighed, took a swig from his own bottle. “Ah think when the bible says yer’ll end up in hell for killing yerself, they mean here. This is hell.”

 “Nooo, silly, we can be forgiven, so this isn’t the real hell.”

 “Ock, aye,” he scoffed, “and then we’ll end up in purgatory for God knows how long.”

 “No, sweetie, we’ll go to heaven.”

 He looked away. “Life’s never that kind ….”

 “Mmm.” She scooted closer. “Well, is this place less hellish than it was?”

 “Aye, it is … thank yer.”

\--------------------------

***Tuesday 23rd December***

***12.33am***

 “Do you think I’m pretty, Darling?” Grell asked as she cuddled up to Eric’s sweaty form post sex.

 “Aye, of course ah do.”

 “Do you think … I’m … beautiful?”

 “Aye … ah do actually, apart from those damn teeth. They scare the shite out of me.”

 The redhead laughed. “They have that effect on most people.”

 “Aye.”

 Her nails ran down his chest. “I find you very handsome too.”

 “Grell … I’ve told yer … ah like yer, but not like that.”

 “Oh, I know. It’s just nice to be told you’re beautiful.” She turned, nibbled at his shoulder.

 “Ahh ….” The blood began to run south for the second time that day.

 With a moan, she sunk her teeth into his flesh.

 “Ock! Ow, yer – don’t bite me!”

 “Ohhh, but you seem to like it.” She grabbed hold of him, squeezed him. “Look, you’re getting hard already.”

 “Give me a break, would yer? My dick’s going tae drop off at this rate.”

\----------------

***Thursday 5th February 1801***

 A little time passed, the two having exchanged gifts at Christmas. Just little trinkets, but the gesture meant a lot to the both of them.

 Grell began to wear makeup, grow her hair out. It was pleasing to Eric, to say the least.

 The blonde walked through the halls on route to his office, had to write up a report after his most recent collections. As he turned a corner, he spotted Grell standing with her hand on her hip. She was facing away from him, chatting away to a scrawny young man with messy, black hair.

 “Hm.”

 He walked past them, and headed into his office.

 A while passed, the blonde sighing as he worked through a slog of paperwork.

 When he heard the door open, he was thankful for the intrusion.

 Glancing up, he saw Grell pouting at him. She looked pissed. “What is it?”

 “Why didn’t you say hello to me earlier?”

 “When?” He frowned.

 “When you passed me in the hallway.” She slammed her heel down onto the ground. “You ignored me!”

 “Oh … yer seemed busy talking tae that guy. Didn’t want tae interrupt anything.”

 “You make it sound like there’s something going on.”

 “Well, isn’t there?”

 “With Othello?” She laughed. “That’s funny, Darling.”

 “Ah -.”

 “He’s sweet and all, but he’s just a boy, and I need a man.”

 “Ahh ….”

 “So don’t ignore me next time!”

 The blonde chuckled. “Sorry.”

 “Hn.”

\----------------------

***Saturday 28th February***

***10.05am***

 A few weeks later, Grell awoke to a wonderful smell. “Mmm.” She grabbed her glasses, slid them on.

 “Morning.”

 “Hmm ….” She put her hand to her mouth, yawning softly. “Morning, Darling.”

 A paper bag was held out. “Shortbread?”

 “For me? Aww, Darling, you really didn’t have to.”

 “Ah just fancied something from the bakery, so ah thought ah’d get yer something too.”

 “Such a gentleman.” She smiled to herself as she took the bag from him, not a grin, but a genuine happy smile. The act had touched her greatly.

 Not wanting to have to lie in crumbs later, she got out of bed, scooted to the edge of it on her bottom.

 As she opened up the bag, dove her hand in, Eric got onto the bed behind her, a leg either side of her. His arms wrapped around her gently, his chin resting atop her head.

 She smiled in his embrace, pressed herself closer to him.

 Contentment washed over her.

 Eric could be a blunt arse at times, no doubt about it, but he had a heart of gold. He cared. As the months dragged on, she was seeing that more and more.

 “What did you get yourself, Eric Dear?”

 “Bread pudding.”

 “Eurgh!”

\----------------------

***Friday 3rd April***

***5.02pm***

 Eric glanced up as he felt a rush of air – Grell had just ported in. Blood caked the corner of her mouth, another patch crusty amongst her eyebrow hair.

 Not at all concerned by it, he picked up his packet of cigarettes, relaxed back on the sofa. “Yer fall off a roof or something?”

 “Er-Eric … Darling ….”

 Her tone caught him off guard – she sounded upset.

 He shot up from his seat, “what’s wrong?”, hurried up to her. “Lass, what happened?” His strong arms wrapped around her.

 “Th-they called me a freak.”

 “What? Someone did this tae yer?” Rage erupted within him. “Who? Tell me the bastard who did this, and ah’ll -.”

 “N-no need, Darling. I made them pay.” She buried her head in his shoulder. “But still, the cuts in my heart aren’t so easily avenged. I … I feel hideous.”

 “Ock, yer’re not -.”

 “I am! I … I am. That’s what they said.”

 “They’re talking shite. Yer’re gorgeous, Lass.”

 “No -.”

 “Aye. Ah’ve told yer before; yer’re beautiful.” She sniffed against him, fighting to hold back the tears. Their cruel words had affected her deeply.

 He guided her over to the sofa. “Come on. Ah think someone needs a cuddle.”

 She nodded against him as she clung to the sleeve of his long-sleeved shirt. As they sat down, she curled into his side.

 His hand came down on her back, patting it lightly. “There, there, Lass. Don’t let those bastards get tae yer. They don’t know what they’re on about.”

\------------------

***9.28pm***

 The hours had gone on, Grell feeling a little better with each one that passed. They kissed on the sofa, but Grell pulled away as it became heated.

 She glanced away. “I’m sorry, Darling. I’m not feeling very frisky tonight.”

 “That’s alright, Lass.” Leaning forward, he picked up a deck of cards. “Fancy a game?”

 “Oh, but you always beat me.”

 He snickered. “Ah know.”

\-----------------------

***11.13pm***

 The two were snuggled in bed now, but the redhead couldn’t sleep, and not just because of the day’s events. “It’s quite chilly in here, isn’t it, Darling?”

 “Yer think?” He felt fine.

 “Mmmm.”

 “Alright. Hang on.” Getting out from under the sheets, he walked up to the wardrobe. A large woollen, tartan blanket was pulled from the top of it.

 He laid it over the quilt, tucked it around her a little. Getting back into bed, he soothed at her back through the thick blanket.

 “Thank you.”

 “No bother. Better?”

 “Mmm … it’s very warm.”

 “Aye, that’s Scottish wool for yer,” he smiled.

 She snuggled back up to him, sighed softly.

 He really was a sweetheart.

\--------------------------

 The years passed by quickly, the two growing closer month on month. Grell was annoying at times, and clingy, very clingy, following Eric around like a love-sick puppy, but Eric didn’t mind it, not at all. She’d extended a hand to him when no one else would, and he was eternally grateful for that.

 In many ways, she had saved him.

 He became more outgoing, would talk to more people, because if Grell would accept an outsider, maybe others would too.

 And they did. Over time, he built up a small group of acquaintances, let flirty women drag him home with them when Grell was suck at work.

 But she didn’t mind all that much, because he always came back to her, because she was his world.

 He was finally happy.

 And so was Grell. To have a friend, someone who truly cared about her – nothing could compare.

 Two desperately lonely, broken souls had found each other, had helped each other through the toughest of times.

 They saved each other, and themselves.  

 Eric didn’t know what he would have done without her. He really didn’t.

 When Alan came onto the scene, the two remained good friends, but Eric would often look back, worry that he’d hurt her. She had never expected their fun to end.

 And now, in present day, he sat against the office building where the tavern once stood all those years ago, and remembered, just remembered the good times.

 And God, it hurt, it hurt so badly to remember, because she wasn’t there, and she wasn’t coming back, and she had taken a chunk of him with her.

 He stared up at the starry sky.

 Life felt empty now. So painfully empty.


	26. Alan. Please just let me in.

***6.02am***

 “Hm?” What? I can hear – Ronnie’s asleep – Eric?

 “Eric?!” I jump up, rush in the direction of –

 He’s here, right in front of me. He … he’s home, safe. He’s safe.

 “Eric, thank goodness. I … I was so worried. I thought – where were you? Eric …?”

 He … he doesn’t reply, doesn’t even look at me as he goes up the stairs.

 “Eric, pl-please -.”

 “Ah went tae the old tavern.”

 What? “The tavern? But that was knocked -.”

 “Ah know that!”

 “I -.”

 “Look, ah need some space, alright?”

 “No, you -.”

 “Leave me alone!”

 “No! Eric, I’m sorry about what Othello said, I am, b-but I really was just trying to -.”

 “Ah don’t -.”

 “You can’t keep pushing me away!  Eric, please, I know you’re upset -.”

 “Yer don’t know shite!”

 “I -.”

 He … he’s g-gone, vanishing before my eyes again.

 I … I can’t –

 The bedroom door slams.

 Eric ….

 He … he wanted so badly to get away from me ….

 Why … why won’t you just talk to me?

 I … I just want to help ….

\-----------------

***6.20am***

 “There, there, mate.”

 I … I feel awful. I broke down completely and Ronnie … Ronnie’s grieving so badly, but he’s here trying to reassure me. He’s the one comforting me.

 He shouldn’t have to.  

 “He’ll come round. Jus’ give him a bit of time, yeah?”

 “Y-yes.”

 I … I don’t know. I just don’t know.

 Eric … I … I need you to talk to me … please ….  

\--------------

***Thursday 16th December***

***7.23pm***

 I … I can’t take this anymore, Eric shutting himself away in the bedroom, refusing to talk to me. Every time … every time I see him, every time I try to reach out to him, I’m blanked, p-pushed away.

 I’m trying, I’m trying so hard to help him, but he just won’t talk to me. He won’t –

 The funeral is tomorrow, and I want to be there to comfort him, but, but how can I when he won’t even –

 And I understand that he’s grieving, I really do, but I’m his husband. He should feel like he can open up to me, at least, if no one else.

 I need to get through to him – I can’t take the silence, feeling all alone in this house.

 I can’t take seeing him in … in so much p-pain ….

 I just can’t.

\-----------------

***8.01pm***

 “Eric, please – you need to -.”

 “Ah said -!”

 “No! You can’t keep pushing me away! I know you’re upset, and I understand, but -.”

 “Yer don’t understand!”

 “I, I do, I -.”

 “How can yer?! Yer weren’t there! Yer don’t know what it was like back then!”

 “Back -?”

 “Ah had no one, alright?! Ah … ah was so lonely, ah’d given up. But she … she came. She helped me when no one else would.”

 I watch as … as his eyes fill with tears. “Eric -.”

 “Ah … ah was so lonely – yer … yer cannae – she meant the world tae me, so don’t pretend tae understand!”

 “I -.”

 “Yer didn’t know her like ah did!”

 “I … I know, b-but -.”

 “But what?!” He … he’s glaring at me. I can feel the rage – he … he’s making me feel so small.

 “Sh-she wouldn’t want to s-see you like this. She’d want you to be -.”

 “Be what?! Okay?!”

 “Yes! The drinking, cooping yourself up – she wouldn’t -.”

 “Yer stupid bastard!”

 My heart – he … he’s being so cruel …. “Er-Eric -.”

 “Yer really – she’d love the attention! She, she’d ….”

 N-no, no! Don’t walk away – “Wait! Eric, please, I just want to help. P-please just let-.”

 “Yer can’t!”

 He … he’s gone ….

 No … not again.

 Not –

 I crumble, hit the ground, and … and lose myself.

 I … I can’t, I can’t take this ….

 The carpet blurs.

 Why … why is he being so cruel …. Why?

 I, I don’t – what … what have I done so wrong? I … I don’t understand.

 I … I don’t –

 Please come back, please ….

 I … I love you. I love you so much. I … I just want to help.

 Let me help.

 Please ….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all join together and smack Eric. Yay!


	27. Side story chapter 2. What have you done?

***Saturday 29th September 1888***

***7.47pm***

 “Oi, Grell, yer in here?” Eric poked his head into Grell’s living room, but she wasn’t there.

 Years had gone by since Alan had come onto the scene, and though Eric and Grell had remained good friends, recently, things seemed different; Grell seemed different somehow.

 She was distant, like her mind was somewhere else.

 “Up here, Darling,” her voice rang out from the floor above.

 Eric hurried up the stairs, two steps at a time. As he pushed the bedroom door open, he frowned. “Yer going out?” He was hoping to spend the night talking to her, like he used to, figure out what the matter was.

 “I am,” she said as she slipped on a black coat – that in itself was strange. “I have somewhere to be in the human world.”

 He was taken aback. “The hu – but yer hate the -?”

 “Oh, I know, disgusting place it is, but I can’t pass up a date with such a gorgeous lady.”

 _What?_ “La – what? Ah, ah thought yer only liked -?”

 “Oooh!” Grell cut him off, shrieking at the time on the clock. “Sorry, Darling, but I really have to go. I’m running late!”

 She rushed past him.

 “Wait! Just, just wait a minute.”

 She turned in the doorway, eyebrow raising. “Hmm?”

 “Are yer … okay?”

 “Of course I am, Darling,” she laughed. “Well, I really must be going.” Before he could say another word, she’d disappeared before his eyes.

 He stood there, concern churning in his gut. Something wasn’t right.

\-------------------

***10.23pm***

 Eric walked the streets of London, searching for his friend. He didn’t have the faintest idea where in the city she could be, but he had to look; he had to find out what was going on.

 As he entered the Whitechapel area of London, a sick feeling came over him. He didn’t know why, but something was telling him he had to stay there; something was going to happen.

 He settled himself against a wall, his legs tired from the hours of walking, and waited.

 More hours passed, the time ticking by slowly as the steadily cooling air of the night lapped at his exposed skin.

 A sigh slipped from him. His gut feeling was most likely wrong.

 She wasn’t going to show.

 He stood up, almost fell again as a scream close by startled him.

 That sick feeling came back again, ten-fold. Heart-rate quickening, he hurried in the direction the scream had come from, stopping only when he heard a shrill laugh coming from around the corner.

 Grell.

 A lump formed in his throat. Whatever was going on, he could tell it wasn’t good. He didn’t want to look, but he had to; he had to know.

 Swallowing thickly, he looked around the corner of the building.

 His eyes widened, heart skipping a beat at the bloody, horrifying scene in front of him.

 It clicked.

 The Ripper Murders.

 Grell was Jack the Ripper.

 Eric was frozen in place, the shock overtaking him.

 "Grell ... wh-what have yer done ...?"

\------------------ 

***Sunday 30th September****

***1.22am***

 "N-no. She ... she couldn't. She wouldn't!" Alan paced around the kitchen in utter disbelief. "Y-you must have been seeing things.”

 Eric, who was hiding his face in his hands, gulped. "Ah … ah wasn’t …."

 "B-but are – it, it couldn’t have been her. You said there was another woman there, so maybe -."

 "It ... it was. She was covered in blood." 

 "But ... but how?" 

 "Ah ... ah don't know." 

 "Why would -?"

 "Ah don't know! Ah ... ah just don't know ...."

 Alan looked down at the ground, tears of shock pricking at his eyes. "I ... I can't believe this is ...." Swallowing thickly, he raised his head again. "Y-you need to tell William -."

 "What?!” His head snapped upwards. “No! Ah ... ah cannae do that."

 "But -."

 "They'll kill her! If, if they find out, she ... she'll be put tae death."

 Alan broke the eye contact again, looking away. "I ... I know, but ... but if we don't, more innocent people will die."

 "Ah know that!" He covered his face again, voice cracking. "Ah … know, b-but ... but ah, ah just cannae – sh-she's my best friend."

 "I know ... but if the higher-ups, if they find out that you knew about this and didn't say anything, you ... you'll be in big trouble too."

 “They won’t find out.”

 “You don’t know that!”

 “They won’t!”

 “You -.”

 “Stop! Ah … ah cannae, ah just cannae do that tae her, so … so just stop.”

 “O-okay ….” He sat at the table, defeated, looked down at his hands as he fiddled with them. Silence filled the air as he tried to come to terms with the news that hadn’t quite sunk in. He just couldn’t believe it.

\--------------------

***4.02am***

 The two sat in silence into the early hours of the morning, Eric clutching a bottle of whiskey.

 Alan let out a shaky breath. “Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 He scooted a little closer, turning to face his partner. “I … I know you don’t want Grell to get in trouble -.”

 “Al -.”

 “And I … I understand that, but -.”

 “Alan -.”

 “But, but I can’t just stand by and do no-nothing. I … I need to tell William, before anyone else dies.”

 “Yer cannae -!”

 “If I don’t, it, it’ll eat away at me. I … I can’t -.”

 “She’s our friend, Al!” He snapped.  

 Alan closed his eyes for the briefest of moments. _No … she’s not. Our friend wouldn’t do something so horrible …._ But, of course, those thoughts were left unspoken. “I … I know.” He chose his words carefully. “But … she’s going to be caught eventually, and, and if she keeps …. killing, her punishment will be worse.”

 “Hn.” He took a large swig of his drink, stared down at the floor. “She … she’s going tae be put tae … d-death either way.”

 “We … we don’t know that -.”

 “Al, ah -.”

 “I … I won’t even tell William the full story – I, I’ll just say she’s been acting strangely and I’m worried about her. Eric, please, you, you know this isn’t right. Please.”

 Eric looked at him, staring at the pleading look in his eyes. He was right. He knew he was right. A defeated sigh escaped him. “Do what yer like ….”

 “Eric -.”

 “It … it’s fine. Yer, yer’re right.”

 “O-okay.” He reached out a hand, fingers interlocking with Eric’s. “I’m sorry.”

 Eric nodded slowly, feeling Alan squeezing his hand. He squeezed back.

\--------------------

 They soon learned that there had been no need to speak to William. He’d already been suspicious that Jack the Ripper was a reaper, had been scrutinising the death records for a while.

 When the final murder happened, William was there, waiting.

 Grell was caught, and carted off to jail to await her punishment.


	28. William. Of death and damning pasts.

***Friday 17th December***

***2.33pm***

 Ronald clings to my side as her coffin is lowered into the ground. The funeral isn’t to her liking … in the slightest, I am sure, but I did all I could with the little help I received.

 At least, hopefully, today will bring some closure.

 Hopefully.

 At the moment, it … it is hard to endure, hard to watch her ….

 I glance over at Eric and Alan, see them standing feet apart from each other – did something happen?

 I … I don’t think I have seen them speak a word to each other today, come to think of it ….

 Honestly, with the way Eric has been acting lately, I would not be surprised if they have had some sort of disagreement ….

 I hope that once he returns to work, he will begin to … settle, that participating in collections will provide a much-needed distraction from the grief.

 We all need distraction ….

 My arm tightens around Ronald as I hear him sniff against me. His family has attended, to pay their respects, to give support, but he is struggling.

 “Grandma?” Carmen’s voice breaks through the quiet. I look in her direction, see Molly trying to hush her.

 “Why are you putting Auntie Grell down there?” My stomach clenches. “She won’t be able to see!”

 I cannot hear Molly’s whispered reply, and honestly, it doesn’t much matter, because nothing she says could help, because … lord, I … I can hear the pain and confusion in my daughter’s voice, and it is killing me.   

 She … she really doesn’t understand ….

\-----------------------

***Thursday 23rd December***

***11.27am***

 I was … mistaken ….

 Though everyone has returned to work, things have not improved ….

 Alan has been staying at ours most nights, avoiding – no … I don’t think it is because he is wanting to avoid Eric. More that the constant loneliness is taking a toll ….

 I must admit, I understand it … completely.  

 It feels as if, without Grell, our family is growing distant … falling apart ….

 I sigh as I turn to the next page of paperwork. I wish to help Alan, help them … somehow, but with the way Eric has been acting lately –

**Bang!**

 The door – Ronald? His face is flushed – “Are -?”

 “Y’ cunt! Why didn’t y’ tell me?!”

 The anger – “Tell you -?”

 “Grell! Tha Ripper Mur – why didn’t y’ tell me?!”

 What? He … “I … I thought you knew.”

 “How?! How could I if y’ never said?!”

 “Well … it is common knowledge -.”

 “Don’t give me tha’ shit! Y’re always tellin’ me not ta hide things, but y’ – y’ … y’re full of shit ….”

 He … he begins to break in front of me. “I, I really am sorry. I honestly thought you knew.”

 “Y’ … y’re an ass.”

 “Yes … I suppose I am.”

 He scowls at me, glaring at me through watery eyes. Yet I feel no resistance as I pull him to my chest, wrap my arms around him. “I am truly sorry.”

 His face presses to my shoulder. He nods against me slowly, a silent gesture of forgiveness. “I … I can’t – she, she couldn’t ‘ave done s-somethin’ like tha’. Grell jus’ wouldn’t.”

 I take a deep breath, wracking my brains for how best to say this … how best to calm him. “People change, Ronald. The Grell who committed such atrocities wasn’t the Grell you knew.”

 “B-but she … she still d-did it.”

 “Yes … I know, but … I really don’t think she was very well back then.” Not that that is any excuse, really ….

 “Sh-she wasn’t?”

 “No. She was struggling mentally, and I know that she was put on medication before the higher-ups would allow her back to branch.”

 “R-right ….”

 “She really had changed for the better. Believe me, I wouldn’t have let her anywhere near you if I thought she was still a danger.”

 I receive no reply, only a weak nodding of his head against me.

 The guilt sets in. I honestly thought he knew, had heard of it long ago – it is, after all, such common knowledge.

 Still … I should have told him ….

 It must have come as quite the shock ….


	29. Ronald. Answers ... please ....

 This just doesn’t feel real. I … I still can’t believe she would do something like that. She … she was one of my best friends, but it … it feels like I never even knew her.

 And … and I know she got rid of that cunt, I know, but … but that was only because she wanted to protect me. I … I didn’t think she was capable of ….

 The Jack the – those bastards used to – they didn’t just use the monsters in the dark to fuck with my head. They’d tell me about what the Ripper did, all of the gruesome details, say that I should feel lucky that they were nicer than Jack; they were letting me live.

 They said if I ever tried to escape, someone like Jack would snatch me up.  

 And it scared me, it really fucking scared me, and now I find out my friend, the person I love – it, it was her all along.

 She … she was a part of that trauma ….

 And, and I feel horrible for thinking bad of her, I fucking do, but how am I supposed to feel? She … she murdered those women, those prostit –

 I … I used to be a prostitute, was in the same situation, so, so why did she –

 What made me so different?

 And she was sick, yeah, but, but I’ve been sick, really sick, and I wouldn’t – I … I’d never murder someone.

 Fuck, I … I can’t –

 My head’s a fucking mess.

 I … I just don’t know what to think ….

\-----------------

***9.02pm***

 “Night, Carmen.” Leaning forward, I give her a kiss on the cheek.

 “Goodnight, Mommy.”

 She hurries out the room after Will, and I feel the smile disappear.

 I flop back onto the sofa, arm resting over my glasses – I really just wanna sleep ….

 Fuck ….

 It’s supposed to be a super exciting time of the year, but with … with everything that’s gone on, I just can’t ….

 It’s like the will to do anything has just been sucked outta me.

 Carmen’s presents are still hiding under our bed; haven’t wrapped a fucking thing ….

\----------------------

***9.19pm***

 “Ronald? Ronald?”

 Hm – “Y-yeah?” I … I was really in my own world there …. My arm flops to my side.

 “Are you alright?”

 “N-no … not really,” I say, looking away. I sit up, swing my legs off the sofa so he can sit down. “Today’s been really rough, y’ know?”

 “Yes.” The sofa dips under his weight. “I know ….”

 I’m pulled to his side, sink into the cosiness. So warm …. “Will?”

 “Yes?”

 “I’m sorry for havin’ a go earlier.”

 He shakes his head a bit. “No … you had every right to. I should have said something.”

 “Yeah, y’ should, but I’m still sorry. I didn’t mean ta take it out on y’ like tha’.”

 “It is fine, really. I know you have been under a lot of stress lately.”

 “Yeah.” A sigh – fuck … I’ve been doing that way too much lately ….

 Will’s fingers start to run through my hair. Hmm … it’s proper relaxing ….

 “She really had changed for the better, Ronald. What she did was awful, but it was a lifetime ago – you shouldn’t let it tarnish the wonderful memories you have of her.”  

 “I ….”

 “She really did care for you.”

 “I, I know.”

 But that’s the problem, isn’t it …?

 The good memories – they feel like a lie now ….

\------------------

***Friday 24th December***

***10.17pm***

 Fuck sake ….

 I’ve turned the volume up on the TV, but I can still hear Will’s stressed out voice on the phone from the hallway.

 Olly went back to work a bit ago, but he really wasn’t ready, couldn’t do his job properly, so the guy in charge of the lab sent him home on the second day. He hasn’t been turning up since.

 Now the guy keeps phoning Will, having a go – it’s not like Will hasn’t tried to sort it out. He’s been to see Olly, has tried to help him, but he just doesn’t wanna know.

 Poor guy’s cooped up in his bed again. Can’t get a word outta him. He … he just can’t cope ….  

 “There is nothing else I can do,” I hear Will say – he’s getting really pissed off.

 I mean, who the fuck phones this late just to have a go?

 Dickhead.

 Merry fucking Christmas ….

\-------------------

***Saturday 25th December***

***8.55pm***

 Today’s been awesome. Just seeing Carmen’s little smiling face when she opened her presents has really cheered me up. She was so excited.

 Finally, a good day ….

 “Mommy!” Carmen pulls the cardboard lid offa her board game, chucks it onto the carpet. “Come play with me.”

 “Carmen,” Will raises an eyebrow, “you know it is almost your bedtime.”

 “Aww, Will, let her stay up a bit.” I slide offa the sofa onto the floor. “It’s Christmas.”

 I grin up at him, get a smile back. “Yes … alright.”

\----------------

***Monday 3rd January 2039***

***1.06pm***

 Fucking hell … why won’t they just stop?

 It was bad enough that I had to hear about Grell’s past from gossipers at work, but they’re still going on.

 She’s been dead for almost a month, for fuck sake. Just let it go.

 I pick at my sandwich – it’s hard to wanna eat when the two idiots on the table behind me are calling her names … laughing at her.

 “What an embarrassment.”

 Shut up ….

 “I know. Glad that failure's dead. He should have been put to death years ago.”

 Shut up!

**Bang!**

 What the – I turn. Eric?

 “Say that again!” He grabs one of them by the collar, yanks them up. “She’s dead! Have some damn respect!” The guy is thrown to the ground. “If ah hear yer slandering her again, yer’ll be the one six feet under! Do yer hear me?!”

 “Y-yes, sorry.”

 Both of them run off, tails between their legs. Good.

 Eric storms off too.

 Man … he’s really fuming.

 I look at my sandwich again, pick it up from the plate.

 I probably should’ve jumped in, tried to calm Eric down, but really, I didn’t wanna.

 They deserved to be put in their place, didn’t have any fucking right to talk about her like that.

 They didn’t know her like me or Eric did.

 ….

 Wait ….

\-------------

 “Eric, y’ in there?” I ask, standing in front of his office door.

 “Aye.”

 Pushing the door open, I peek inside. He looks pissed …. “Hey.”

 “Hi.”

 I step into the room, watch as he does his paperwork – man … he’s really grinding that pen into the paper …. Maybe I shouldn’t – no, I’m here now. I can’t just – I have to know. “Can I ask y’ somethin’?”

 “What?”

 “Tha … tha Ripper -.”

 That was a loud sigh ….

 Maybe I should –

 “Forget about it, Ronnie.” His voice is softer now. I … I thought that’d pissed him off more, but …. “It’s in the past now.”

 “I … I know, and I wanna, but -.”

 “She wasn’t very well, okay?”

 “Yeah … Will said tha’, but -.”

 Another sigh. “Look, what she did was wrong, ah know that, we all know that, but she never would’ve done it if it wasn’t for this place.”

 “Wh-wha’ do y’ mean?”

 I watch him scowl. The … the anger …. “Yer heard the way they mock her. They did the same back then.” He grunts. “No wonder her head was so fucked up.”

 “So … so she did … it because she was angry?”

 “She was hurting, Ronnie. They really tore intae her for the way she looked.” He rubs at his temple. “Ah don’t think she knew how tae cope.”

 “O-okay ….”

 “Ah’m not trying tae condone it, but aye, that’s why ….”

 I just nod, because wow, I just … I just dunno what else to do. It doesn’t make it any better, but fuck, it’s a reason at least. I … I can kinda understand it now.

 Kinda ….

 “She was a good Lass, Ronnie,” he says. It … it’s like he’s reading my mind. 

 “Yeah … she was.”

 She really was.

 It … it hurts to think about what she did, but … but the Grell I knew –

 She was the fucking best.

 “Thank y’.”

 “For what?”

 “For listenin’.” For giving me proper answers ….

 “It’s alright.”

 “Yeah.” My hand goes up to the back of my head, because the way he said – I think he’s had enough of talking to me now.

 I should feel lucky that he spoke to me in the first place, I guess. Probs shouldn’t push my luck ….

 “Well, see y’ later.”

 “Bye.”

 My heart sinks. “Yeah ….” I go for the door … but, but I don’t wanna. I … I wanna stay, and chat, and laugh with my mate.

 My mate ….

 When … when did we all grow so distant?

 I … I miss my family ….

 I miss it so much.

\---------------------

***Wednesday 5th January***

***8.10am***

 I thought that Eric might have made up with Al after he spoke with me a bit, hoped so, but he hasn’t ….

 Al looks so upset, so worn out, like he’s gonna break down at any second.

 I … I feel so bad for him. But I’m gonna try to help, somehow.

 I’m out on reaps with Eric in … uh, just under an hour.

 I’m gonna say something to Eric, am gonna have to, because … because I can’t take seeing Al like this anymore. It’s breaking my fucking heart.

\--------------

***9.24am***

 There … there’s no point me even opening my mouth. He’s in a right bad mood – I … I won’t be able to get him to listen ….

 Fuck … this is gonna be an awkward shift to get through.

 I look over at him, but he doesn’t even notice it. He’s just staring off into space, looking really angry. I can just feel the rage coming offa him.

 He jumps offa the roof –

 “W-wait – we ‘ave ta stay together,” I call out. It … it’s not safe.

 My feet hit the ground right next to him. “Eric -.”

 “Well, well.”  

 There’s someone behind – I can smell …. No … n-no ….

 I turn – shit ….

 D-demons. There’s two demons right –

 “Isn’t this a yummy sight?”

 It … it’s grinning, tongue darting –

 “Yer bastards!”

 Eric grips –

 “Eric … we, we need ta -.”

 “Yer’re fucking dead!”

 He charges – “Eric, wait! Don’t!”

 Shit!


	30. William. Foolish and irresponsible.

***10.02am***

 “Ronald!” I burst through – he, he’s alive. Oh, thank goodness, he’s alive.

 I reach the hospital bed that he is sitting on the edge of – that, that is a good sign, him being able to sit. But that … that large gash on his temple …. “Are, are you alright?”

 He groans at me, looking up at me with dazed, half-lidded eyes.

 “Ronald?”

 “I … I’m okay,” he mumbles, head bobbing up and down. He … he is struggling to stay awake ….

 “Are you sure?”

 “Y-yeah ….”

 Reaching out, I cup his cheek, forcing his eyeline up to meet mine again. “What happened?” I was told demons were involved, but …. “Ronald?”

 “Me … me and … Eric got … got crept up … on by d … demons.”

 “But they’re dead now.” Eric – 

 “What?!” I spin around to look at him, see that he is missing an arm. But I feel no sympathy. “Are you kidding me? You went after them?!”  

 “Of course ah did. They -.”

 “You idiot!”

 “What?! They -.”

 “You were told to run -.”

 “They needed tae pay!”

 “For what? Grell?! She’s gone!”

 “Yer -!”

 “And now you want to risk everyone else’s lives, for what? Revenge?!”

 “Will -.”

 “You could have gotten him killed!”

 “Will … it … it’s okay.”

 “No, Ronald, it’s not.”

 “Yer -.”

 “You were completely irresponsible.”

 “Will, please ….”

 “Do you not care about anyone but yourself? You selfish, stupid -.”

 “St-stop it.” I feel a tugging on my coat. “I … I jus’ wanna go home. P-please?”

 I turn to face – the … the look he is giving me …. Pleading …. “Yes … alright.” I take a calming breath, because honestly, I shouldn’t be wasting my time with this idiot, not when Ronald is in such a state. He is the one truly in need of help. “I shall speak to the doctor.”

 “O-okay, gr … great. Th-thanks.”

\-----------

***10.47am***

 I help Ronald over to the couch. He is clinging to me, unsteady on his feet, and I doubt it is the scrape on the head that has dazed him so greatly. Venom, no doubt ….

 He … he really is suffering, wincing with every staggered step. A hiss leaves him as he eases himself down into a laying position on the couch.

 Oh, Ronald ….

 He really is in a bad way, panting, chest heaving in exhaustion as he head lolls to the side. His clothes have been shredded, uniform hanging from him in strips.

 And … and he is covered in cuts and bruises, absolutely covered … handprints … handprints burned into the skin of his wrists and ankles.

 Ronald ….

 I … I can barely stand to look ….

 “Will ….”

 “Yes?” I sit down on the edge of the couch, careful not to press up against him. I … I wish not to cause him further pain …. “What is it?”

 “Eric … Eric didn’t mean … ta … ta ge’ me hurt. He … he wasn’t thinkin’ straight.”

 A grunt slips from between my lips. “He could have gotten you killed, Ronald.”

 “Y-yeah, I know … but I … I don’t wanna fight. I, I jus’ – I’m sick of this.” His breath shakes. “We … we don’t feel like a family anymore.”

 My heart drops a little.

 That is true, an awful truth ….  

 I watch him, as he tries to hold back the tears. “Yes … alright ….” I give a reluctant nod. “I can … let it slide,” this once, for Ronald’s sake, and his alone. Because, honestly, the way I am feeling at this present moment, I would be happy never to see his smug face again.

 “Th-thanks.”

 “It is fine.” Reaching over, I take his hand and give it a squeeze. “Try to get some rest.”

 I receive a slow nod, Ronald sliding down the arm of the couch a little. As he settles, I stand, retrieving a blanket from the back of a chair. I need to return to work, know I will be in hot water if I do not … but how can I?

 Ronald should not even be out of the hospital at the moment. I had to plead with the doctor to discharge him a couple of hours early, because I knew being in a familiar setting would help him more than any hospital treatment.

 He needs me to be here, right here.

 And heaven forbid, if he takes an unexpected turn for the worst – I must stay. I must.

\-----------------

***1.03pm***

 Ronald slept – no, lost consciousness would be more fitting – for a couple of hours. Slowly, all too slowly, the marks are beginning to fade.

 “Are you feeling any better?” I ask, holding out a glass of water to him.

 He takes it, his lip twitching into a tiny smile as a thank you. “A … a bit.” He takes a sip before passing it back, pulling his knees up to his chest as I grip it. I put it on the coffee table, watching as he wraps his arms around his legs. “My head’s fuckin’ poundin’ though.”

 That is no great surprise, with the bump on the head, the venom, and the … shock of it all. “It will ease.”

 “Yeah ….”

 I sit down on the newly given space.

 “Will?”

 “Yes?”

 “Can … can I ge’ a different scythe?”

 What …? “Pardon?”

 He looks down, avoiding my gaze. “A … a new scythe.”

 Yes … yes, I did hear correctly …. “But, but you love your lawnmower?”

 “I … I know, but … it … it’s no good. Earlier, it jus’ got in tha way. I … I couldn’t use it … properly.”

 His eyes meet mine again, the reply catching in my throat – they are filling with tears.

 “I … I thought I was gonna d-die, Will.” He puts his face in his hands. “I … I was so f-fuckin’ sc-scared.”

 “Oh, Ronald,” I shift to hug him, “of course you were. I’d have been terrified in that situation also.”

 He grips onto me, like a frightened child, hiding his face in my shirt. “I … I jus’ wanted ta run, but, but I couldn’t. I … I couldn’t jus’ l-leave Eric there. And, and m-more jus’ kept comin’, and we couldn’t ge’ away, and … and I kept thinkin’ ‘bout y’ a-and Car-Carmen. I … I th-thought I’d never s-see y’ again.” A harsh sob rings in my ears.

 “But you made it out, and you are safe now.” My hand goes to his hair, almost on instinct. “It’s going to be alright.”

 He nods against me, pressing his body closer to mine as sobs wrack his form.

 “Why don’t we find you something small?” I say as he begins to calm. “That way, you can easily fit it inside your suit.” 

 “So … I can k-keep my lawnmower?” He asks, looking up to me with watery eyes.

 “Yes.” It is against policy, having more than one scythe, but I am sure I can get around it somehow.

 “C-cool. Thank y’.”

 “It is alright,” I smile.  

 I’d do anything, just to keep him safe.

\--------------------

***5.05pm***

 “Y’ going ta ge’ Carmen?”

 “Yes,” I say, a little surprised at hearing his voice. I thought he was still asleep. “I won’t be long.”

 Huffing a little, he pushes himself to standing. “I’ll come too.”

 “Are you sure? You should -.”

 “Yeah, I’m sure.” He smiles at me. “I wanna see my little girl.”

 I smile back. “Yes, alright.” In his shoes, I think I would be racing to Carmen’s side also.

\---------------

***Thursday 6th January***

***12.58am***

 Carmen is sleeping soundly, though, admittedly, in an awkward position against Ronald. Though her bedtime passed hours ago, I got the sense that Ronald didn’t want to send her upstairs.

 The love of a child really can do wonders for one’s mind.

 I watch as Ronald rubs her back in slow circles. He has been very quiet tonight. It is not surprising, given what has happened, but ….

 “Are you alright?”

 “Yeah.” He lets out a long breath. “Jus’ … glad ta be alive, y’ know?”

 Yes, I know, of course I know. I … I am beyond thankful.

 Ronald, he … he has no idea how terrified I was when I received that phone call from the hospital.

 No idea ….

 I thought I had lost him.


	31. Alan. It's killing me.

***11.32am***

 I … I can’t take this anymore. Eric, he, he’s missing an arm, and I should be right there, right next to him, comforting him … but I can’t. I’m not welcome. I’m never welcome now ….

 He’s just sitting there, not looking at me, giving me the silent treatment … again. I’m sick of this. Absolutely sick of being shunned.

 But what am I supposed to say? I, I’ve said – I’ve tried, and I’ve tried ….

 I, I can’t – what was Eric thinking? I ran into William talking to the doctor on the way here, and he told me … everything.

 And while we all sat in this hospital room, Ronnie waiting to be discharged, I could just feel the … heaviness in the air, as if Eric and William had gotten into a … heated argument.

 I wouldn’t blame William if they had ….

 Ronnie was really hurt, was in such a bad way.

 And … and I don’t, I don’t think I’m even angry.

 I can’t – I just can’t ….

 You’re selfish, Eric. You’re being so selfish.

\----------

***2.13pm***

 I follow Eric silently through the house, watching the bandage around his … stump slowly turning red. It looks so painful, but he hasn’t made a sound. No groaning, no hissing ….

 It’s like he isn’t feeling a thing ….

 “Eric … are you okay?”

 Nothing ….

 Why won’t you just –

 The door bangs against the wall of the kitchen – the dogs start barking. Why … why would you do that, Eric? You … you could have just opened it.

 Selfish … you’re being selfish ….

 “Eric ….”

 Answer me. Answer me!

 He’s going – no! You, you’re not drinking today.

 I won’t let you!

 “Eric!” I rush after him, yanking him back, away from the cupboard.

 “Oi!”

 “Stop it! Just stop it!”

 “Yer -.”

 “Enough! I’ve had enough! Th-the drinking and the -.”

 “Ah don’t -.”

 “You need to stop! Just look at yourself! You’ve lost an arm, for goodness sake! You’re a -.”

 “Get off my case! Ah don’t need yer having a go too!”

 “No, I won’t! Because you’re being selfish!”

 “Ah -.”

 “You almost got Ronnie killed!”

 He growls at me, eyes burning into mine, but I’m not going to just shut up this time, because if I do, nothing, nothing is going to change.

 “Ah didn’t ask him tae chase me!”

 “What did you expect him to do?! He’s your friend!”

 “He -.”

 “What were you thinking?! Going after them – you -.”

 “Ah killed them all, didn’t ah?!”

 “So?! Did it make it better?! Did it bring Grell back?!”

 “Aye, it helped! Ah got revenge for her!”

 He shoves past me. No … no, not this time. You’re not going to run away this time!

 I … I’m shaking, from head to toe. I, I’ve never been so angry ….

 “Y-you’re going to lose everyone at this rate.” It comes out as a harsh whisper, because I can’t, I can’t – my fists are shaking at my sides.

 “Tsk.”

 “Is that what you want?” Why … why am I laughing? My vision’s blurring – but I’m laughing …. “Do … do you want everyone else to leave? Because that … that’s what’ll happen.”

 “Aye … right, okay.”

 “It will!” He, he doesn’t care. He just doesn’t – “You’re pushing everyone away! How can you not see that?!”

 “Ah don’t care!”

 “You should!” He’s walking – “Stop walking away!” I chase. I’m always chasing. N-no, no more …. “Eric! If, if you walk away from me now, I swear to – I'm gone!"

 "W-what?" 

 "I mean it! I'll take the dogs and go!" 

 "Al ...." He turns –

 "If you won’t – why won't you just talk to me?! Talk to me, please!" I grab hold of his shirt, shaking him, because I have to make him understand. I have to! "Don’t you understand?! I can't take this anymore! It's killing me!" I'm shaking, and I can't see him through the tears. I .... 

 My face hides in his shirt. Don't go. Don't ... don't you dare push me away .... "It's k-killing m-me."

 “Wh-what?”


	32. Eric. What was I thinking?

 What ...? 

 "Al ... don't say things like that." 

 "It's true! I ... I can't deal with this ... I -."

 "Stop it. Ah ... Ah don't want tae hear that." 

 Dying ….

 Shite .... 

 I ... I hurt him so badly he wants to – 

 “I -.”

 "Ah ... ah'm sorry, Al, ah ...." I didn't think - I ... I really have been pushing him away, haven't I ...? 

 He looks up - shite ... lad's in a right state .... 

 "Y-you're sorry?" 

 "Aye. Ah ... ah didn't realise ah'd hurt yer this badly." 

 "You didn't - don't you remember the arguments?! You haven't wanted to speak to me since Grell passed away." 

 He ... he's right. Shite .... 

 "And the drinking - you ... you've been ...." 

 Aye .... 

 "Ah, ah really didn't realise. With Grell gone, ah, ah just didn't know what tae ...." Shite. "Ah'm really sorry." 

 I hug him with my one arm. If he pushes me away, I wouldn't blame him. 

 Killing him .... 

 He doesn't. I can feel his nails digging in through my shirt as he clings on. "Y-you idiot. You ... you selfish man ...." 

 "Ah know. Ah'm sorry." 

 "Y-you could have gotten Ronnie killed." 

 No, I, I didn't mean –

 No ... he's right .... 

 William was right. 

 I almost got him killed. 

 "Aye ...." 

 "Idiot." 

 "Aye, ah am." 

 "Idiot." I hear him sniff. I think he's calming down. 

 "Aye." 

 He goes quiet, resting the side of his cheek against my chest.

 What have I done …?

 "J-just talk to me from now on. Please?" 

 "Ah will, Al." 

 "O-okay." He sniffs again. 

 I don't deserve one, do I? But I lean down for a kiss. 

 My lips don't even reach his before he's slamming his mouth up against mine. 

 Hungry .... 

\------------

***2.42pm***

 "Hah ...." 

 "Mmm." Al smiles at me. He's completely worn out, the poor lad, looks completely dazed. 

 "That was great, Eric ...."

 "Aye, it was." Awkward though, with just one arm. 

 "Mmm, I think it's starting to grow back," he says, laughing lightly and pointing at it. 

 "Aye," I smile, "ah think so." I use my good arm to pull him close, cuddling him tight. “Al, ah’m sorry.”

 He turns in my grip, cuddling up to me. “It’s okay, Eric.”

 “No … it’s not.”

 “It is. W-well, it’s understandable. I know Grell’s … passing has been hard on you.” He fidgets in my arms. “But you … do need to apologise to Ronnie.”

 “Ock … aye. Yer think he hates me?”

 “No, I don’t think he’s mad at you. But you should still tell him you’re sorry.” He yawns loudly. “Not, not right now, but you should.”

 I chuckle, because it’s pretty obvious the wee lad doesn’t want me to rush off. My lips press to the side of his head. “Ah’ll do it tomorrow.”

 “Okay.” A long sigh comes out of him.

 “Yer’re really worn out, aren’t yer?” I chuckle again.

 “Mmm.” He twists again, probably trying to get comfy. “You should sleep too. It’ll help your arm. It looks really … gross.”

 “Hah, aye, it does.”

 “Hmm ….”

 “Yer get some sleep, okay?” I say, kissing the side of his forehead.

 “Okay. Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “You … you’ll be careful now, won’t you? I … I don’t want you to get hurt again. I, I know you want to make them pay, but if something were to happen to you -.”

 “Ah will be. No more fighting, ah promise.”

 “Thank you.”

 “Yer be careful too, alright?” I can’t let the demons get to him too. It’d –

 “I will be, Eric, don’t worry.”

 He goes all quiet on me, breathing getting soft and slow. I want to let him sleep, he might already be conked out, but I need to know. “Al?”

 “Wh … what is it, Eric?” He cracks an eye open.

 “Were yer … really about tae take the dogs and go?”

 “No. I … I was just really mad. I don’t think I could ever leave.”

 “Aye … good.” Good. Not that I’d blame him if he had.

 I … I’ve been a terrible husband ….

\---------------

***8.27pm***

 “Nghh ….” Ahh … shite, that’s sore. I pull my arm out from under me. Most of it has grown back, but it’s tender as hell.

 I roll over – “Al?”

 He flinches, rushing to wipe under his glasses. “Y-yes?”

 “What’s the matter, lad?” I sit up, shifting closer.

 “I’m f-fine.”

 “No, yer’re not. Yer wouldn’t be crying if yer were fine.”

 I get a slow nod as he sniffs.

 “What’s bothering yer, Al?”

 His fingers go to his eyes again, wiping away new tears. “I … I just – with everything that’s been hap-happening, I … I haven’t been able to gr-grieve.”

 “Ock, Al … ah’m sorry.”

 “N-no, no, it’s okay. It’s ….” I pull him close, and he falls apart against me. “I … I m-miss her s-so much. It’s quiet, it’s just too q-quiet without her.”

 “Ah, ah know.” Oh, I know ….

 “It still doesn’t f-feel r-real.”

 “No … it doesn’t ….” Shite …. “We … we could visit her tomorrow, if that’d help?”  

 “It m-might. I, I’ll bring her fl-flowers.” 

 “She’d like that.”

 “R-roses, and, and ….”

 “Ock, come here.” I pull him up onto my lap, squeeze him tight. “Don’t cry, babe. It’s alright.”

 He clings around my neck, sniffing loudly. “I … I’ve missed you too, Eric. It, it’s been lonely without you.”

 “Ah’ve missed yer too. Ah’m sorry. Ah really fucked up.”

 “It, it’s okay. It’s okay now. W-we still have each other, so, so it’ll be okay.” I don’t know who he’s trying to convince here. Me … or himself ….

 “Aye, we do.”

 We do. And thank God I still have him.  

\----------------

***Thursday 6th January***

***9.35am***

 The door is pulled open, William standing there. “Oh, it’s you.”

 “Didn’t Ronnie tell you we were coming? I texted him,” Al says.

 “He did.”

 He’s really not happy. Can’t say I blame him …. “William, look, ah’m sorry -.”

 “Oh, you should be.”

 “Ah -.”

 “Ronald almost died because of you.”

 “Aye … ah know. Ah wasn’t thinking.”

 “Yes, you must not have been.” He sighs. “Still, I am not the one you owe this apology to, and if Ronald can forgive you ….” Another sigh. “Come in.”

 “Thank yer.”

 We step into the hallway – Ronnie’s running up to us. He jumps at Al, arms swinging around him. “Hey, Al. Y’ okay?”

 Ahh, he gives that adorable wee smile, hugging back. “I’m feeling much better, thank you.”

 “Awesome.”

 “Are you okay?”

 “Yeah … jus’ worn out.”

 He … he does look a bit worse for wear. Because of me.

 Shite ….

 “Lad, ah’m so sorry.”

 The hug breaks, Ronnie staring over at me. Ock, he’s pissed –

 “It’s okay,” he smiles.

 “Are, are yer sure?”

 “Yeah. Jus’ … jus’ don’t do stupid shit like tha’ again, yeah? Y’ … scared me.”

 “Ah won’t. Ah promise.” Scared him …. Aye, I bet I did ….

 “Yeah. Well, come gimme a hug then.”

 “Ock, alright,” I chuckle.

 He smacks against my chest as we hug, my arms wrapping around the top of his back.

 Ahh … shite ….

 I was supposed to look after this kid.

 What the hell was I thinking?  

\----------------

***12.04pm***

 “They’re really nice, Al,” I smile as he places down a bouquet on her … grave.

 “Do you think she likes them?”

 “Aye, of course she does.” My arms loops around his waist. I pull him to my side, giving him a wee squeeze. “They’re red.”

 “Mmm.” He smiles at me … but it’s a sad smile.

 “Yer want tae head home?”

 He shakes his head against me. “Just a little longer.”

 “Aye … alright.”

 I reach a hand out, running my palm over the top of the gravestone. It’s so cold. Cold ….

 “Grell, ah ….” My fingernails dig into Al’s coat. This is killing me. It hurts sober, like a crushing weight. She … she’s right below my feet, right here. But she’s silent. “Ah … ah hope yer’re doing alright. We’re not, not without yer.” Shite …. “We really miss yer. We all really miss yer. It, it’s just not the same without yer ….”

 It’s never going to be the same again ….

\---------------------

***12.22pm***

 I lead Al away from the cemetery by the hand. He wanted to stay even longer … but I … I just couldn’t look at that headstone any longer. Shite ….

 “Eric … are you okay?”

 “Ah … ah will be.” I feel him squeeze my hand. I grip it back tightly. It’s comforting to just have him near me. It really is.

\------------------

***6.48pm***

 “Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 Al shifts on the sofa, pulling the blanket further up his chest. “We should check up on Olly.”

 What? “Why? Yer haven’t heard from him?”

 He shakes his head at me slowly. “No …. I heard that he stopped turning up for work, but ….”

 “Ock … poor guy.” I hadn’t got a clue ….

 “Yeah …. He’s really struggling.”

 Aye, seems that way …. “Yer want tae visit him now?”

 “I think we should?”

 “Aye, alright.” I get up from the sofa. “Ah’ll get myself changed.”

 “Thank you.”

\----------------------

***6.57pm***

 Shite … he’s in the dark again, the curtains shut. I doubt he’s opened them since the last time we were here. “Olly, yer alright, mate?” I call out, switching on the lamp.

 We don’t get a reply. He’s just laying there, hiding under the sheets. We walk closer, my hand reaching for the bedsheets. I pull them back.

 “Ock … lad ….” He’s just laying still, curled up tight and staring into space.

 Me and Al look at each other. I don’t think he knows what to do either ….  

 “Olly?” He sinks down in front of him at the side of the bed. “Are you okay?”

 Nothing ….

 “Alright, mate,” I sigh, “come on.” My hands slide under his armpits, pulling him up from the bed. “Up yer get.” He’s just dead weight …. “Yer’re coming back tae ours, alright.”

 Al smiles at me as I say that, I guess because we’re doing something to help. It might help ….

 Erugh … lad, when’s the last time you had a wash? I don’t think he’s even changed his clothes. He’s a mess ….

\-----------------

***7.14pm***

 “That’s better,” I smile. It feels like a waste of time, smiling at him, because it’s not getting through to him one bit. He’s … dead behind the eyes.

 But at least he’s in clean clothes now. That might help him feel a wee bit better ….

 It was like trying to dress a corpse ….

 Al pulls the covers up – he’s going to be staying in our spare room for now. “It’ll be okay, Olly. I know it doesn’t feel that way now, but it will be.”

 I hear him sigh. Olly doesn’t even seem to be listening. “Okay,” he says with that lovely, gentle voice, “well … we’ll let you get some rest.”

 I don’t think he needs to rest. He needs to talk to us … someone.

 But, obviously, he’s not up for doing that at the minute ….

 We leave the room, Al speaking as I close the door. “Do you think he’s going to be okay?”

 “Ah don’t know, Al.” I really don’t know ….

 I mean … he’s with us right now, has some company and someone to talk to.

 But … the way he is right now, I really just don’t know ….


	33. William. Looking for you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overlaps again at the start.

***Thursday 6th January***

***1.03am***

 “Ronald. Ronald, wake up.” I roll over in bed, watching him toss and turn as my eyes adjust to the darkness. A nightmare. “Ronald,” I say a little louder, not wishing to touch him, not wanting to startle him. But my words do not wake him.

 Slowly, I reach out a hand, touching his shoulder lightly. “Ronald.” I shake him a little. “Ron -.”

 “Ah!” He flies up in bed, eyes wide and chest heaving. “Hah … hah ….”

 “Ronald … are you alright?”

 His head falls forward into outstretched hands. “Fuck ….”

 I reach my hand out once more, placing it on his shoulder. “It is alright, Ronald. You just had a nightmare, is all.”

 “A … a nightmare. R-right.”

 “Was it … about the attack?”

 “N-no, th-tha’ bastard again.”

 “Oh, Ronald -.”

 “I, I’m fine.” He raises his head, sucking in air through his teeth. “I’ll be okay.”

 “Do -?”

 A sudden noise startles me, Carmen bursting through the door. “Mommy!” She rushes – oh, she looks like she is about to cry.

 “Carmen -.”

 “Mommy, are you okay?! Y-you kept screaming.”

 Ronald speaks before I can, smiling. “I’m fine, Kiddo. I jus’ had a nightmare. Go back ta bed, okay?”

 She shakes her head, climbing into our bed. “Staying here.”

 “Y’ wanna keep Mommy safe?”

 “Yeah,” she pouts, in an almost sulky manner.

 “Alright,” Ronald says gently. He lays down in bed, lifting her up onto his chest. “I feel safer already.”

 “Good!”

 I lay back down also, smiling to myself. Such a sweet child.

 I think Ronald will sleep well for the rest of the night.

\--------------------

***11.05am***

 Ronald waves Alan and Eric off before closing the door. Locking it, he turns to face me. “Y’ and Eric are alright now, yeah?”

 “We are on okay terms for now, yes.” Though I am a little surprised. I wasn’t expecting an apology from him, as thick-skulled as he is. “As long as this is the end to his stupidity.”

 “I think he’s learnt his lesson … thank fuck ….” He brushes past me, entering the living room. “I was really startin’ ta worry ‘bout Al.”

 I follow him. “Yes ….” As was I. “He does seem a lot happier.”

 “Yeah.” Reaching the couch, he slumps down onto it, beckoning me forward with one lone finger. “Will ….”

 I know that look.

 “Right now?”

 “Yeah. I’m still achy from yesterday, babe.” His eyes are piercing, filled with want. “Please?”

 I cannot deny what that look is doing to me …. “Yes, alright.” I take a step towards the –

 “Here.”

 I turn back, raising an eyebrow. “On the couch?”

 “Yeah.”

 “A bed is perfectly -.”

 “Don’t wanna.” He slips down the arm of the couch a little further. “Achy.”

 “Lazy.”

 “Maybe.” When I make no move, he pouts at me. “Come on, Will, it’s hot.”

 I sigh in defeat, because once that arse is firmly planted on that couch, there it stays. “Yes, alright.”  A blanket is yanked from the top of the nearest chair.

 “Wha’ -?” It lands on his head – a perfect shot. He splutters a little, pulling it from over his face. “W-Will -.”

 “I’d rather not leave a mess.”

 “Huh – oohhh.” 

 He jumps up, rushing to tuck the throw into place. My eyebrow rises again. I thought he was aching …? Apparently not.

\-----------------------

 Sighing, he rests his sweaty head against me. Not exactly a pleasant feeling, but it is what it is. “Is that better?”

 “Yeah, way better. Could do wi’ a shower though.”

 Ah, yes, thank goodness.

 With a huff – I think I have worn him out – he pushes himself to standing. “Wanna come in wi’ me?”

 “I do.” Oh, I do. I feel … sticky ….

\------------------

***Friday 7th January***

***5.55pm***

 “Y’ want somethin’ ta eat, mate?” Ronald asks, rubbing Othello’s upper back gently. We were told this morning by Alan that they had taken him in, have come to give support. He isn’t in the best of states ….

 He remains silent and still, and I am not sure he even heard Ronald’s words. Ronald turns his head to look at me, a sad expression etched into his face. 

 “Aye ….” Eric stands at the side of the bed, hands on his hips. “He’s been like this since last night. Cannae get a word out of him.”

 “Right ….” Turning back to face Othello, he gives his shoulder a squeeze. “Y’ really need ta eat somethin’. Y’ll jus’ feel worse if y’ don’t.”

 Nothing ….

\------------------

***8.53pm***

 We stayed there, for hours, trying everything we could think of to get through to him, bringing up the good times with Grell, hoping to elicit some sort of reaction. And still, we were met with silence ….

 A heaviness surrounds us as we teleport into the human world, needing to pick up groceries before we bring Carmen home. I glance at Ronald – he looks deeply troubled.

 A long sigh mixes with the wind, with a curse. “Fuck ….”

 “Ron -.”

 “He, he needs help, Will. We need, we need ta ge’ him someone ta talk ta in tha human world or somethin’.”

 “If he won’t even talk to us, I don’t think therapy is going to help him.”

 “Then wha’ are we supposed ta do?” He is almost shouting, as if he is annoyed with me. But of course, he isn’t. It is simply out of frustration, worry.

 And I cannot think of a way to ease those feelings, cannot provide a solution.

 “I don’t know, Ronald. I honestly don’t know.”

\-----------------

***9.18pm***

 “Where have you two been?” Martha confronts us at the door, voice rising in pitch as she speaks.

 “We did tell you we -.”

 “Yes, late – you call this just late?! Do you even know what time it is?”

 “Yes … nine o’clock, I know.” Honestly, I feel like a child being scolded ….

 “Grandma -.”

 “Take her, just take her. She’s been driving me mad.”

 I and Ronald exchange a glance. Fairies ….

\------------------

***Tuesday 11th January***

***10.49am***

 Strange …. I wasn’t expecting a visitor. “Yes, come in.” The door is shoved open – “Jeffries?”

 “Sir, I, I was supposed to be partnering up with Jones for collections, but he hasn’t shown.”

 “Well -.”

 “I’m not going out by myself! I -.”

 “No, no, I know.” And I am not going to force him, for I can understand his nervous disposition. There was another attack last night …. And while everyone escaped uninjured, for the most part, it has the association on edge. “Have you tried calling him?”

 “I don’t have his number. I barely know him.”

 “I see. Bear with me.”

 “O-okay.”

\--------------------

***10.56am***

 He is refusing to come into work, saying that the attack last night was the final straw. I tried everything from trying to calm him, to threatening him with paperwork, but nothing was effective. And, as much as I want him here, doing his job, there is no point in forcing him. Even if I were to get him here, he would only run the moment he was out of my sight.

 Honestly ….

 I do not even have time to find a replacement partner for Jeffries. Filing my paperwork away, I stand from my desk. As much as I am already drowning in documents, what choice do I have? As a supervisor, I have a duty to my subordinates. To the best of my ability, I must keep them safe.

\-----------------

***4.27pm***

 The day, for the most part, has been slow, uneventful, though the unmistakable stench of demon lingers in the air, thick and heavy, almost a haze. It is potent, but faded, most likely still lingering from their prowling late last night.  

 Still, I am not about to let my guard down. That may be their plan, blanketing the world with their stench so we cannot smell them coming. It wouldn’t surprise me, not in the slightest.

 I turn to Jeffries as we stand in Hyde Park, the location of his collection mere minutes ago. “Your next collection?”

 “Uh ….” He begins rifling through his ledger – not organised in the slightest. “Ah! Uh ….” He shudders visibly.

 “What is it?”

 “An elderly homeless man – alleyway.”

 “I see.” That explains why he is ill at ease. Dark … cramped, with few directions of escape. “We will be fine.”

 “R-right.”

 “We will.” I doubt they will attack someone who has experience with battling demons in broad daylight. He will be safe with me. “When is the collection?”

 “Ten minutes.”

 “Than we shall stay here a while longer.”

 He lets out a long sigh, one of relief. “Right, cool. Thanks.”

\----------------

***4.37pm***

 We teleport to the rooftop to the left of the alleyway, jumping down into the tight space. It is dark, damp … unpleasant ….

 I hear a groan to the right of me, turn around in time to see Jeffries bending down in front of the deceased. “Poor guy ….”

 “Yes.” A shadow – oh –

 A hand – my back hits the wall, and I am falling, hitting the ground.

 “Found youuuu!”

 That voice ….

 No, no, my imagination –

 I can’t – my glasses –

 “Sir!”

 Jeff – “Run!” My glasses –

 “I, I -.”

 “Get out of here!” There! I snatch them up – “Ack!” Pain strikes me, in the side – the world comes back into view, and I am – Grell ….

 “What?” The scum smiles down at me – how dare they. How dare it take her form! “Don’t you like it?”

 “You -!”

 “Sir!”

 “Run, dammit!” I scramble to my feet. “I will be fine!” As long as it is just one, just this one, I will be – “Get out of here! Now!”

 His scythe is thrown, caught – it tries to strike me again, but I shove it back with the handle of the scythe.

 Run, now, run – I have to –

 “It’s a shame, isn’t it?”

 “Wha -?”

 “This.” It points to itself. “Loyal to the end, this one. You see, we weren’t after him.”

 “Don’t you dare -!”

 “We didn’t care about some tramp. We were looking for you.”

 What …?

 “But the bitch wouldn’t bring you to us.”

 “B-be quiet -.”

 “No matter how much we tortured him. We even tried to persuade the whore in ways befitting of his reputation, but he just loved his ‘Willy Dear’ too much.”

 “Y-you’re lying.” It is just trying to distract me, freeze me in place. It –

 “Oh, am I really? If we wanted him dead, like all the others, we would have just killed him.”

 “N-no, you ….”

 Others appear in front of me, surrounding me –

 Run. Run, you have to – they reach out towards me, claws outstretched –

 I crash to the ground – my office, I’m in my office ….

 I, I thought they had –

 Christ ….

 I … I am trembling? From head to toe ….

 I was, I was almost ….

 God ….

 I stagger to standing, hand curling around the edge of the desk for support.

 I, I cannot believe –

 Grell ….


	34. William. They will hate me.

 Goodness me ….

 I drag myself over to my chair, legs almost giving out from under me as I slump down into it. “Nghh ….” There is pain, sh-sharp pain, shooting up my side. Lord … that hurts. My hand goes to my suit, peeling back to layers of clothing.

 Oh ….

 The skin is bruising, already turning a deep shade of blue. I was … kicked, I think, must have been – at least one rib is broken … I am sure. It certainly feels that way ….

 Taking shallow breaths, I try to ignore the throbbing. It will heal soon. It will ….

 It could have been worse. It could have been … so, so much worse.

 I could have – I was almost … I was almost like Grell ….

 Grell ….

 The bile rises in my throat. What that scum – I … I cannot, I just cannot bear to think of what else they did to her. No … no, they didn’t do that to her. They wouldn’t have – there would be no need …. They’d already tortured her, ripped her to – there was no need ….

 I can feel the tears pricking at my eyes.

 The … the suffering she must have gone through ….

 I cannot –

 All because of –

 No, no, they were lying. Of course they were. It, it wasn’t, it wasn’t my fault ….

 “Ah!” Oh, it, it is just the office phone ….

 I reach out a hand – Lord, I am shaking, I am shaking so badly. My fingers curl around the handle of the phone, and I raise it to my ear, half expecting – I … I can still hear her – its voice ringing in my ears. “H-hello?”

 “Sir!”

 “Jeff -?”

 “Oh, thank goodness. I thought it had got you.”

 “N-no, no, I am perfectly fine. Thank you.” Fine …. I am anything but fine ….

\----------------

***5.15pm***

 I sit here, staring at the clock … as the time ticks on. My side has healed now – I can get up … but I cannot … face moving. My shift has ended now, and I know Ronald will be here soon, ready to head to his grandmother’s to pick Carmen up, but I –

 How am I going to tell him? How am I supposed – he is already on edge, and now … now I have a target on my head.

 How … how can I look him in the eye and tell him that I am to blame –

 I continue to tell myself that it was lying, simply trying to distract me, unnerve me to gain the upper hand, but no.

 No ….

 For all my trying, I cannot shake this feeling, the awful feeling that it was being truthful, because … because she was tortured, not merely … killed ….

 He will hate me – they will all hate me, when they find out the truth ….

 They should hate me.

 She is dead … because of me.

\---------------

***9.54pm***

 “Will, y’ okay, babe?” Ronald scoots closer to me on the couch, upper arm pressing against mine. “Y’ve been really quiet tonight.”

 Yes … I have been. I am too … too focused on trying to keep it together, pretend that everything is fine, because I wish not to frighten him. I … I cannot bear to cause him further pain.

 My arm slips behind him, wrapping around his shoulders. “I am fine, Ronald. Just a little tired.”

 “Y’ sure?”

 “I am.”

 “Alright, babe.” Shifting, he pulls his feet up onto the couch. “I’m not surprised.” He sighs. “Can’t believe they put y’ on overtime again. Fuckin’ sucks ….”

 “Yes, it does.” Yes … overtime ….

 Overtime ….

\------------------

***Wednesday 12th January***

 The clock reads ‘5:00’ and I haven’t slept a wink. Thoughts fly around inside of my head, unrelenting – what am I thinking? I … I cannot not tell Ronald. They are coming for me, trying to end me – if I continue to hide this, I will be putting his life in danger. I will be putting everyone’s life in danger.

 And I know that it will frighten him, and he will no doubt hate me – Eric will probably never speak to me again – but it, it is fine, as long as they are safe.

 If something were to happen to – I, I cannot bear to even think on it. I cannot let that happen. I will not.

\-------------------

***7.58am***

 “Ronald?” I stumble into the kitchen, rubbing the ache of tiredness from my head – attempting to ….

 He turns from the sink, grabbing a towel. “Mornin’, babe.” Carmen bids me good morning also, looking up from – oh … Ronald has already made her breakfast ….

 “Yes, morning. Why didn’t you get me up?”

 The towel is rubbed against his hands, drying them. “I tried, but y’ jus’ weren’t wakin’ up.”

 “Oh … I see.” I am not surprised ….

 He tilts his head to the side, looking – no, scrutinising me with his eyes. “Y’ sure y’re okay?”

 “Yes … yes, I am fine. As I said, I am just rather tired.” I will tell him, I will, but I cannot say anything in front of Carmen that may worry her.

 “Alright.” He doesn’t look convinced … unsurprisingly. I … I feel I am too exhausted to feign well-being in a convincing manner. “Y’ want breakfast?”

 I glance at Carmen again, seeing nut-butter on toast. “Yes … yes, I will have what Carmen is having.”

 “Alright, sure.”

\----------------

***8.40am***

 Carmen has gone into the living room to pack her bag for school – she is so very independent, mature at times. She is growing up so fast.

 This … this is the perfect opportunity to mention something to Ronald, but … the words, they are stuck in my throat. My hand rises to my mouth, and I force a cough, clearing my throat. “Ronald.”

 Something catches his attention, for his spins rapidly on his heels, staring at me. It was probably my tone of voice ….

 “Wha’ is it?”

 “There is something I have to -.”

 “Wha’? I knew somethin’ wasn’t right. What’s tha matter?”

 “N-not here.”

 “Na, come on, tell -.”

 “No. Once we drop Carmen at your grandmother’s, I will tell you.”

 He pulls a face, giving me a frown. Annoyance – no, confusion …. “Okay ….”

 “Daddy!” Carmen’s voice rings out shrilly from the other room.

 “Yes, what is it?” I call back.

 “I can’t find my colouring book!”

 Oh. I … I don’t know where it is. I always – Lord, I really am all over the place ….

 “Top drawer in tha bookshelf!” Ronald shouts back.

 How did he – he usually never remembers – he knew, and I didn’t ….

 Lord ….

\-----------------

***8.57am***

 “Okay, wha’ do y’ need ta tell me?” We have barely left the room. “Will?”

 “Yes … well ….” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “In private -.”

 “Will, jus’ tell me already,” he all but snaps. “Y’ve been actin’ weird since last night.”

 “Yes … I know.” I grab hold of his hand, teleporting into the living room. As our feet touch down, he gives me look of annoyance.

 “Will -.”

 “I am, I am going to tell you.” I take a deep breath, preparing myself. I … I can barely look at him. I do not wish to see the look of horror in his eyes …. “Take … take a seat. Please.”

\-------------

 “Wha’?!” His eyes are wide – “Why didn’t y’ tell me?!”

 “I … didn’t wish to scare you.”

 His hand shoots out, gripping mine. “Will, I’m already terrified. I – this doesn’t even make sense! Wh-why would they come after y’? Y’re jus’ a supervisor, n-not a higher up, or, or even a manager, so -.”

 “I am high enough, Ronald.”

 “B-but -.”

 “The true higher-ups do not venture into the human world. They spend their days in mansions, or secluded in churches, waiting for the word of God to reach them.”

 “Oh. Th-then y’, y’ need ta – y’ can’t go inta tha human world. It’s not safe. It’s -.”

 “I will. Collections -.”

 “No, not jus’ collections! Y’ need ta stay here – I’ll take Carmen -.”

 “No. I am not letting you -.”

 “It’s not safe!” He screeches. “Y can’t – wha’ if they follow y’ ta Grandma’s house?!”

 The breath catches in my throat. I … I should have thought of that …. “You … you have a point ….”

 “Y-yeah.” He squeezes my hand, staring at me with – oh, Ronald, don’t cry, please don’t cry …. “I’ll take Eric wi’ me or somethin’, but y’ need ta stay here.”

 I nod slowly, trying to process …. “Yes … alright.”

 “O-okay.” He takes a deep, shaking breath. “Okay.”

 “Yes … alright.” Here we go …. “Ronald, there is more I have to … say.”

 “O-okay, tell me.”

 “Grell …. The demon … told me … they tortured her to try … to get to me.”

 He jolts, flinching backwards. “Don’t be so fuckin’ stupid.”

 “P-pardon?”

 “It’s not -.”

 “No, Ronald, it was telling the truth. I know it -.”

 “Yeah, I don’t doubt tha’, but don’t y’ dare start blamin’ y’self. It’s on them, not y’.”

 “Y … you aren’t angry -?”

 “No, fuck no, not at y’.” He leans forward again. “I … I’m glad they didn’t ge’ y’ too.”

 “I – yes ….” He doesn’t –

 “Don’t beat y’self up. Please?”

 “H-how can I not, Ronald? If, if it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t -.”

 “She wouldn’t be dead if they hadn’t ‘ave killed her, Will. They didn’t ‘ave ta kill her, but they did. It’s their fault. End of.”

 “Yes ….”

 His thumb rubs against the skin of my hand. “She wouldn’t blame y’.”

 The breath becomes caught in my throat. She, she wouldn’t. I treated her so horribly, and still, she …. “I … I know.”

 “Yeah. Ah, come here.” I am yanked forward, all but fall onto him. His arms tighten around me, in a death-like grip. “It’ll be okay, Will. Y’, y’ jus’ stay in tha reaper world, and it’ll be okay.”

 I … I cannot summon a reply, cannot do anything but slump against him.

 Grell ….

\-----------------

***6.55pm***

 “That’s shite, William,” Eric says … calmly, sliding his coat over his second arm. “It wasn’t yerr fault.”

 “It really isn’t,” Alan states gently.

 I am shocked … honestly. I … I was sure Eric would fly into a rage ….

 “Th-thank you.”

 “Just keep yerself safe.” He zips up his coat. “Last thing we need is tae lose another friend.”

 “Yes, I shall ….” I … I cannot tell if he isn’t mad, or if he is simply so done, has taken so many blows, that he cannot find it in himself to care.

 “Good.” He moves over to me, giving me a rough pat on the back. “Me and Al will go with Ronnie tae pick Carmen up, so stay here.”

 “Yes … yes, alright.” Useless. Hopeless. That is how I feel. A prisoner in my own home ….

\-------------

***7.04pm***

 Eric glances at his phone, telling us that he has to leave. “Ah’m running late.” Usually, he wouldn’t care, but being paired up with another reaper – they have a responsibility to keep each other safe.

 I had honestly forgotten that he was on an evening shift tonight. My mind, it is an utter mess ….

 “Are you going to be alright reaping this late?”

 “Ah’ll be fine.”

 “Y-yes, well, take an extra scythe for good measure.”

 “Aye, alright.”

 “And return to branch between collections.”

 “Will do.” He gives Alan a peck on the cheek, “ah’ll phone yer later,” before rising from the couch.

 “Okay. Take care, Eric.”

\------------------

***9.24pm***

 The television – oh, Ronald has pressed pause on the DVD player …. “Y’ wanna head ta bed?”

 “We can, if you would like?”

 “Yeah, we probs should.” He stretches his arms above his head, yawning. “Y’ look super tired.”

 Yes … I imagine I look awful. It –

 My heart skips – a rush of air –

 No, no, not something else. I turn – Eric – he looks frantic.

 “Wha’ -?”

 “Yer, yer have tae get over tae yerr mom’s house.”

 “Wha’?! Why -?”

 “Ah, ah, don’t – she phoned – we just have tae go. Now.”


	35. Ronald. I won't let them win.

 “Wha’ – what’s goin’ on?”

 “Ah don’t know -.”

 “Y’ don’t know?! Y’ ‘ave ta -!”

 “Ronnie, ah really don’t. She wasn’t making any sense on the phone.”

 “S-she ….” Fuck. “We ‘ave ta – Carmen, she -.”

 “Ah’ll take Carmen -.”

 “No. Your shift isn’t over -.”

 “Seriously?! Fuck collections, Will -.”

 “No … he’s right. Ah cannae let Michaels work on his own.”

 “Then wha’ -?”

 “Ah’ll drop Carmen off with Al and then ah’ll meet yer later.”

 “R-right, right, yeah -.”

 “Phone me, alright?”

 “R-right.”

 “Yes, we shall.”

\----------------

 My feet – fuck, my knees almost gave out. I can’t – why’s it all dark? Fuck – “Mom?!”

 “Ronnie!” She’s running – she, she’s not hurt – thank fuck. “R-Ronnie!” I’m jumped at, her arms squeezing – shit, she’s crying. She’s really crying hard. “Th-thank goodness. I, I didn’t, I didn’t think ….”

 “Mom … what’s wrong? Wh-what’s tha matter?” 

 “I, I don’t. I … I don’t know, I don’t even know what – it doesn’t m-make any sense ….”

 “Wha’ doesn’t?” I get a shriek – “O-okay, okay, jus’ calm down.” I break the hug. I don’t wanna, I really don’t, but – “Sit down, yeah?” Squinting in the dark, I lead her over to the sofa. Fuck … she practically collapsed down onto it. I sit down too. “Jus’ tell us wha’ happened, okay?”

 “I, I can’t – it, it doesn’t seem real.”

 “It ….” Wait. “M-Mom, where’s everyone else?” No, no, they’re – “Ar-are they alright?”

 “Th-they’re fine. Up-upstairs.”

 “Okay.” Good. Good …. “Tell us wha’ happened, okay?”

 “O-okay.” She takes a deep breath. Man, she’s really shaking.

 I slide an arm around her shoulders. “Jus’ start from tha beginnin’, yeah?”

 I hear her gulp. “The … the doorbell rang.”

 What …? “O-okay. Then -.”

 “Ronald.”

 I turn around – Will’s standing close to the wall. “Yeah?”

 “The lightbulbs. They have blown. They … they are all shattered ….”

 Wh-what?

 “It was them!”

 “Wha’? Mom -?”

 “They – I … I answered the door, and … and there were two children – they were so young, and they wanted to come in. But, but their eyes – Ronnie, they … they were black.”

 What …? Black. Black eyes –

 “You let them in?!”

 “Will -.”

 “I, I didn’t. I … I was going to, but then I saw – and then they were banging on the door, and the lights – Ronnie, I … I thought they were going to kill us.” Her face falls into her hands.

 I … I don’t –

 “They were demons,” Will says.

 “Demons?!” She jolts, staring up at him. “B-but why – because of the attacks? But I’m -.”

 “They are trying to kill me. It is – it’s not safe here.” He strides – “We have to leave.”

 “B-but -.”

 “I will explain everything later. But we have to go.”

 “O-okay ….”

\------------------

***9.31pm***

 “What?!” Everyone … everyone’s at our place now, but Grandma, she’s really not happy …. “You bloody reapers! You’re nothing but trouble!”

 “Grandma -.”

 “Don’t ‘Grandma’ me! None of this would be happening if you hadn’t have associated with these monsters!”

 The fuck? Monsters? “Y’ -.”

 “No, it is my fault. Ronald -.”

 “No, Will, it’s not y’ fuckin’ fault. Grandma, it’s not tha reapers who are causin’ this.”

 “Hn, you -.”

 “And y’ve got no right ta – I’m glad I met my friends, and I’m glad I’m a reaper. Because, y’ know wha’? I’d be dead if I hadn’t ‘ave become one! Y’re -.”

 “Ronald.” Will puts a soft hand on my shoulder. R-right ….

 “Look … I know y’re upset, we all are, but throwin’ tha blame around isn’t gonna fix anythin’.”

 “Then what do you suggest?” She snaps –

 “I shall think of something,” Will says, “I promise. But for tonight, you must stay here.”

 “Where here? There isn’t enough space -.”

 “I am sure Eric can -.”

 There’s a rush of air, Emma appearing in front of us. Thank fuck. I … I was really worried the demons were gonna … gonna get to her. Jay, bless him, went to grab her from the hotel she was staying at. No questions, no moaning, he just – he’s a real lifesaver.

 She looks around the room, then at me. “What … what’s going on?”

 My gut drops. Time to explain it all, again ….

\----------------

***11.01pm***

 The crying from upstairs is finally dying down. Poor Ashley …. The little guy seemed really distressed. The lights all going out must have proper frightened him ….  

 Everyone’s camping up in our bedrooms, apart from Grandpa and Grandma – they’ve gone to Eric’s place. Thank fuck. I love her to bits, but shit, I really wish she’d think before she opens her mouth ….

 I … I guess I can’t really blame her. It, it is a hard situation ….

 My head falls back against the back of the sofa. I’m knackered, and I want to sleep, I really do, but I, I’m too on edge.

 “Will?”

 “Yes?” He turns to look at me.

 “I … I jus’, I don’t understand – why … why didn’t tha demons jus’ … jus’ … break in?”

 “There are different sorts of demons, Ronald. Not all have the strength to enter without permission.”

 “Then why did they send -?”

 “They, they wanted to scare them, terrify them … before ….”

 “Oh ….” Right. Bastards ….

 I’m glad, I’m so fucking glad they didn’t hurt them, but shit … that’s so fucked up, messing with my family like that. What fucking right do they have –

 “They were trying to send us a message.” A deep sigh falls from his mouth. “Ronald, I am sorry -.”

 “Don’t. Don’t y’ dare start blamin’ y’self again.”

 “But it -.”

 “Will, jus’ stop, okay?” I sit back upright. “None of this is y’ fault.”

 “Ronald -.”

 “Tha demons started this. They’re tha ones who brought my family inta this shit.”

 “Y-yes, I know that, but -.”

 “It’s not ya fault, William.” Mom? I turn on the sofa, watching as she walks closer, rubbing at her eyes. “Ya can’t control what they do.”

 “See?” I reach over, grabbing his hand. “It’s not y’ fault.”

 He glances away from me. “Y-yes, yes … alright ….”

 I don’t think he’s convinced … is probably just agreeing because he doesn’t wanna talk about this in front of my mom. I … I’ll just have to keep telling him. No matter what, I’m never gonna put the blame on him, because it’s not his fault. It’s just not.

 Mom slumps down on the sofa, squeezing into the gap between me and the arm of it.

 “Can’t sleep?”

 She shakes her head slowly, looking down at her lap. “I … I’m still on edge.”

 “Yeah … I bet ….”

 “Hm.” Shifting again, her head falls against my shoulder. My arms slips around her shoulders. Man … she’s still shaking a bit. “It will be okay, won’t it?”

 “Yes,” Will answers before I can, “I will figure something out in the morning.”

 She smiles at him. “I know ya will.” The smile cracks –

 “Mom -.”

 “It, it was so frightening, Ronnie. I … I thought -.”

 “I know,” I cut her off, because, fuck, I know what she’s gonna say, and I don’t wanna hear it. I, I don’t wanna hear her say she … she thought she was gonna d-die.

 I give her a squeeze, because … because she looks like she’s gonna burst into tears right on the spot.

 Mom’s a proper strong woman, and … and to see her like this, it … it shows how bad this really is.

 Fuck ….

 I … I wish I could do something to make her feel better, safer … any little thing. “Y’ want a cuppa?”

 She gives me a soft smile. “Th-that would be lovely, sweetie.”

\----------------

***Thursday 13th January***

***10.32am***

 “A-are y’ sure this will work?” I ask. Will got in touch with a priest this morning, from our world, and he’s about to ‘ward’ the house. “It’ll defo keep them out?”

 “It will. Your family will be protected as long as they do not leave the grounds of this properly.”

 “R-right.” Don’t leave the grounds …. Grandma isn’t gonna be happy about this, at all …. “S-so can we use this too?”

 “Pardon?” He says, frowning at me. No … he’s looking at me like I’m stupid ….

 “Y’ know, if, if we can ward tha house, can we ward ourselves too? F-for protection?”

 “That won’t work. And once the warding is in place, you will not be able to visit for long without feeling ill.”

 “Oh.” So … so it blocks out supernatural things in general then …. “Th-that’s okay.” As long as it’ll keep them safe, I, I can handle not visiting much.

 I just wanna protect them.

\-----------------

***11.23am***

 “You are telling me I am to be a prisoner in my own home?”

 “Well -.”

 “No, not necessarily.” I turn to Will. What does he mean? “If any of you must leave, one of us will escort you.”

 “Y-yeah, we will.” Well, not Will himself, obviously, but ….

 Fuck ….

 My hand goes up to my head. I … I’m feeling really queasy already.

 Grandma crosses her arms – don’t, don’t start again, please. I don’t have the energy –

 “Fine. That will do, I suppose.”

 What …? She actually – wow ….

 “Emma, is this going to be okay for you?” Will asks – shit, yeah, the modelling ….

 “I’ll be fine,” she smiles. “I can just tell them I’m sick with something bad and won’t be able to model for a few months.”

 A … a few months ….

 Shit ….

 That’s a long time ….

 I … I just hope this will all be over by then. I hope ….

\------------------

 “Ronald? Ronald … are you alright?” His hand touches my shoulder.  

 “Y-yeah.” I grip onto the back of a chair, trying to stop myself from falling over. Everything’s … swaying …. “J-jus’ feel really sick.”

 “Yes … the atmosphere was … oppressing.”

 “Y-yeah.” Seems to be affecting me way more than him though ….

 “Here, sit, sit down.” He helps me over to the sofa, my ass hitting the cushion. My, my legs are so shaky.

 As he sits down too, I lean onto him, shutting my eyes. I … I wish things would stop fucking spinning ….

 “Are you sure you are … alright?”

 “Y-yeah, tha sicky feelin’ -.”

 “No, I, I mean -.”

 “I’m fine. They’re safe now. That’s all tha’ matters.”

 “I see.”

 “Yeah.”

 I’m not gonna let these fuckers win. They’re not taking anyone else away from me. No way. No fucking way. I won’t let them.

 His hand strokes against the top of my arm. Feels nice …. “We should probably pay Carmen a visit soon, before we head to the association.”

 Oh … yeah, work …. He, he put us both in for an afternoon shift, right ….

 “L-let tha room stop spinnin’ first, babe.”

 “Of course.”


	36. Side story chapter 3. Prisoner.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chap and lack of updates. Haven't been very well, and one of my pets died, so haven't had the energy to write.

***Tuesday 2nd October 1888***

***8.13pm***

 Eric barrelled through the living room door, breathless and frantic, chest heaving as he gasped for air. Alan glanced at him, and nothing more, looking away again quickly. Unable to do much else, he stared down at his hands. He just didn’t have the energy, the events of the previous days having completely drained him.

 “Ah found out where they’re keeping her,” the blonde gasped out. “They might let us see her if -.”

 “I’m not going,” Alan said quietly.

 Eyes widened. “What? Al, yer -.”

 “I can’t -.”

 “Yer have tae! She’s our friend -.”

 “No … she’s not,” came his whispered reply, the brunette still refusing to give eye contact to his partner.

 “What do yer mean she’s not -?”

 “S-she’s a murderer, Eric.” Fingers twisted together, Alan fumbling with his hands. “What she did – I can’t forgive her for that.”

 “Ah know she is!” He scowled. “But we still have tae – don’t yer want tae hear her side of the story?”

 “No.”

 “Al -.”

 “I … I don’t care, Eric. There’s no reason – excuse – for what she did.”

 The blonde stared at him, shoulders slumping. “Al ….”

 “I’m sorry – I … I just can’t. I don’t want to see her – I … I don’t know if I ever will.”

 The Scotsman swallowed thickly. “Yer … yer do know what might happen tae her, don’t yer?”

 Alan looked up then, and Eric saw the tears brimming in his eyes. “I kn-know.”

 He wanted to be angry, wanted to shout and scream at Alan, make him support their friend, but it was clear how much pain his partner was in. “Okay. Ah, ah’ll see yer later then ….”

 All Alan could summon was a meek nod. “Bye ….”

 -----------------

 “Just let me see her!” Eric scowled at the prison guard in front of him, hands curling into fists at his sides.

 “I told you – Sutcliff is not allowed any visitors.”

 “Why not?!”

 The guard shot him a dirty look. “Why do you think?”

 Answering with only a grunt, Eric shoved past him.

 “Oi!” The guard caught hold of his coat, yanking him backwards. “You’re not -.”

 “Let go of me!” A tussle began, more guards racing into the hallway. They jumped on him, dragging him out of the building, all the while receiving punches and angry swears from the Scotsman.

 Eric was thrown backwards, ass hitting the ground with a dull thud. “Ack! Yer -.”

 “Don’t come back, or we’ll throw you in jail too.”

 “Yer -.”

 “Go!”

 Cussing loudly at the guards, Eric staggered to his feet, defeat washing over him. Even though he wanted to try teleporting back into the building, he really did, they’d only find him and throw him from the prison again.

 It was … pointless.

\---------------

***11.36pm***

 Alan, who’d been unable to sleep since he’d headed upstairs, got out of bed at hearing movement coming from downstairs. Rubbing at his tired, aching eyes, he slipped on his glasses before teleporting downstairs.

 His feet touched down in the living room, but he soon realised the sounds were coming from the kitchen. Following them, he pushed the door open, shoulders slumping a little as he saw Eric staggering around a chair at the table. He’d clearly been drinking.

 “Eric?”

 “Aye …” came a grumbled response.  

 “Are you … okay?”

 Eric didn’t reply as he dragged the chair out from under the table roughly, slumping down into it, a half huff, half grunt slipping past his lips as his arse hit the wooden surface.

 Alan tried again for a reply, hoping a different question would get his partner to speak. “Did you … get to see her?”

 “No, ah didn’t,” came a bitter answer. “They wouldn’t let me in.”

 _I thought so …._ “I’m sorry.”

 The blonde again said nothing, stretching out over the table. Crossing his arms, he hid his face in them, sighing deeply.

 Alan too sighed, walking swiftly over to the table. Quietly, he wrapped his arms around his partner’s shoulders from behind, leaning onto him. Though he wasn’t happy in the slightest about the situation, he could see the pain Eric was in, wanted to comfort him as best he could.

 Eric huffed again, but relaxed into the gentle hold, glad for Alan’s warmth.

 Not that he needed the comfort. In his drunken state, he’d made up his mind. He was going to teleport into the prison in the early hours, sneak in to see her – because giving up wasn’t something he was willing to do.

 He just had to see her.

\-----------------

***2.03am***

 Eric watched as Alan slept beside him, having finally fallen to sleep after much tossing and turning under the sheets. Though the drunkenness had faded to a slight tipsiness, he was sticking to his plan.

 As carefully as he could, he rose from the bed, keeping a constant eye on Alan for movement as he did so. Seeing no sign of stirring, he teleported to the prison – not an easy task without a picture in his mind of where the cells would be. Yet, as his feet crashed against the ground, eyes already adjusted to the darkness from his own bedroom, he was met with rusty metal bars.

 And there was no sign of the guards in the dark hallway. Slowly, quietly, he crept along it, almost jumping out of his skin as his name was called, shrilly and desperately. He turned to face the cell on the other side, eyes widening as they met green surrounded by red.

 “Grell,” he whispered sharply, rushing forward.

 The breath caught in his throat, because she was bleeding, or had been. Blood caked her left cheek, dried flecks crusted into the corner of her mouth, red locks matted together with the congealed substance. And as shaky hands shot out through the bars of the cage, gripping Eric’s with a vice-like, desperate grip, he could see dried, dirty copper staining under her fingernails. It was obviously from trying to claw the beeping, welded collar from around her neck – the only thing keeping her from being able to port away.

 “Grell … what have they done tae yer?”

 The hands slipped away almost instantly. “They … wanted answers.” She looked away. “Have you … heard what they are saying?”

 “Ah know what yer did, Grell. Ah saw it for myself. Lass, yer’ve … yer’ve really made a mess here. What … what were yer think -?”

 He was cut off by a loud, piercing sob, Grell’s hand slamming up to cover her mouth.

 “Lass ….” He quickly ported into the cell, yanking her up from the floor into a powerful hug, his chest tightening as she made no move to return the gesture. She was shaking against him, violently tremoring.

 It was obvious to him then. She wasn’t well in the slightest.

 “Grell, yer can talk tae me. Tell me -.” _Shite._ He’d heard movement, the door creaking – “Ah have tae go.”

 “D-don’t -.”

 “Ah’ll be back tomorrow, ah promise.” He knew if he was caught, she’d never be left alone again. And he’d never get a chance to speak to her again.

 She moved then, gripping onto him, causing him to panic further. “Grell, g-get off,” he whispered quickly, yanking himself from her grip. “Tomorrow, ah promise.”

 Her face disappeared from his view, feet hitting the carpet of his living room. “Shite.” His legs felt weak, shaky, barely able to keep him standing. “Grell ….”

 He didn’t know what to think, what to make of the situation. Nothing was making sense.

 Nothing seemed real.


	37. Side story chapter 4. Leniency.

***Wednesday 3rd October 1888***

***7.37am***

 “Hm ….” Alan awoke, vaguely remembering having a dream – or nightmare – but not able to recall any details.

 He turned a little in a warm hold, yawning, curling into himself contently. It was so cosy and comfortable under the thick sheets.

 Taking a breath in through his nose, he frowned. There was something sweet …. He knew that smell. Oh …. Eyes flew open. “You went to see her.”

 He didn’t expect an answer, wasn’t sure Eric was even awake, but a deep voice soon met his ears. “Aye.” Eric shifted against him, propping himself up on one elbow. “She’s not well, Al.”

 The brunette blinked slowly, giving a little huff, not happy that Eric was trying to continue the conversation. “Okay,” came a curt reply, Alan hoping his partner would recognise his tone.

 He didn’t want to talk about her. He didn’t want to think about the situation at all.

\-------------------

***Thursday 4th October***

***2.14am***

 “Grell,” Eric whispered, peering into the cell through the darkness. She glanced up at him from her spot on the floor, dull eyes meeting his. Without a word, she bowed her head again, staring at the floor.

 The blonde’s shoulders fell, because she looked bloodier than she had the previous night. “They’ve hurt yer again ….”

 A small sound slipped into the darkness, a weak humming as she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

 Eric disappeared from view, reappearing inside of the cell a moment later. Sinking down onto the floor, he sat close to her, left knee grazing against her leg. “Grell … what happened? Yer – why …?” Silence met him. “Grell? Yer, yer can talk tae me. Come on, Lass, please.”

 She shook her head, staring down at her dirtied hands.

 “Grell ….” His arm wrapped around her, pulling her into a tight hug. Instantly, he felt her face press to his chest, the redhead hiding away in his shirt.

 “I … I just want to go home, Darling,” she said quietly, all of the energy and usual dramatic flair gone from her voice.

 “Yer’ll be out of here soon.”

 “Hn.” A small laugh came from her. “Don’t be silly. They’ll never let me leave.”

 “Yer will. We’ll figure something out.”

 She shook her head, not believing his words for a second. The courts would never grant her leniency, and there was no way of escaping the cell. The collar, heavy and tight, a constant presence around her neck, couldn’t be removed.

 She’d tried.

 “We will, ah promise. Ah’m not leaving yer here.”

\------------------

***10.27am***

 “I don’t know, Eric,” Alan mumbled as he picked the iron from the ironing board, eyes focusing on everything but his partner. “I don’t think there is much you can do.”

 “William then.” Eric spoke as he paced around the living room. “Yer think -?”

 “Eric, I don’t know.”

 “Hn, or yer just don’t care.”

 The iron slammed down. “I’ve told you – I can’t forgive her for what she’s done.”

 “So yer want her tae die?”

 “No, of course not,” he responded, tone rising in pitch. “I never said that.” The iron was turned off. “Just – do what you think is best, but leave me out of it.”

 “Yer – Al …. Al, wait.” Eric rushed around the ironing board as his partner headed for the door. “Yer -.”

 “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 “Ah just want tae help my friend.”

 The brunette spun around, looking him in the eye for one of the few times that morning. “I know. But -.”

 “She’s not well! Why cannae yer understand that?”

 “Maybe she’s not, but she still knew what she was doing was wrong.”

 “She wasn’t thinking straight. She -.”

 “Eric, stop. Just stop.”

 “Yer -.”

 “I’m done talking about this!”

 “Al -.” His sentence was stopped by a sweeping of air, Alan disappearing from in front of his eyes. Shoulders slumped, sadness washing over him. “Al ….”

 He really needed his partner’s support in this difficult situation.

\---------------

***1.29pm***

 “Vouch for Sutcliff?” William scoffed, Eric’s plea adding to the annoyance he already felt – the blonde had entered his office without permission, without even bothering to knock. “You have got to be kidding.”

 “No, ah -.”

 “Why would I do such a thing?” He went back to his paperwork, dismissing the man in front of him. “Life has never been so peaceful.”

 “Because she’s a capable reaper.”

 “Is he? Because it seems he has been nothing but a nuisance since I was saddled with him.”

 “So yer want her dead just because she gets on yerr nerves?”

 “The courts will do with him as they see fit.”

 Eric scowled at him. “Yer -.”

 “Now, if you would stop wasting my time.”

 “No, yer -.”

 “Good day, Slingby.”

 He cursed at the supervisor, hands balling into fists as he turned – no, he wasn’t going to accept that as an answer. He turned back to face Spears, hissing “yer wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her.”

 William looked up, caught by surprise. “What?”

 “Don’t pretend like yer don’t know. She saved yerr useless arse during yerr assessment.”

 “Sh-she told you about that?” William was flustered, too embarrassed to come up with a convincing lie or cutting retort.

 “Oh, aye.” He pressed his palms against the desk, leaning in close to his supervisor, staring him down. “If it wasn’t for her, yer wouldn’t have this cushy job. Show a bit of gratitude.”

 “I -.”

 “Ah’m not asking yer tae lie on her behalf, but she’s been a good reaper. She’s always looked out for yer. And she can be useful.” He leaned in closer, hot breath gusting over William’s face. “The Phantomhive demon – she can give yer info. Tell the courts that.”

 The supervisor gulped thickly. “Get out of my office, Slingby.”

 “Aye … alright.” Hands slipped slowly from the desk, Eric turning to leave the room. There was no reason to stay longer. From William’s expressions and reactions, it was clear – he had won this argument.

\-------------------

***10.06pm***

 It was late by the time Eric returned home from his shift, a little past ten at night. Upon entering the building, his first point of call was the kitchen, reached quickly with hurried strides. He pulled a bottle of whiskey from a cupboard, opening it as he stepped his way to the living room.

 “Oh.” He stopped in the doorway of the room, having spotted Alan curled up tightly on their sofa. “Ah thought yer’d be in bed.”

 Alan didn’t look up as he spoke, head resting limply on the arm of the sofa. “Couldn’t sleep.” His voice was quiet, meek.

 The blonde nodded a little, not sure if Alan wanted him around after their argument. “Want me tae sit with yer?”

 “P-please.”

 Hearing the cracking of his partner’s voice, he quickly walked over to him, sitting down on the little space Alan had left on the couch.

 As soon as the blonde made contact with the cushion, Alan shifted into a sitting position. “Eric, I, I’m sorry -.”

 “It’s okay, Al.” He looked down at the bottle hanging between his legs. “Ah understand. It’s a … hard situation.”

 “It, it is, but I’m still sorry. It can’t be … nice for you either.”

 “Aye ….” He gestured with a tired hand for Alan to come close. “Ah just don’t want tae lose her.”

 Alan shifted, leaning into the blonde’s side, relaxing a little as a strong arm wrapped around him. “I know. Did you speak to William?”

 “Oh, aye,” he chuckled slightly, “ah think ah’ve got him on board.”

 “You did? How?”

 “Just a wee bit of guilt-tripping.”

 The brunette laughed quietly too. “That’s mean, Eric.”

 “Well, if it gets the job done.”

 “Hm … true.”

 Eric took a swig of whiskey before asking “we alright now?”

 “We are.” Even though he was disgusted by what Grell had done, he still cared about his partner immensely. He didn’t want him to suffer.

\----------------

 The next week came, and with it, Grell’s trial. Though Eric couldn’t be sure that William had spoken at it, when the sentencing finally came through, it was better than expected, than the Scotsman had ever dared to hope.

 One-year solitary confinement, then house arrest.


	38. Eric. Injuries and wee lasses.

***Sunday 16th January***

***10.05pm***

 “Yer alright, Lad?” We’re having a bit of a get-together, because we all need to unwind, have some fun, but Ronnie looks like he's about to fall asleep. I tried to get Olly to join us, but he’s still shutting himself away in the spare room, not speaking to anyone.

 “Hmm …?” Ronnie looks at me, blinking slowly. “Wha’ was tha’?”

 “Yer okay? Yer look knackered.”

 “Oh … yeah, I’m fine.”

 “His grandmother has been running him ragged the last few days.” William – that was a glare …. I guess he isn’t happy about the situation ….

 “Yeah … she keeps gettin’ me ta take her places.” He yawns. “Swear she’s doin’ it on purpose – never normally goes out this much. And tha wardin’ isn’t helpin’.” He’s acting like he’s annoyed, but I don’t think he is. Whatever keeps them safe.

 “I can go with her next time, if you want?” Al offers.

 “Ha, don’t think that’d go down very well. Thanks though.”

 “Hm, true.”

 “Daddy ….” Carmen’s waking up. Poor lass has been tired tonight, has been asleep for the past few hours. “Thirsty.”

 “I’ll get you a drink,” Al says, getting up from next to me.

 William glances his way. “Thank you.”

\------------------

***11.55pm***

 “Go tae bed, Al.” I didn’t know one person could yawn so much.

 “No … no, it’s okay.” He picks up another paper plate from the table. Another. Evan is a gannet and a half.

 “No, go on. Ah can finish off the rest.”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Aye.” There’s only a few bottles and cups left to pick up now.

 “Mm, okay.” The black bag is plopped down on the floor, Al wobbling over to me. He’s drunk on tired, looks like. His lips meet my cheek, a soft peck before he wanders off – where’s he going? Ahh, he’s found the stairs.

 I grab the rubbish bag once I hear soft footsteps going up the stairs, shove the last few food wrappers in. Ock, there’s a cup on the mantlepiece – who left that there?

 My hand stretches out towards it, the cup right next to –

 I shouldn’t … I shouldn’t look. I don’t want to – but I just can’t help myself. My eyes fix on the central photograph. Grell …. She –

 Ack, why do I always do this to myself? Dwelling isn’t going to – I twist it around, hiding her – I need to continue moving forward, or I’m going to end up in the same state as Olly.

 Al has put up with enough of my shite …. I’m not going back there.

 I can’t afford to.

\---------------

***Friday 21st January***

***9.54am***

 “Al, yer be careful, alright?” William has just been on the phone – demons have been spotted all over the city this morning.

 “I will be.”

 “Because -.”

 “I’ll be okay, Eric. William’s putting me in a large group.”

 “Ah know that,” my arms swoop around him from behind, “but yer still need tae watch yerr back.”

 “I know. I will.” His lips graze my jaw. “Try not to worry too much, okay?”

 “Okay ….”  How? How can I not worry? It’s like he’s being sent out into a warzone ….

\------------

***10.45am***

 “Alan. Alan Humphries! Where is he?!” Shite, shite! I got a call – “Is he alright? Just tell me he’s -.”

 “Room 206.”

 “200 and -.”

 “Down the hallway.” She points. “On the left.”

 “On, on the left – aye. Thank yer.” 206. I have to find him. I, I have to – he’s alright. He just has to be. I, I cannae – 186. 190.

 “Al ….”

 198. Shite, I can hear – he’s screaming. “Al!” I burst through – oh, God. He’s screaming, writhing – “A-Al ….” He’s hurt, he’s really – I shove past the nurses, grabbing hold of his hands. They’re so cold. There’s blood, blood everywhere. His gut – “Al, Al, ah’m here. Just, just hang on, please.”

 “Nghh!”

 “Al, p-please. Ah, ah cannae lose yer.”

 “I’m not dying, you idiot! Ahhh, ha, it, it just really hurts.”

 “Yer, yer’re not ….”

 “No!”

 “Yer – ah, ah told yer tae be careful. Ah told – how did this happen?!”

 He groans, nails digging –

 “Al, what happened?”

 “Nghhh ….” His eyes clamp shut. He, he’s in too much pain to –

 “Sweetie, you can’t be in here right now.”

 What? Me –

 A nurse is in the doorway – what? There’s a wee lass … standing right there, a tiny little blonde girl. The glasses – no ….

 Ock … she’s trembling, the poor lass. But why –

 “Th-thank y … you.” It’s a tiny, high pitched squeak – that poor girl.

 Al grits his teeth, forces a smile in her direction. “It, it’s okay, sweetie. You … you d-don’t have to … th-thank me – ngh ….” He tenses up, starts coughing, hacking –

 “We can come back later, okay?” The nurse ushers her out of the room, “now’s not a good time,” pulling the door shut tightly behind her.

 The nurses come close again, pushing something through an IV line. “You’ll feel better in no time, Alan.”

 Painkillers, aye, aye … that’ll help. It is helping already, his body relaxing. Oh, no, it was a sedative …. “Yer just get some rest, Al, alright?”

 “Mmmm ….”

 As he knocks out, my eyes fix on the door again. That girl ….

 Al, what happened ….?

\---------------

***9.56pm***

 “Aye, aye, he’s alright. He’s asleep.” They discharged him about an hour ago. The … gaping hole in his stomach hasn’t started healing yet, but the doctor said he’s going to be fine. He’ll be fine ….

 Ronnie sighs down the phone, in relief. “Y’ need us ta come over?”

 “No, ah’ll be alright.” He and William have done enough, spending most of the day at the hospital. “Ah’m probably going tae get some sleep myself.”

 “Yeah, alright. Phone us if y’ need anythin’ though, okay?”

 “Aye, will do. Thank yer.”

 We end the call, phone placed down on the nightstand. I don’t much feel like sleeping, still on edge from – and that lass. I can’t stop thinking about that tiny girl. So tiny ….

 But I need to sleep, tell myself that as I slide into bed, careful not to brush up against Al. It’s probably going to be a long day tomorrow ….

\----------------

***Saturday 22nd January***

***9.15am***

 “It looks like it’s starting tae heal, Al.” Though it still looks awful. I had to peel the bandages from him bit by bit, they were so stuck. Reapers don’t often get bandaged up … but they needed to keep … things in.

 “E-Eric … please stop … poking at my intestines.”

 “Ock, sorry, babe.”

 “It … it’s okay.”

 “Yer should be able tae leave yerr bandages off in a few hours.” Gently, I pull at the healthy skin around the wound. “Aye … it’s drying out.”

 “I hope so. They’re … itchy.”

 I chuckle as I cover the wound with a large dressing pad. “Aye, ah bet. Sweaty too.”

 “Mmm.” He winces as I ease him into a sitting position, fisting the sheets as he keeps himself upright. The bandages are wrapped around him as quickly as I can, the poor lad hissing as I help him back down onto the bed.

 “Yer alright?”

 “F-fine ….” He closes his eyes, sucking in air – I wish the hospital hadn’t discharged him without pain medication. The co-codamol I bought isn’t doing a thing for him. Eyes opening again, he looks at me. “You … asked … what happened?”

 I lean in a bit closer, because I’ve been wanting to know since last night. Ock … no, he needs to rest. “Aye, but ah don’t need tae know right now.”

 “No … it’s okay.” He pauses, before pale lips part again. “That … that young girl … was part of our group.”

 “They put her on collections?” I mean, I guessed, but …. “She’s just a baby.” She’s smaller than Carmen, cannae be older than four years old ….

 “I … I know. I couldn’t believe it myself.”

 “Yer think she’s been around a while?” They wouldn’t send someone so young out –

 “No, Eric. She … she looked terrified – she, she was shaking like a leaf. I … I don’t think she knew what she was doing.”

 “Then why did they let her leave training?”

 “I … I don’t know. I can’t … understand it.” Air is blown onto my face as he sighs. “I felt so bad for her.”

 “Aye ….” I do too. She looked so overwhelmed.

 “Then the demons showed up … and … and Eric, they went straight for her.”

 My blood starts to boil – how low does something have to be to go after a kid? “Bastards.”

 “Mmm. I got hurt fending them off.” A sad expression – I haven’t seen that solemn, defeated look in so long ….

 “What is it?”

 “No … no one else wanted to help her, Eric. The rest of the group … just scattered.” It just keeps getting worse and worse …. “I … I know they were scared, we all are, but ….”

 “Cowards. How could anyone – she’s just a baby.”

 “She … she is. I … I hope she’s okay.”

 “Aye, ah -.”

 “I, I want to help her, b-but I don’t – I don’t even know her name.”

 I reach a hand out, cup his cheek, because he’s getting worked up, upset. And I understand it, am up in arms about it myself, but worrying isn’t going to help him recover. “We’ll figure something out, Al.”

 “W-we will?”

 “Aye, once yer’re better -.”

 “N-no.” His eyes fill with panic. “If, if she goes out on another reap, they’ll -.”

 “Ah’ll speak tae William.” My thumb rubs against soft skin. “He’ll know what tae do. But yer need tae rest.”

 “W-William.” I feel him relax against me. “Of course. Th-thank you.”

 “It’s no bother.” I lean in, lips touching his forehead – it’s hot …. I pull away, back of my hand – “Yer’re burning up.”

 “It … it’s probably just a re … reaction to the venom, Eric.”

 “Aye, but -.”

 “I … I don’t feel t … too bad. Don’t worry.”

 “Aye, well, ah’ll get yer a damp cloth.” Need to get rid of that as soon as possible.

 “Okay,” he gives me a small smile, “thank you.”

\------------

 “A child?” William questions, sounding surprised.

 “Aye, she was in Al’s group yesterday. Yer didn’t know?”

 “No … no. I didn’t realise that she was so young, only that she was a new recruit. That is why I put her in such a large group.”

 “Well she shouldn’t have been out in the field in the first place. Ah don’t know – she’s just a wee girl. She cannae understand -.”

 “It is a matter of numbers. With everything that is going on, it seems that they are pushing out new recruits as soon as possible, prepared or not.”  

 “Don’t defend -.”

 “No, I am not. I am just stating facts.” He sighs down the phone. “I shall submit a report asking for her to be referred back to the academy. Leave it with me.”

 “Will that work?”

 “I shall make it work.”

 “Aye … alright. Thanks.”

 The call is ended … with a sigh. I was expecting it to make me feel more at ease, but I feel worse. I can read between the lines. It wasn’t just a matter of numbers. They sent that poor lass out as bait, ‘useless’ prey for the demons to swoop upon, to protect the experienced reapers around her. It’s sickening.

 What is this world coming to?

\----------------

***1.11pm***

 My heartbeat quickens as I peel the now dry cloth away from Al’s head, reaching forward – ock, he’s cooled down. Good … that’s good. I was working myself into a bit of a tizzy there ….

\--------------

***7.50pm***

 “Y’ okay?” Ronnie asks, blurting it out as soon as I open the door. “Is Al okay?”

 “Aye, aye, he’s on the mend.” The wounds have healed now, at least on the outside. I think there’s still some internal repairing to do – he was too sore to sit up a few hours ago.

 “Ah, good – is he awake?”

 “Nah, he’s knocked out at the minute.” Has been for most of the day.

 “Oh, okay. I -.”

 “Is William not with yer?”

 “Oh, na, he’s lookin’ after Carmen.”

 “Oh, alright.” Shite, I wanted –

 “He said somethin’ ‘bout a kid though? He’s sorted it out.”

 “Ahh, good.” Good.

 “Yeah ….” He frowns. “But a little kid bein’ a reaper? That’s so weird.”

 “It is. Ah don’t know what tae make of it.”

 “Yer think she’s alright?”

 “No, ah – come in. Ah’ll tell yer what ah know.”

 “Alright.” He lifts up a plain white plastic bag. “I brought Chinese.”

 “Oh, thank yer.” I didn’t even realise it was dinnertime … or how hungry I am. With everything that’s happened, eating really hasn’t crossed my mind.  

 “I got extra too – thought Al might want some?”

 “He’s probably going tae be too tired.”

 “Oh … okay.” Ock, don’t look so disappointed, lad.

 “Ah’ll heat it up for him tomorrow.”

 “Okay, cool.” He smiles at me.

 As he sets the bag down in the kitchen, I ask “what did yer get him?”

 “Chicken Chow Mein. That’s his favourite, right?”

 “Aye, it is. He’ll be chuffed once he wakes up.”

 Aye, that seems to have perked up him a bit.

 Ahh, it’s great to have friends like Ronnie. I don’t know what I’d do without him.  

\--------------

***9.36pm***

 I wave Ronnie off with a promise to phone him in the morning, mostly so he can check up on Al, but partly to figure out if we can do anything to help this girl. I just, I just don’t have the brain power to decide what’s best, and I don’t want to move forward without speaking to Al first.

 I still don’t know her name.

 But now William has managed to send her back to the academy, she’s not in any immediate danger. I’ll think about it tomorrow ….

 The stairs are a slow climb, because I keep stopping – Grell ….

 I can’t get the images of – it’s because of the attack. It’s brought it all back again ….

 Grell ….

 Stop it. You can’t do this to yourself. Not now. Not ever again.

 I finally make it into the room – “Oh, yer’re awake.”

 “Mmm. I’m feeling a bit better.”

 “Great.” I’m over at the bed, feeling his forehead. His fever hasn’t come back. Good. “Yer’re looking better.” Pale, but better. “Yer fancy anything tae eat?”

 “No … no,” he giggles weakly, “I don’t think my insides can handle food right now.”

 Aye, good point …. “Alright. A drink?”

 He shakes his head against the pillow.

 “Aye, alright.” I slip into bed next to him, sliding him close, inch by inch. “This alright, babe? Not too painful?”

 “It’s okay.” He snuggles his face against me – poor lad is about to doze off again already.

 “Yer get some sleep, alright?”

 “Hmm … okay. You too. Have you been sleeping okay?”

 “Not too bad, aye.”

 “Hmm, good.” He lifts his head. “Eric, was that the door?”

 “The d – oh, aye, it is.” Who – “Ronnie’s probably forgotten something.”

 “Ronnie was here?”

 “Aye,” I slip out of bed, “he hasn’t long left.” The door shutting was probably what woke him up.

 Giving him a goodnight kiss, I hurry out of the room – ock, Ronnie, give me a minute. I’m down the stairs, grabbing my keys as I pass through the hallway. The door – oh ….

 It, it’s that wee girl again, and the nurse from yesterday ….

 “Is -?”

 “I’m sorry, I know it’s late, and I know it’s against procedure to give out patients’ addresses, but she came to the hospital to see Mr. Humphries, and she wouldn’t leave until she did.”

 “No … that’s fine.”

 “Can I leave her here for now? I’ll come back as soon as my shift -.”

 “No, it’s fine, ah … ah’ll figure something out.”

 She smiles softly at me. “Thank you.” Carefully, she opens her hand from around – ock, her hand is so tiny. “Go on, Emily, it’s okay.”

 Emily ….

 “Emily, you wanted to come here, didn’t you?” The nurse glances up at me again, whispers “she’s quite shy.”

 “Aye ….” Aye, I can see that. She hasn’t made eye contact with me since I opened the door. “Emily is a very pretty name.”

 No answer ….

 “My name’s Eric.”

 ….

 “Yer can talk tae me. It’s okay, ah’m not as scary as ah look, promise.”

 Nothing ….

 “Emily?”

 “I … I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”

 “Oh, no, sweetie, this isn’t your fault.”

 “Ock, no, it’s not.” I stoop down – looming above her probably isn’t helping. “None of this is yerr fault.” Ock … she’s so grimy. How didn’t I notice it before? Her hair is greasy, matted together, and her clothes – she doesn’t have a clue how to look after herself. Why hasn’t anyone been looking out for her?

 “It, it is. I got him hurt.”

 “No ... no, Lass, yer didn't.”

 She looks up, and my stomach drops. She’s so thin … so pale. And dark, black under her eyes. God, it brings back memories of the first time meeting Al, when yer’re so gaunt that there’s a permanent shadow cast above your cheekbones.

 She … she looks just like Ronnie did as a kid ….

 Lass … what happened to you?

 She flinches backwards.

 “Sorry.” I’d reached a hand out, out of instinct …. “Do yer want tae see Alan now?”

 She nods at me slowly, turned away from me with her arms hugged around herself.

 “I’ll see myself out,” the nurse says quietly.

 “Alright. Thank yer.”

 As the door clicks shut, I slowly reach a hand out again. “He’s upstairs, alright?”

 She stares at my hand, seems so nervous.

 “It’s okay, ah’m not going tae hurt yer.”

 Her eyes meet the floor, and then she looks up again, reaching out slowly. Her … her hands are just as grubby, dirt and dried blood stuck under her fingernails. Ock, so tiny too. She touches mine, icy skin – “Are yer cold?”

 A slow nod.

 “Alright, I’ll find yer something warm tae wear once we go see Alan.”

 “O-okay.”

 “Alright, it’s this way.” We walk slowly, very slowly, but it seems – aye, she’s struggling, limping …. I thought – did she get hurt when the demons …? I want to pick her up and carry her up the stairs, but it’ll just scare her ….

 She makes it up the stairs, somehow … and we go into the bedroom.

 Al’s head turns slowly, the tiredness seeming to vanish as he lays eyes on Emily. “Oh.” Struggling to sit up, he winces, but gives her that soft smile of his as soon as he’s upright. “Hello.”

 “Y-you okay?”

 “I’m a lot better, thank you.” The smile’s still there, but I can see the upset forming in his eyes as she wobbles over to him. He feels so sorry for her too. “Are you -?”

 “I … I’m s-sorry. It, it’s m-my fault.”

 “What -?”

 “I’m sorry! P-please don’t be m-mad.” God … what has this kid been through? Someone so young shouldn’t be – she shouldn’t be fretting, panicking like this.

 “I’m not mad. It’s not your fault -.”

 “Emily,” I drop in.

 “Emily …. Emily, none of this is your fault, okay?” He says softly.

 “B-but -.”

 “It’s not. You … don’t have to … apologise for anything, okay?”

 “R-really?”

 “Yep. And … I’m okay … so don’t worry.”

 “You … you don’t look okay ….” A tiny hand reaches up, fingers curling into the loose sleeve of Al’s nightshirt. She’s really taken to him. I’m not surprised – he was probably the first person … the only person … to try to help her. “You look poorly.”

 “I’m … f … fine, I … promise.”

 No … he’s getting more tired by the second …. His head’s starting to bob ….

 “Emily, it’s getting late. We need tae let Al rest.”

 She turns around – ock, don’t give me that look. “B-but -.”

 “It’s okay, Emily. I’ll still … be here in the morning.” He eases himself back down into a flat position, too exhausted to sit up any longer. “We’ll talk then, okay?”

 Silence ….

 “Emily,” I extend a hand towards her, “let’s go downstairs, alright?”

 Slowly … sadly, she nods. With a whispered “okay …” her hand touches mine.

 “Goodnight, Emily,” Al says softly, giving me a look to tell me to take care of her.

 I give him a quick nod.

 “N-night.”

 Slowly, I lead her out of the room, down the stairs. My feet – what’s that sound? I glance – she’s avoiding eye contact again …. “Emily, are yer okay?” No, no, she’s really not. I get down in front of her – she’s trying not to cry, to hold it in. “What is it, Lass?” A tiny balled up fist goes to her eye. “Come on, talk tae me. Emily, look at me.” I get a shake of the head. “Come on, yer can tell me. It’s alright.”

 “M-mad.”

 “Ah’m not mad.”

 “N-no,” a sob slips out, “b-be mad.”

 “No, no, ah won’t be.”

 “P-promise.”

 “Ah promise. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

 “L-lonely.”

 Oh, Lass …. “Yer’re lonely?”

 She nods, starts to bawl – my heart sinks. I just want to pick her up and cuddle her. This … this poor girl – she just looks so broken, so vulnerable ….

 “Yer don’t have tae feel lonely, Emily. Ah’m here. Alan’s here. Yer can stay here.”

 The hand drops, and she looks at me with watery eyes. “C-can?”

 “Aye, of course yer can.” I try to reassure her with a smile. “Yer can stay here as long as yer need, okay?”

 Sniff. Sniff.

 “Is that what yer want?”

 Ahh, that was a quick nod.

 “Alright. Dry those eyes then.”

 The back of her hand rubs roughly against her cheek.

 “Great.” I push myself back to my feet. “Let’s get some sleep, okay?”

 “Sleep ….”

\-------------

***3.14am***

 She’s curled up on a chair in the living room now, so tiny she fits on the cushion between the arms. Even Al’s jumper, as small as he is, swamps her, could wrap around her twice.

 I pull my glasses off, give my eyes a rough rub before slipping them back on again. It’s past three in the morning, but I don’t want to fall asleep before she does.

 I think that’s going to be a while yet though – she isn’t showing any signs of going to sleep any time soon. No great surprise there. Being in a strange place with people she barely knows – she’s going to be on edge.

 Her eyes dart between me and one of the pups sleeping on the floor and back again before she settles on the dog, staring at him. She’s seemed interested in him since we came down here.

 “Yer can pet him if yer want. He won’t bite.”

 She slips off of the chair before I finish talking, pulling – that leg is really causing her bother. It should be healing. If it’s not better by tomorrow, I’ll ask her what happened to it. Aye … she’ll probably be a bit more at ease, a bit more likely to talk about it tomorrow.

 Slowly, she reaches out, fingertips grazing the top of Toby’s ear. “Soft ….”

 “Aye, he is. Do yer like him?”

 “Y-yeah.” She strokes at his head and then just flops down onto him. Toby flinches a wee bit, looking around at her before going back to resting his chin against the floor. Bless. He’s such a chilled out wee pup.

 Emily curls into him, snuggling down into his fur.

 “Is he comfy?”

 “Yeah ….”

 Ahh, she sounds sleepy. “Yer want tae sleep there?”

 She looks up at me, eyes going wide. “Is … is that okay?”

 “Aye, of course it is.” It’s not going to be the most comfortable spot, but if it makes her happy.

 “Okay.”

 I get up from the sofa, grab a blanket from nearby. It’s draped over her, tucked around her loosely – I don’t want to scare her by touching her. “Goodnight, Emily.”

 “Good … goodnight.”


	39. Eric. Settling in.

***Sunday 23rd January***

***6.56am***

 “Uhh ….” What time is it? Rolling over, I dig my phone out of my pocket. Still early … alright. Emily’s still asleep – good … good. May as well get a few more hours in while I can ….

 I shift around, trying to get comfortable again – ahh, that’s better ….

 Aye, think I’ve found the winning spot ….

\--------------

***9.18am***

 “Hnnn ….”

**Bang!**

 What the hell was – the floor. I look over the sofa – Al’s on the floor. “Shite.” I scramble over to him, “yer alright?” pulling him to his feet.

 “F-fine.” His arm wraps around his stomach, a look of pain on his face. “Still … just a little sore.”

 “Yer sure? Ah can take yer back -.”

 “N-no, no, I’m fine.”

 “Aye … alright.”

 He slips out of my grasp, walking gingerly over to the sofa. Gripping onto the arm, he eases himself down onto the cushion with a huff.

 I join him. “Yer need -?”

 “Al-Alan?”

 I look across the room, see Emily sitting up, staring at the both of us.

 “Oh, good morning, Emily.” Al leans forward, just a tad. “Did you sleep okay?”

 He gets a slow nod. “Comfy.” Carefully, she gets to her feet, moving – she’s still limping …. I think – aye, looks like it’s her hip causing her problems ….

 “Emily … is your leg hurting you?” Al asks before I figure out how to phrase the question.

 She freezes, staring up at us. “Wh-what?”

 “You’re not walking properly,” he says as softly as he can.

 “Aye, yer’re limping. Is it yerr hip? Does yerr hip hurt?”

 “Hip ….” She whispers, nodding.

 “Why? Did … the demons hurt it?”

 “N-no … Mommy hurt it when, when I was l-little.”

 My stomach drops. I, I can only guess what shite she’s been put through. “Well … it shouldn’t be hurting yer now.”

 “Yeah, all the owwies go away when you turn into a reaper,” Al explains, “so you’ll be able to walk properly if you try.”

 It must be a mental thing with her, it just has to be. She’s so used to dragging herself around like this that – ock, poor lass.

 She doesn’t say anything, eyes turning to the floor. Ock, does she think we’re telling her off? “Emily -.”

 “But we can deal with that later, okay?” Al says, must have noticed her reaction too.

 Emily glances up again, fiddling with the long sleeve of the jumper. “O-okay.” She shuffles a little closer to us, hand reaching up. Al’s nightshirt is tugged on gently.

 “You want to come up here?”

 A nod.

 “Okay.” Al bends down stiffly, huffing as he lifts her from under the armpits. As soon as she’s plonked down in his lap, she twists around, rising onto her knees, pulling herself up his body. Her face buries in his neck.

 Al chuckles a bit awkwardly. “Is … is that comfy?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Okay.” Carefully, he slips one arm around her back.

 We sit in the quiet for a wee while before I decide to break it. “Do yer want something tae eat?”

 It’s quiet for another moment before she peels herself away from Al, blinking around at me. “Y-yeah.”

 I bet she’s starving. “What do yer fancy?”

 The eye contact breaks again, green eyes looking down. “I … I dunno.”

 “Why don’t we go into the kitchen?” Al asks. “See if anything looks yummy?”

 “O-okay.”

\---------------

 My gut rumbles loudly as I take another two rounds of golden bread from the toaster. I don’t know how Al’s gone so long without food. Even with that Chinese last night, I’m still starving.

 “Here.” I glance over my shoulder, watching as Al holds out a tissue. The poor lass started crying when she couldn’t figure out what she wanted to eat. I … I think she was scared of asking, telling us what she wanted, in case we got mad at her.

 The lass just stares at the surface of the kitchen table, refuses to look up.

 “Come on, dry those eyes. It’s okay.” His hand inches closer, dabbing at her cheeks lightly with the tissue.

 I turn back to the toast, slathering the slices with thick layers of butter. I know it won’t do anything to help her now, but … but that logic isn’t stopping the feeling of responsibility to feed her up. No kid should be this skinny ….  

 “Emily, do yer want anything on yerr toast?” Ock, no, don’t put her on the spot again. Give her a few choices, at least, to take the pressure off. “We have strawberry jam, or chocolate spread?”

 “Or you can just have it with butter,” Al adds.

 “J-jam.”

 “Alright.” I go over to the fridge, listening as Al starts waffling on about jam. He’s obviously trying to distract her – ock, that was a bit of a giggle. Bless ….

\-------------

 Me and Al exchange glances over the table before my eyes go back to Emily, the lass cramming toast into her mouth without even taking a breath. She’s ravenous, absolutely starving.

 I … I shouldn’t really be surprised – she couldn’t have had much access to food since she came here – but to see her … to just see her so desperately hungry …. It’s a real shame ….

 She scrambles for another piece of toast – ack, the orange juice – “Ock, shite!” I jump up as it spills –

 Emily scarpers – “Ock, Emily, no, no, don’t – ah, ah didn’t mean tae shout.”

 She starts shaking, looking at me like I’m going to –

 “It just startled me. Ah’m not mad, okay?” I drop down onto one knee in front of her, sighing as she inches away. “Ah’m sorry for raising my voice.”

 Fingers pull at the jumper sleeve again. “It … it’s okay.” Her teeth scrape against her lips. “S-sorry. I … I’ll clean it up.”

 “Ock, no, Lass, it’s alright. Ah’ll deal with that. Yer just finish off yerr breakfast, alright?”

 “Okay.”

 As she pulls herself back up onto the kitchen chair, I tear a couple of sheets from the kitchen towel roll. The juice is mopped – Al’s barely eaten any of his cereal …. “Yer not hungry, babe?”

 “N-no.” He shifts in his chair, arm sliding around his stomach. “I … I don’t feel too well.”

 “Wh-what’s wrong?” Emily squeaks.

 Al forces a smile in her direction. “I just feel a bit sicky.”

 “B-because the demons hurt you?”

 Al pauses, probably because he doesn’t want to make her feel bad again. “Yes … but I’ll be okay.”

 “Yer should lay down.”

 “Hmm … I think I will.” Grabbing onto the edge of the table, he pushes himself to his feet.

 “C-can I come too?” Emily asks.

 “Of course you can.” He walks slowly towards the door. “Just bring your food with you.”

 “Ah’ll bring it in.” With the way that leg is, I don’t want to risk her dropping it. She slips out of her seat as I pick the plate up from the table, following her into the living room.

 As soon as he’s on the sofa, she is too, pushing up against him. “Will … will you really be okay?”

 “I’ll be fine,” Al smiles, giving her a wee side-hug. “Don’t worry.”

\------------

***11.33am***

 “Ock, that’s adorable.” She’s fast asleep on the sofa, spread out like a starfish. I’ve never seen anyone look so comfortable.

 I bet she needs it – can’t have had many restful nights since becoming a reaper ….

 “Hmm … it is.”

 I lay a blanket down gently over her before heading for the thick armchair, Al following stiffly. He eases himself down onto my lap, head falling against my shoulder. My hand goes to his back, palm working up and down in slow motions. “Yer should head tae bed, babe.”

 He shifts around, rubbing at his head. “I … I think I will. Will you be okay with Emily?”

 “Aye, we’ll be fine.”

 “Okay.” He pushes himself up from me shakily –

 “Yer need help getting up the stairs?”

 “N-no, I’ll be fine.”

 “Alright.”

 “But can you ask Ronnie for some of Carmen’s old clothes?”

 “Aye, ah’ll phone him in a bit.”

 “And if -.”

 “Go tae bed, Al,” I smile.

 “Okay, okay,” he laughs lightly, “I’m going.”

 “Alright. Goodnight.”

 “No, not goodnight.” A wee giggle escapes him. “If I’m not up in a few hours, poke me.” He raises his arm, glancing at his watch. “Call me at one-o’clock.”

 “Aye, alright,” I nod, knowing that I’m not going to. It’s obvious his body still has some repairing to do. I best let that happen.  

\-----------------

***12.24pm***

 “Yeah, sure, she can borrow some,” Ronnie says down the phone. 

 “Thanks.” Wait …. “Do yer have any older clothes?”

 “Older clothes?” He asks, sounding confused.

 “Aye, from last year. She’s a bit smaller than Carmen.”

 “Uh … yeah … should ‘ave some … somewhere.”

 “If yer don’t, that’s -.”

 “Na, na, I know we kept some. I’ll jus’ ‘ave ta ask Will.”

 “Aye, alright. There’s no great rush.”

 “Uh, I’ll probs be down in a bit. Got somewhere ta be later.”

 “Grandma dragging yer around London again?”

 “Ha, how did y’ guess?”

 I chuckle down the phone. “Just calling from past experiences, ah guess.”

 “Heh … good point ….”

\--------------

***1.13pm***

 “Yer want anything tae eat, Lass?” I ask, breaking the silence.

 She hasn’t long woken up, but seems more on edge again with Al upstairs. I get a shake of the head, and then a yawn, tiny hand nudging her glasses up to rub at her eye.

 “Still full from breakfast?”

 “Y-yeah.”

 “Aye, okay.” I glance around the room, trying to think of something else to say … something to keep her occupied. Oh … we have a few board games … but I don’t think she’d be up for playing those. Uh – ock, you idiot. There’s a TV in the room for a reason. “Do yer like cartoons?”

 Her head lifts up again, eyes meeting mine. “I … I dunno.”

 She doesn’t – don’t tell me she didn’t even ….

 “Th … they sound fun ….”

 “Aye, they are, they’re great for a laugh.”

 “Okay.” 

 I slip off of the chair, snatching up the remote. The TV comes to life, blue TV guide flashing up as I press the menu button. “Hm, let’s see if we can find yer something good.” I scroll through – ock, they’re re-running old episodes of Scooby-Doo. Great stuff. “This is a good one. Yer want tae try it?”

 “Okay.”

 I click onto it – ock, that’s loud. I hurry to turn the volume down, not wanting to scare her.

 “D-doggy.”

 “Aye, that’s right. He’s a cute pup, isn’t he?” I smile.

 “Yeah.” She slides from the sofa onto the floor, scooting closer to the TV stand. “Cute ….”

 A few minutes go by, Emily inching closer, leaning forward, a little at a time. She’s completely engrossed.

 A giggle – that’s the cutest sound. Bless her. Digging my phone out of my pocket, I check for notifications. It’s probably best to just leave her to it. Watching her is just going to put her on edge.

 Ah, the door – “Emily, Emily, it’s alright. It’s just the doorbell.”

 “Oh, o … okay.”

 “Yer just stay there, alright? Ah’ll be right back.”

 “Okay.” She twists back towards the TV as I head out of the room. Opening the door, I’m met with a smile from Ronnie.

 “Hey.”

 “Hey.” I spot the black bag nestled in his arms. “Ock,” the bag is taken from him, “thanks for bringing these.” I can get Emily in the bath now. The wee lass really does need a wash ….

 “No probs. It’s ….” The smile slips, the colour draining –

 “Yer alright, Lad?”

 He doesn’t answer, not even looking me in the eye. No … he’s looking behind – I turn, see Emily standing in the hallway.

 Oh. “Ronnie -.”

 “I … I should ….” He staggers backwards out of the doorway.

 “Wait a min – Emily, stay there, alright? Ah’ll be right back.” I yank the door shut, closing the gap between us. Shite, he looks like he’s about to throw up. “Ronnie -.”

 “S-sorry, I, I jus’ ….” His body starts to shake. “She, she ….”

 “She looks just like yer did, ah know.”

 A shrill laugh slips out, voice cracking. “Y-yeah, n-no kiddin’.” He turns away, “shit,” turning back almost instantly, “th-tha fuck has tha’ kid been through?”

 “Ah don’t know. Ah’m not even sure ah want tae know.”

 “R-right.” 

 “Aye.” Reaching out, I pat him gently on the shoulder. “Yer going tae be alright?”

 The gulp he makes is audible. “Y-yeah ….” He sucks in a deep breath through his teeth. “Yeah, I … I’ll be okay. I, I jus’ wasn’t ex-expectin’ tha’, y’ know?”

 “Aye … ah should have warned yer. Ah’m sorry.”

 “Na … na, it’s not y’ – I … I’m jus’ bein’ stupid.”

 “Ock, no, yer’re not. It’s understandable, Lad.”

 “R-right.” He looks down at his feet, shifting from one to another. “I-I think I’m gonna go, alright?”

 “Aye, that’s fine,” I say gently. “No bother.” I … I really cannae blame him. I wouldn’t want to be staring my past directly in the face if I were him either. “Yer need a hug before yer go?”

 I’m met with watery eyes. “P-please.”

\--------------------

***1.40pm***

 “Aye, that should be warm enough for yer,” I smile, pulling my hand out of the bath water. “Yer going tae be okay in here?”

 She stares up at me, fresh pair of clothes draped over her folded arms. “Yeah.”

 “Alright. Shout me if yer need anything.”

 After getting a small nod, I head out of the room, pulling the door shut behind me. There’s shuffling from inside of the room, and then splashing. Aye, she’s fine.

 Taking a few steps away from the door, I pull out my phone; need to check my messages.

 Still nothing ….

 I texted Ronnie to make sure he was alright, but haven’t heard a peep back from him. I … I know he’s probably just busy with his Grandma, but I hope he’s okay. Poor lad was pretty shaken up.

 I really should have given him a heads-up ….

\-------------------

***2.15pm***

 She’s been in there for a while …. “Emily, yer alright?”

 “I … I’m coming.”

 “No, it’s alright, don’t rush -.”

 The door pops open, Emily shuffling – “Ock, don’t yer look pretty, Lass.” Still so pale and gaunt, but she looks so much better with all the grime washed off of her.

 “P-pretty?”

 “Aye.”

 “Pretty ….” She smiles up at me, a wee genuine smile that warms my heart. We need to get her to do that more often.

 “Do yer feel better?”

 “Yeah.” She pulls at her jumper, a red one that doesn’t really go with bright yellow leggings, but those are what caught her eye. “These clothes are n-nice.”

 “Aye, they really suit yer.” And they’re a pretty good fit. The jumper is a bit baggy, but I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. I hold out a hand to her. “Let’s get that hair dried off.”

 “Okay.”

\--------------

***5.05pm***

 Ock, finally, a text. _Hey, sorry, I was …._ I click on the notification, bringing up the full message. _Hey, sorry, I was stuck with Grandma. Yeah, I’m alright._

 Aye … I’m not so convinced. Pressing reply, I – footsteps are coming down the stairs. Glancing up, I see Al stepping through the door, giving me a drawn-out death-glare. “This is a strange one-o’clock,” he murmurs.

 I turn back to my phone. “Yer needed tae rest.”

 With a sigh, he sinks down next to me on the sofa. “You’re probably right.”

 “Aye. Yer feeling better?”

 “Much, thank you. Emily?” She turns around on the floor. “Oh, you look nice.”

 Ock, there’s that sweet smile again. It’s absolutely adorable. “Th-thanks.”

 “Are you okay?”

 Another small smile, along with a nod.

 “Good. Do you … remember where your apartment is?”

 Oh, aye, she probably has some belongings there too. I’d forgotten about that.  

 “I … dunno.”

 “Okay … do -?”

 “It, it’s by a p-park.”

 “Ahh, it’s probably the one on Lewisham Street.” That’s the only apartment block for new recruits I know of that’s by any greenery.

 “Oh, you’re probably right.”

 “Aye.” I turn back to my phone. Though there’s a good chance Ronnie isn’t really alright, pressing the issue probably isn’t going to help.

_Alright, take care._

\-------------------

 “Does this look familiar?” Al asks, Emily’s hand in his as we stand in front of the complex.

 “Y-yeah.” Her spare hand rises, wee index finger pointing forward. “That’s where I was.”

 “The top floor?”

 “Yeah.”

 We head inside. God … this brings back memories. It’s just as dark and dim as the place they shoved me when I first came here. Why anyone would send a child to a place like this, I’ll never know. I cannae understand it.

 Al picks Emily up, because her leg is bothering her, holding her on his hip as we enter the lift. It creaks and shudders on the way up, metal screeching as it comes to a stop. The doors part slowly.  

 “It, it’s the end one,” Emily says, pointing down the hallway.

 “Okay.” As we reach the doorway, I see a tower of boxes piled against the wall, deliveries she hasn’t opened.

 Alan glances at them too, probably to check the name on the address, before he ports inside. Emily lost her key somewhere along the line. I follow, ending up in a small, bare apartment the size of a hotel room. There’s … there’s really nothing in here, apart from an unmade bed and a small heap of clothes.

 Al goes over to the wardrobe in the room, taking a look inside. There’s obviously nothing inside of it, because he shuts it again quickly. Same with the drawers.

 “Do you have anything in the kitchen cupboards?” Al asks, glancing towards the eating area.

 “No.”

 My stomach drops. I was expecting as much, but still … she must have in constant pain from the hunger ….

 “Okay. Then … we’ll grab this stuff and head back, okay?”

 Emily nods eagerly. “Okay.” Can’t say I blame her. I’d want out of this dump as soon as too.

\-------------------

***6.44pm***

 “Here yer go, Lass,” I smile, placing down a plate piled high with bangers and mash in front of her. It barely touches the surface before she’s scarfing it down – I doubt it’s even touching the sides. And that’s after eating a pile of chocolate just an hour ago, a present that the nurse from yesterday brought round.

 Her and the other nurses that had seen her around the hospital got together to buy her a hamper. It was a great surprise, it really was – nice to know someone else out there gave a damn about the poor kid. They … they probably felt just as sorry for her as we do.

 I turn back around, grabbing my own – ock, the door. Great timing there ….

 “I’ll go -.”

 “No, ah’ll answer it.” Al really needs to get some food in him, and Ronnie will kill me if he doesn’t finish off his Chinese.

 Grabbing my keys, I go to the door, opening – “Oh, hey, Lad.”

 “Hey.” Ronnie scratches at the back of his head, glancing at everything but my face.

 “Yer alright?”

 “Yeah … yeah, I’m fine. I … I’m sorry ‘bout earlier.”

 “Ock, there’s no need tae apologise.” Reaching out, I pat his shoulder, finally getting proper eye contact from him. “As long as yer’re alright.”

 “Thanks.” His lips turn up a little.

 “Yer are alright, aren’t yer?”

 “Y-yeah, yeah, jus’ had a moment, y’ know?”

 “Aye … aye, that’s completely understandable.”

 “Yeah …. Oh, I found a few more bits for Emily. Do tha clothes fit alright?”

 “Like a glove. Yer want tae say hello?”

 The smile falters. “Um … yeah, sure.”

 “There’s no pressure.”

 “Na … na, it’s cool. I’ll come in.” He slips past me. “Is she doin’ alright?”

 “Aye,” I click the door shut, locking it again, “she seems tae be settling in okay.”

 “Awesome.”

 “Aye.” I head for the kitchen, Ronnie following a wee way back behind me. As I walk through the doorway, Emily looks up at me … then behind me. She leans away a little, but doesn’t scraper like I feared she might. Maybe because she got a glimpse of him earlier. “Wh-who …?”

 “Emily, this is our friend, Ronnie.”

 “Hey,” Ronnie says more cheerfully than he’s probably feeling.

 “Hello.” Emily stays staring at him, not moving, barely blinking, like she’s waiting for his next move.

 “Yer want some dinner?” I ask, heading back over to the plate I already made up for myself.

 “Na, I’ve jus’ eaten.”

 “Yer sure? We have plenty.” Mainly to keep the servings coming for Emily, but I doubt even she’ll be able to put this amount away.

 He glances at Emily and then back at me. “Alright, jus’ a bit. Thanks.” Ahh … probably to put Emily a bit more at ease. And it seems to work, Emily taking it as cue to tuck in again.

 Grabbing another plate, I slap on a bit of mash potato and a few sausages. “Here yer go.”

 “Ohh, looks delish. Thanks.”

\-------------------

***10.37pm***

 “Yer comfy there, Lass?” Doesn’t look all that comfortable, squished up in the corner of the sofa, but she seems like she’s about to doze off.

 “Yeah ….”

 “Alright.” Picking up the remote, I turn the volume down on the TV. Not too low though, or I’ll be dozing off myself.

\-----------

***Monday 24th January***

***1.05am***

 “You should go up,” Al says, pulling his cheek away from my shoulder. “It’s getting really late.”

 “Nah, yer go. Ah’ll be alright.”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Aye,” I smile, patting his thigh gently, “ah’ll be fine sleeping down here.”

 “But you slept down here last night too.”

 “Aye, ah know, but ah don’t mind. Yer get some rest.

 Ahh, he’s got his thinking face on. “No … I’ll stay down here too.”

 My shoulders hitch up in a wee shrug. “Alright, suit yerself. Blankets?”

 He laughs quietly. “I’ll get the blankets.”

\--------------

***1.39am***

 “Al … keep still, would yer?” He’s been fidgeting … fidgeting … fidgeting ….

 “Sorry ….” He turns again. “I can’t sleep.”

 “Yer feeling sick again?”

 “No … no, it’s not that ….”

 “Then what is it?”

 With a sigh, he leans into me. “I … I can’t stop thinking about … Grell.”

 My heart skips – ock, just hearing her name …. My stomach starts to twist. “Gr-Grell?”

 “Mmm. The attack – she, she must have been in so much pain.”

 Pain – flashes of her, broken and bloody – pain ….

 His legs swing up, knees pressing into his chest. “Even the Thorns – I … I’ve never felt pain like it.”

 “A-aye, aye ….”

 “Oh, Eric, I, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean -.”

 “No … no, it’s fine.”

 “No … I’ve upset you. I shouldn’t -.”

 “No, Al, don’t – yer can tell me anything. Aye, it’s upsetting, but it’s upsetting yer too.” I grip onto him, squeezing him tight. “If there’s something bothering yer, ah’d rather know.”

 “Okay.” Twisting, he buries his nose in my shirt. “I … miss her.”

 “So do ah ….” I can feel her absence now more than ever. She’d have been a great help with Emily ….

\---------------

***8.21am***

 “No! I don’t wanna!” Emily’s really upset, on the verge of a tantrum. She really doesn’t want to go to the academy.

 “I know,” Al bends down in front of her, “but you have to.”

 “No!”

 “Yes. You -.”

 “Fuck off!” I’m taken aback for a sec – a … a wee lass shouldn’t know a word like that …. Her mom –

 “Em-Emily, don’t swear at me.”

 She just starts screaming louder –

 “Lass, Lass, stop. We -.”

 “I’m not going!” She tries to run off, but Al catches her, picking her up as he stands. A shriek, a scream, legs and arms swinging –

 “Emily, stop it, stop it,” Al says calmly, softly, “don’t hit me. It’s not nice to hit others. Listen, Emily, listen to me. We don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, but we can’t do anything. If you don’t go, we’ll all get in trouble.”

 “N-noo,” she wails, face falling onto Al’s shoulder. Poor Lass ….

 “It’s okay.” Al bounces her lightly. “It’ll be okay.”

 “Aye, the academy is a lot safer than being out on reaps.”

 Emily snivels, wee hand curling in Al’s shirt. “I, I d-don’t like it.”

 “Why not?” Al rubs at her back lightly. “Because it’s boring?”

 “B-because I’m t-too st-stupid.”

 “Ock, no, yer’re not.”

 “A-am. I d-don’t un-understand anything.”

 “You don’t understand the lessons?” Al asks.

 “Y-yeah.”

 “Aww, Emily, it’s not because you’re stupid.”

 “A-am. The … the teacher s-said I was.”

 Al locks eyes with me, frowning. “They did?”

 “Y-yeah. They, they k-kept shouting at me.”

 Bastards – why would they – she’s just a wee baby …. “Yer ignore them, Emily.”

 “And if they do that again, tell us. They shouldn’t be being so mean.”

 “St-stupid.”

 “No, no, you’re not. These lessons, they’re meant for adults. They’re really hard.”

 “Aye, ah found them confusing too.”

 “Yeah. It’s because they’re hard, not because you’re stupid. You’re not stupid at all.”

 “Y-you r-really th-think so?”

 “Yep. And if something confuses you, or you don’t understand anything, you can come to us. We’ll try to help you understand, okay?”

 “O … okay.”

 “Alright.” I shift a little closer. “Yer think yer can be a brave lass now and go?”

 Ock … that wasn’t a happy look. “O-okay … I … I’ll try ….”

 “Ock, good lass.”

 “Let’s find you out a clean uniform, okay?”

 “Okay ….”


	40. William. East End Angel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overlaps slightly with previous chapter.

***Sunday 23rd January***

***9.33pm***

 “I think that will do for tonight.” Having reached the end of the chapter, I close the book.

 “Nooo.” Carmen folds her arms over her chest, pouting at me. “One more.”

 “No, Carmen, it is getting late.”

 “But -.”

 “You don’t want to be tired for lessons tomorrow, do you?”

 “No ….” Her eyes light up. “Can we read more when you come home?”

 “Of course we can.”

 “Okay!” She leans up, arms wrapping around my neck. “Goodnight, Daddy.” I receive a soft peck on the cheek, return the gesture.

 “Goodnight, Carmen.” I tuck her into bed, leaving the nightlight on for her. Carefully, I shut the door, irritated as it lets out a grating creak. I really must get around to oiling the hinges … most of the door hinges in this house. It is an old house, after all.

 Quietly, I cross the landing, heading into the main bedroom. There is no movement, Ronald hidden under the duvet. “Ronald?”

 A mass of blonde hair appears from under the sheets, Ronald peeking out at me. “Yeah?”

 “Sorry, did I wake you?”

 “Na.”

 The response is short, sharp for him. I suppose it is no great surprise. He came home earlier, looking like he was about to vomit, has been a little off ever since.

 I reach the bed with swift strides, slipping under the covers. “Are you alright?”

 “Yeah.”

 “You’re not.”

 With a sigh, he flops against me, arms hugging around my chest. “No … I am. I really am.”

 “You -.”

 “J-jus’ a bit shaken up, I guess.” He shifts again, pressing against my collarbone. “But I’ll be alright.”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Yeah. It’s jus’ put me in a bad headspace, y’ know?”

 “Yes, I can understand that.”

 “But it’s nothin’ a good night’s sleep can’t fix.”

 “I -.”

 “She … she’s a real sweet girl, Will. I hope she’s gonna be okay.”

 “I am sure she will be. She has Eric and Alan to look out for her.”

 “Yeah … yeah, you’re right.”

\-----------------

***Monday 24th January***

***3.31am***

 “Will … y’ awake?”

 “Yes.”

 “I didn’t wake y’ up, did I?”

 “No, no … I think I need a drink.” I slip on my glasses, glance over at the clock. Oh. “Have you been awake all this time?”

 “Yeah … can’t sleep.”

 “Ronald,” rolling over, I slip an arm over around him, “she is going to be alright.”

 “I … I know. Mind … mind’s jus’ racin’ a bit at tha minute.”

 “Is there anything I can do to help?”

 He glances away. “I, I’ll be fine.”

 It is obvious there is something he needs. “Tell me. Whatever you need.”

 “N-na, I don’t wanna keep y’ up.”

 “You don’t have to worry about that. I wish to help.”

 “O-okay. Can we watch some TV?”

 I offer him a smile. “Of course we can.”

\----------------

 My fingers comb through the hair at the back of Ronald’s head as he rests against my shoulder, eyes opening and closing in a slow blinking. He is about to doze off, attention completely lost on the movie playing.

 Leaning into me further, he lifts his feet onto the couch. “Will ….” His voice is quiet, flat. “I’m … sorry ‘bout this.”

 “Ronald -.”

 “I shouldn’t be lettin’ it ge’ ta me like this.”

 “You cannot help it, Ronald. It isn’t your fault.”

 “It is. I -.”

 “No, it isn’t. I am sure you don’t want to feel this way.”

 “No … I don’t, b-but I … I’m still sorry.”

 “Don’t be.” He can hardly help external triggers. “But try not to dwell on it. As you said, Emily will be alright.” But that isn’t the only issue – I am quite aware of that. “And those … things, they are in the past now. Whatever Emily may have been through, you are safe -.”

 “It … it’s not tha’, Will. It, it freaked me out, y-yeah, but I’m not scared. I … I think I’m jus’ sad.”

 “Sad?”

 “Yeah. Think … thinkin’ ‘bout Emily made me think – it, it’s put me in a bad headspace. And it’s annoyin’ because it’s not ‘bout me – I shouldn’t be this knocked ‘bout.”

 “No … but seeing yourself in her – it is going to have an effect.”

 “Y-yeah.” He sighs deeply. “Yeah, y’re right.”

 I kiss him atop the head. “It will be alright.”

 “Yeah … I know.” His lips touch my jawline in a lax kiss. “Thanks for listenin’, babe. I … I do feel a bit better.”

 “It is quite alright.”

 “Mmm.” He begins to relax against me, breath on the surface of my skin tapering off into slow, gentle gusting.

 Turning off the Television, I lean my cheek against him. I am sure he will feel better by morning.

\-------------

***7.35am***

 “Will, wake up, babe.”

 “Yes … yes, I am awake.” I reach – oh, yes … my glasses are still on my face. Opening my eyes, I am met with a wide, glowing smile. “You’re feeling better?”

 “Yeah, way better, thanks.” He leans in, pecking me lightly on the cheek. “Think I jus’ needed ta switch off for a bit, y’ know?”

 “Yes, yes … that is understandable. I am – what is that smell?”

 “Ah, I made breakfast.”

 “Oh, you didn’t have to do that.”

 “Ehh, I kinda did,” he chuckles, “I kept y’ up half tha night.”

 “You still didn’t have to.” I smile. “But thank you.”

 “Mommy!” Carmen’s voice sounds shrilly from the kitchen.

 Ronald turns towards the doorway. “Yeah?”

 “There’s no milk!”

 Oh … drat, I knew there was something I had forgotten to do yesterday. “We’re out.”

 A short laugh comes from Ronald. “Great ….” He heads towards the doorway. “We ‘aven’t got any. Jus’ ‘ave some orange juice.”

 “Okay! Mommy, no orange juice!”

 … Dammit ….

\------------

***8.56am***

 I ended up making a mad dash to the store, hair unkempt and clothes thrown on, to retrieve a carton of milk as Carmen didn’t seem too pleased with me. Honestly, I fear what the store clerk thought of me, dishevelled and frantic. A madman, surely.

 Ronald appears back in the kitchen, having just dropped Carmen off at her Grandmother’s. Not due into work until ten, he will probably spend the free time lounging in front of the Television. I swallow down the last dregs of coffee from my cup before standing, depositing it in the bowl in the sink.

 As I pull up the lever on the tap, Ronald speaks. “Leave tha’, babe. I’ll wash it before I head off.”

 “No, it is fine, it will only -.”

 “Na, leave it. I’ll probs ‘ave somethin’ else ta eat before I go ta work.”

 “More food?” My hand hovers above the tap before I turn the water off. “You’ve only just eaten.” Grabbing the tea-towel from the rail of the oven, I rub it against my hands, fingers slightly damp from touching the cup in the sink. “Such a gannet.”

 “Heh, not my fault tha toast didn’t fill me up.”

 “Your fault that you passed up on the fruit bowl.” I look at him, shooting him a feigned look of judgment.

 He pulls an expression of disgust. “An orange isn’t gonna cut it. Bleugh.”

 “You are such a child,” I chuckle. Oh, I should probably – I check my watch, seeing that I indeed only have a few minutes before the start of my shift. “I should get going.”

 “Alright.” Closing the gap between us, he leans in, giving me a soft peck on the cheek. “‘Ave a nice day, babe.”

 “Yes, you too. Stay safe.”

 “I will.”

\------------------

***1.05pm***

 My shift has been slow so far … thankfully. Though boring, I am glad for the break, the quiet and recently lacking peace. No attacks … barely any sightings of demons. It has been bliss.

 Yet … with my lunch break almost over, I am not going to hold out any hope that the afternoon will be more of the same.

 I head back into the office building from a café close to the ease side of the building, a small but popular institution built a little over a year ago. If I am not mistaken, it is owned by the human wife of a reaper high up in administration. At the very least, the staff are all human. Times are really changing, rules relaxing – it is a strange thing.

 I grip the second cup of coffee I bought before leaving, mainly for warmth, close to my chest as I enter through the front of the building. As I near the lift, I see a group of reapers chatting in hushed tones – “Kennedy.”

 The youthful man flinches at my voice – highly amusing. He knows he has been caught in the wrong. “S-sir?”

 “You were due to start your shift five minutes ago, were you not?”

 “Y-yes. Sorry, Sir, I, I’ll head to my office right away.”

 I give him a curt nod, staring after him as he rushes to the lift to the right of me. The other members of the gaggle disperse, revealing the newspaper stand they were standing in front of … a stand with various newspapers … from the human world?

 Though it is not unheard of for us to bulk buy newspapers from the human world alongside writing our own, it does not happen unless … unless there has been a shocking or major development.

 With everything that is happening, I haven’t bought a newspaper, let alone read one, in over a week.

 I hear a curse word, loud but distant, glance up. Newspapers are gripped in every hand, reapers on their dinner-breaks crowded – what … what have I missed?

 Thoughts of demons – I snatch a paper up, and within an instant, my blood runs cold.

 A bridge, police cars and diving teams, and a name … a name I recognise instantly. Emily Hannagan.

 The headline … it tells me everything I need to know.

**‘Hunt for Our East End Angel Ends in Tragedy.’**


	41. Eric. Reports.

***Monday 24th January***

***9.42am***

 I drop the keys onto the kitchen counter as we head into the room, Al walking over to the fridge. After seeing Emily off at the academy doors, we headed to the supermarket – needed to stock up on sweets and other kiddy food.

 Al places a couple of items in the fridge before dropping the shopping bag onto the table. His hand dips – “Eric,” he giggles, wriggling against me as he feels my lips touch his neck, my hands closing around his waist. “Really? Now?”

 “Aye.” My fingers glide under his shirt, over soft skin. “Nearly losing yer has really put me in the mood.”

 A snort comes from him. “You’re terrible, Eric,” he says but it’s not stopping him from pushing his arse back against me. He’s being a right tease, and he knows it.

 Hhh, such a turn on ….

 “Terrible, aye?” My hips rock up against him.

 “Hmm.” He slips out of my grip, twisting around to face me. Leaning in, he whispers “terrible,” lips meeting mine.

 Terrible …. Heh, he’s not so innocent himself.

\--------------

 “Hmm.” Al sighs as I trail kisses down his upper arm. “I really don’t want to go to work now.”

 “Yer wanted tae go in the first place?” I tease.

 “Yes,” he laughs softly, “I’m not lazy like you.”

 “Oi.”

 “Don’t try to deny it.” He flashes a coy smile, tilting his head down to kiss me.

 “Aye ….”

 “Mmm.” Shifting on the table, he rests his cheek on my shoulder. “Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “Are you … going to look at Emily’s records?”

 Ock … this. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t keep crossing my mind. “Ah … ah’m not sure, Al. Ah think we should, but ah … ah don’t really want tae know what she’s been through.”

 “I … I know. It’s not going to be … pleasant.”

 “But yer want tae?”

 “We have to. We … we have to know happened to her … or we won’t be able to help her.”

 “Aye ….”

 “W-we don’t have to right now,” he sits up, “but … but we need to at some point.”

 “Aye … ah know. Ah’ll sort it out.” But not today. No one needs the stress of watching that shite today.

 I just want us all to settle down, relax ….

\----------------

***11.07am***

 Sighing, I sit back in my chair, throwing my pen down. I’ve only been here an hour, but home’s calling to me already. I was expecting to be out on reaps by now, but no … it’s going to be nothing but paperwork today.

 At least Al will be here at one o’clock. Hopefully, he’ll be on a stint of paperwork too and I can sneak into his office for a wee bit of company. God knows I need something to get me through this shite ….

 The pen is snatched up again with another sigh. I bet William’s done this on purpose, to keep me out of trouble ….

 Thanks a –

 There’s a knock on the door, a frantic –

 “Aye, come in?”

 William bursts through – “everything alright?” He looks worked up – “what’s the matter?”

 “I, I don’t – you, you have to see this.” He pulls something –

 A newspaper? “What-?”

 “It is about Emily.”

 Emily? I snatch it out of his hand – “Ock … God ….”

 “Y-yes, I … I cannot quite believe what I have just read.”

 I don’t reply – I … I cannae … find words ….  

_Remains found in the Thames Thursday have been positively identified as Emily Hannagan. The six-year-old –_

 What? Six? That, that cannae be right. There’s no way she’s six ….

 She’s too wee … tiny ….

 Because she was starved. Ock, she’s been starved so badly that she didn’t grow ….

_The six-year-old was reported as missing by her thirteen-year-old brother –_

 Brother? I, I cannae – she had a brother, someone who cared, and she still – what the …?

 Emily, what … what have you been through, Lass …?

_The six-year-old was reported as missing by her thirteen-year-old brother after being thrown out of her home during an argument on Sunday night._

 Kick – kicked out?! You’ve got to be – what sort of sick fuck leaves a helpless child out on the street? I, I cannae ….

_In an outpouring of community support, hundreds of volunteers, touched by her story, searched the streets in a desperate bid to find her, dubbing her their ‘East End Angel’._

_On Tuesday morning, a member of the public reported a sighting of Emily along the side of the Thames River. She was then spotted on CCTV, sparking police to dispatch diving teams to the area. A body of a child was found twenty hours into the search._

_Police have opened an investigation, though a spokesman for the Metropolitan police has stated they are not considering foul play at this time._

_Her mother has been taken into custody._

 “Shite ….”

 “There … is more on page seven.”

 My gut twists in a knot. I … I don’t … I don’t want to know. But I … I have to know. I need to get on with it ….

 “Al-alright ….” I turn to the page – Ock … I feel sick …. There’s a photograph of a room, cluttered and filthy, with the headline _‘abuse and neglect at home of our East End Angel.’_

 She … she had to live in that?

_Shocking pictures taken at the home of Emily Hannagan reveal horrific conditions the six-year-old was kept in._

 Horrific … horrific doesn’t even begin to ….

_The first pictures have been released of the home Emily Hannagan lived in before she was found deceased in the Thames River on Thursday. The tiny flat in Islington, described by a police officer as the worst he had ever seen, was riddled with dirt, urine, and swarming with insects. Littered with dirty plates, soiled clothing and rubbish, the smell was ‘atrocious’. In the children’s bedroom, the clutter was so bad that the carpet was barely visible._

_Cider bottles littered the floor throughout the entire flat, but the cupboards were devoid of food._

 That … that poor Lass. Every day must have been – how … how could anyone do that to children? Sick bastards ….

_In a statement, police said: “it was neither a safe nor suitable environment for children.”_

 Ock, really? You think? I never would have guessed.

_The discovery was made after Emily’s older brother informed police of her disappearance. Allegations of abuse have also been presented. The mother has been taken into custody on charges of neglect, while investigations are ongoing._

_The Metropolitan police is urging anyone with information on Emily Hannagan to come forward._

 I … I cannae …. “P-poor Lass ….”

 “Yes … it seems she has been through a lot.”

 “Aye ….”

 She … she jumped into the Thames.

 The poor lass jumped ….

 “Are you alright?”

 “A-aye, aye. Ah just – ah, ah need tae tell Al.”

 “Yes … alright.”

\-----------------

 I rush upstairs, in the direction of the vacuum cleaner, clutching the newspaper in my fist. He’s in the master bedroom. “Al,” I call over the noise of the hoover. “Al!”

 I watch him flinch, the hoover winding down to a stop. He turns – “Eric?” He hurries over to me, frowning. “What are you – what’s wrong?”

 “Ah, ah need tae show yer something.” I push the newspaper on him.

 His hand curls around it. “A news -?”

 “It’s about Emily.”

\-------------------

 Al’s hand flies up to his mouth, the colour draining out of his face. “Yer alright?” I touch his back, rubbing it gently.

 “Th-this is disgusting, Eric. How c-could anyone treat children like this?”

 “Ah don’t know, Al. Ah cannae understand it.”

 His hand slips. “We … we need to watch her records. We have to know what, what ….”

 “Aye … we do ….”

 He rushes to the wall, pulling the vacuum plug from the socket. My eyes follow him as he darts from the room before I follow him. He’s dead set on going straight to the records room.

 I … I can’t put it off any longer ….


	42. Eric. It's just so sad.

 We dip into the records room, getting a curious look from the archiver. It’s not a rare thing for reapers to come in here, I bet … but we probably look in a right state ….

 “Do you need any -?”

 “We’re fine.”

 “Oh, okay.”

 “But thank you,” Al says – aye … ah, ah probably came across a bit sharp there ….

 “Aye, thanks ….”

 We turn the corner, putting a tall shelf of records between us and her. Ock … this place is massive, just like a grand, sprawling library. “Al … where do we start?”

 “I … I think – there should be computers around here somewhere.” Oh, aye, the digital files, obviously. I’m not thinking straight already …. He glances – “I … think they’re this way.”

 I follow him as he goes back on himself, turning another – there they are, a row of computers behind a glass wall.

 Al’s hand slips into mine, squeezing gently as he guides me along.

 We’re inside of the room, sitting down at a computer, already ….

 I’m not ready for this ….

 Al’s hand reaches for – ock … he’s shaking. Aye … I can feel it against my skin. “Al -.”

 “I’m fine.” With a deep sigh, he leans forward, hand curling around the mouse. With a click, the screen comes to life … a search bar at the top of the screen. I glance to the left, at the recent – why’s Emily’s name in the recent searches?

 It, it shouldn’t be a surprise – her name’s all over the papers, so people are going to want to know.

 Doesn’t make it any easier to swallow – it’s none of their damn business. They didn’t want to know when she was being set upon by demons. They’re not the ones trying to help her – my blood’s starting to boil. Nosey fucking bastards.

 “Hm.” Al makes a noise, a sound he makes when he’s unimpressed. He’s noticed the side-bar too. The triangle of the mouse glides slowly across the screen, over to her name. It lights up blue, before I hear the mouse click.     

 Here … here we go ….

 A webpage loads – there’s one file, only one … and it’s huge. That … that’s her record. It … it has to be.

 “Eric … are you ready?”

 I swallow down the lump I didn’t know I had. “A-aye.”

 He whispers an “okay,” squeezing my hand tightly. 

 Light flashes in front of my eyes, loud noises – a baby’s crying, wee fists waving in the air. Ock … aww …. She was such an adorable, beautiful baby. Even crying, she’s so cute. The door opens, a young lad – he looks so frail, poorly ….

 That’s the older brother, I’m guessing ….

 “Emily, Emily, shush. Shut – ya’ve gotta be quiet.” Hands dip – she’s being lifted up, held against him … like she’s precious. You … you can just see the love there. “What’s the matter? Ya’ve been fucking cranky all day. Ya’ve -.”

 There’s crashing … glass shattering. The door bangs against the wall, and there’s screaming, hysterical screeching, a blonde woman stomping through the door. “Shut the fuck up, ya little cunts!”

 She’s completely off her head, completely – Emily starts crying harder, frightened by the shouting. The lad darts past her –

 A hand grabs the hair at the back of his head – they’re flung to the floor. “Ack!”

 “Don’t fucking run from me!”

 “Fuck off!” The kid’s half screaming, half crying; the room’s so loud, filled with screaming and shouting and Emily screeching –

 A … a leg swings, foot connecting – I turn away. Ah … ah don’t want to see this shite, this bitch beating up her children. But I … I can still hear it, the groans and cries of pain. A squeal – Emily, she’s been pulled out his grip, thrown to – leave her alone!

 A, a foot slams down, right on her hip – the … the scream, it, it goes right through me. It’s so loud, so full of pain –

 Silence – Al’s paused it ….

 I turn to look at him – there’s tears in his eyes …. “Al -?”

 “I, I can’t – how could anyone do that?!”

 “Ah … ah don’t ….”

 I don’t … have words.

 When … when Emily said her mommy hurt her hip, she wasn’t lying ….

\-------------

***1.32pm***

 We … we’ve managed to get through the first four years of her life … with breaks … and more breaks. I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting here, and Al was probably due into work an hour ago … but I don’t care. I doubt he does either ….

 We don’t want to see any more, but at this point, I don’t think I can look away, even though it just keeps getting worse.

 These kids are hungry all the time, all three of them. She’s the youngest, and then there’s a brother who looks a few years older than her … and then the eldest brother.

 They’re all struggling, bruised and battered – this bitch beats them over every wee thing ….

 You cannae call this thing a mother.

 Huh – I snap out of my thoughts when Al clings onto my shirt, tugging at the fabric.

 “R-ready?”

 “Aye … aye.”

 With another click, we’re plunged into darkness – “L-Lance?” Emily’s skinny form passes by in the dimness, in what looks like the living room.

 The eldest brother looks up – it looks like he’s crotched on the sofa, arms wrapped around his knees. It cannae be easy to sleep with the hunger pains …. “What?”

 “C-cold.”

 I see a twitch of a smile. Through all of this shite, he’s never stopped caring, for Emily or Jamie. “Alright.” Slowly, he stretches out – ock, he’s in pain …. “Get up here.”

 With a smile, she clambers up onto him, snuggling up to him. A lanky arm drapes around her. “Warmer?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Get some sleep, alright.”

 “Okay.”

 My stomach twists as we go to the next memory. It was a sweet moment, but knowing – I cannae imagine how crushed this poor lad must be. He … he’s got to be devastated.

 And … she wasn’t happy by any means, but she was coping. What happened? Did it all just get too much for her? What changed …?

 As the records go on, I start to see it, a change. She’s fighting with Jamie a lot, getting picked on by him for every wee thing – horrible, brutal scraps that leave her bruised and crying. Because they’re hungry … because violence is normal to them.

 Every day, she’s getting bullied at school, because she looks scruffy and dirty, because she’s too tiny to fight back. She’s five now, but she’s barely grown since she was three.

 And as the lessons get harder, she can’t keep up, can’t concentrate. The poor lass, she’s really struggling ….

 The teachers are always shooting her worried looks but what are they doing? Of course she’s going to lie when you ask her if she’s okay. It’s not hard to see what’s going – they can see how much she’s suffering, but they’re – why aren’t they trying to help her?

 What about social services? Have they even spoken to them? I don’t understand it … but I’m disgusted.

 It carries on, more of the same, more abuse into the sixth year – ock, is her mom pregnant? My heart sinks ….

 That … that explains it. A new baby; that’s going to make things harder for Lance, for everyone ….

\---------------

 I close my eyes, sucking in air – Lance looks like death, almost grey, the rings under his eyes completely black. Forcing myself to look at the screen again, I gulp. He’s so thin – there’s really nothing to him now.

 “Get ya coat. We’re going out,” he mumbles, staring off – his eyes are so dull, dead. There’s no life left in him ….

 “Where?” Emily asks.

 “Maccies.” McDonalds? He’s been the one bringing food home recently, since the cupboards ran completely empty, but ah don’t – where is he getting the money from? Is he stealing -?

 “Hurry up,” he whispers. I … I can hear the panic in his voice. “Before she wakes up. Come on.”  

\--------------

 There’s crying again, coming from the bedroom, the same pained shrieking that Emily made as a baby. The poor babe is hungry.

 Emily tiptoes over to the door, tapping lightly. “L-Lance?”

 “What?” Ock … he sounds tired, pissy. Not a great surprise – the lad must be exhausted.

 Emily pushes the door open. “Lance, I, I’m really hungry.”

 He gives her a look, like that’s the last thing he wants to hear. “Ya – I keep telling ya I don’t have any money.”

 “B-but -.”

 “Ya’re gonna have to wait.” With a sigh, he bounces the baby – “Just wait a bit longer. I’ll nab something later.”

 Nab? He is stealing – he shouldn’t be – he’s not responsible, not their parents. He … he’s just a kid himself.

 Bright blue eyes turn to the floor. “O-okay.”

\-------------------

 “Ahhh!” Emily starts bawling as she crashes to the ground – Jamie’s smacked her around again. Scrambling to her feet, she runs awkwardly out of the room. “Lanceee!” The bathroom door is burst through –

 What …? He’s bent over the toilet – looks like he can barely stay upright.

 “Lance! Ja-Jamie -.”

 “N-not now.” Arm tightening around his gut, he scowls –

 “B-but -.”

 “Not now!”

 She shrinks away from him, starting to shake like a leaf. “L-Lance -.”

 “Fuck off, would ya?! Ya’re pissing me off!” He curls into himself, hissing “fucking whining all the time.”

 Ock, the look she gives him, a wide-eyed, pained – his words have crushed her. Wailing, she darts out of the –

 “Shut the fuck up!” A hand yanks her hair, her mom – leave her alone! Cannae you see she’s already upset? Maybe if you acted like real mom and gave her some comfort, she’d quieten down.

 Emily goes into full tantrum mode – I … I don’t want to see this. She normally runs, scarpers and tries to hide quietly when her mom … but she’s too upset. She’s not thinking ….

 Arms and legs kick out, screams and shrieks – “fuck off! Fuck off! I hate you! I fucking hate you!”

 “Ya fucking bitch! The fuck do ya think ya are?!” She’s slammed down – a shiver runs down – there was a crack. Something cracked ….

 She screams out in pain, but her mom doesn’t stop, slamming her again – why, why won’t you just leave her alone? She’s defenceless and you –

**Slam!**

 “Stop it ….”

**Slam!**

 “Stop!”

 Al grips my hand tightly, bringing me back – aye … aye, shouting isn’t going to change a thing now. There’s nothing I can do ….

 So … so I just watch as she’s dragged across the floor by her hair, into the hallway.

 Wait.

 No … no ….

 “Ya selfish bitch! Spoilt fucking brat.” The door is yanked – a shiver runs down my spine. It, it cannae be. Not yet.

 It … it is …. She’s tossed out into the corridor of the flat. “Fuck off! Don’t bother coming back!” The door slams behind her, leaving her … to cry in a heap on the floor ….

\---------------

 I’m angry … no, I’m fucking fuming, seeing this shite play out in front of me. She passed people in the hallway, drunken teenagers and an arguing couple … and not one of those fuckers stopped to look at her, this wee baby with no shoes and tears running down her face.

 She’s been wandering around for hours now, in the freezing cold with barely any clothing … expressionless, only reacting, wincing, when her dirty, bare feet tread on something sharp. All … all the fight’s gone out of her.

 It’s so sad. It’s just so sad ….

 And aye, it’s quiet at three o’clock in the morning, but it’s still London. The odd car is passing, catching her in their headlights, but … but no one is stopping to help her. And … no one is going to ….

 Maybe they’re not noticing her, maybe they think they’re seeing things, but … but not everyone. Some have noticed … but just don’t care, can’t find the time for her.

 Heartless bastards.

 Ock … no … she’s at the river … already. It’s dark here … a quieter spot away from the road with no streetlamps. Even if someone bothered to care, they’re not going to see her now. Not from this side of the river, anyway. She … she was doomed the minute she crossed behind the buildings.

 Tiny hands curl around the railings, forehead resting against the metal. A wee squeak slips out, so … so helpless and fragile sounding that I – it, it’s breaking my heart.   

 Her thin frame slips through a gap in the railings where the bars are bent, drawing near the water slowly. Shivering, she wraps her arms around herself, staring off into the dark ahead. Broken … the poor lass looks absolutely broken ….

 She just stands there, unmoving, watery eyes barely blinking … like she’s lost in thought … or too beaten down to think ….

 Empty … that’s an empty stare ….

 There’s nothing but the odd sniff and the blowing of her hair in the wind … for minutes, for ten minutes ….

 The waiting – I, I cannae take it.

 Her foot moves, then the other, tentative steps closer to the water ….

 “Lass ….” This is … it’s breaking my heart … the muscle pounding in my chest. This is … this is it.

 Leaning forward, she peers over the edge, into the gushing water. There’s an audible gulp, arms tightening around herself as her eyes fill – she … she’s so scared ….

 Shaking, crying, the tears drip down her wee face.

 Her eyes close, body falling –

 She’s tumbling, crashing, the freezing water surrounding her – it all fades to black.

 She … she’s gone ….

 “Sh-shite ….” My fist slams down – “Shite!”

 My muffled name – I turn to face Al for the first time – he’s crying … hand covering his mouth as his shoulders hitch – “Al ….” My arm slinks around his back, pulling him into a hug.

 “H-horrible.”

 “Ah know. But … but at least she’s in a better position now.” It … it’s not a great consolation … but I’m at a loss of what to say. Shocked I can speak at all. I … I’m shaking too, I’m so fucking angry.

 “R-right.” He nods, short wee nods, like he’s trying to convince himself. “We, we can help her.”

 “Aye,” I force a smile, “we can. We’ll make sure she has a good life.”

 “Y-yes.” He leans into –

 What was – the door pops open, the lass from earlier coming in … with a tray. “I have coffee or tea.”

 “Ock … thank yer. Yer didn’t have tae.”

 She offers a wee, soft smile. “You looked upset.” She places down the tray. “Everyone’s been coming in today and getting upset.”

 Aye … because they’re nosey fucking bastards …. They deserve all of that upset. “Aye.” Reaching over, I grab the coffee pot. “Yer don’t have any rum ah can put in this, do yer?”

 She laughs, putting one finger up to her mouth in a shushing motion. “That’s my secret stash.”

 “Boring job, is it?”

 “You have no idea.”

\-----------------------

***2.41pm***

 We leave the records hall … in a weird frame of mind. Well … I cannae speak for Al, but ….

 Joking with the archivist turned my boiling anger down to a simmer … but now I feel … a wee bit empty.

 Turning to Al, I catch him wiping at his cheek. “Yer going tae be alright?”

 “I … I think so.”

 “Well, don’t go out on collections if -.”

 “I, I’m not. I’m going to ask William to switch me.”

 Oh. Good. Good. “Good.”

 “Yeah …. I’ll try to meet you later, to pick Emily up.”

 “No, ah’ll stay with yer in yerr office.” We could probably both do with the company.

 With a slow nod, he smiles up at me. “Sounds like a plan.”

\------------------

***4.34pm***

 As soon as Emily totters out of the front doors of the academy, Al scoops her up, hugging her tightly. “Hello, sweetie.” She looks surprised, her eyes going a little wide. But then she smiles, wrapping her legs around his waist, letting him rest her on his hip.

 “Did today go okay?”

 “Yeahh. I, I had a different teacher. They were nicer.”

 “Ock, that’s great,” I smile. Honestly, after today, any good news makes me want to jump for joy.

 “It is. Did you understand the lessons?”

 “Not … not much.”

 “Aww, okay. Well, what were the tricky parts?”

 She shakes her head, slumping onto Al’s shoulder.

 “Oh, are you tired?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Okay,” his voice drops down to a soft breath, “we’ll talk about it later.”

\---------------

***6.07pm***

 “Ock, Emily, no, no, Lass, don’t cry.” She woke up from her nap to find that Al had gone back to work after his dinner break … and flew off into a tantrum. I … I’m not sure what to do. “Emily, it’s alright. Stop – don’t kick me. That isn’t nice, Lass.” I … I cannae even get near her.

 No … I’ve seen this on her records, when she used to get really upset. I just need to copy Lance.

 Quickly, I grab a blanket, throwing it onto the sofa. Scooping her – “Ack!” Ock … that kick to the gut came sharp …. She doesn’t realise her own strength now that she’s a reaper. “It’s alright. He’ll be back soon.”

 “Nooo! Now!” She shrieks again as I sink down onto the sofa, pulling her onto my lap. Before she can fight free, I wrap the blanket around her, holding her tightly to my chest.

 “Soon, ah promise.”

 Ock, I think it’s working. Aye, aye, the struggling is slowly down. She’s starting to settle. Her screams turn into wee cries, and then she’s snuggling down in the blanket, clinging onto my shirt.

 I don’t know why it’s working so well. Maybe because of the warmth and the comfort. Maybe because it’s familiar ….

 Rubbing her back through the blanket, I say “we can watch some cartoons while we wait for him, aye?”

 “O … okay,” she sniffs.

 “Yer alright now?”

 “Y … yeah. Sorry ….”

 “It’s alright, Emily. Ah get cranky when Al’s not around here too,” I laugh.

 “Okay …. Stay?”

 “Aye, yer can stay right here. Just let me get the remote, alright?”

 “Okay ….”

\-----------------

***7.46pm***

 “Emily?” She glances up from Al’s shoulder as he says her name. She’s been in a pretty good mood since her tantrum. Bit of a quiet night, really.

 “Yeah?”

 “I need to ask you something.”

 My stomach drops – I … I don’t like that tone of voice.

 “What?”

 “Do you remember what happened before you came here?”

 Her brow furrows. “Your house?”

 “No … before then.”

 “Oh ….” She glances away. “The water … was scary.”

 Ock, Lass ….

 His face drops. “Yeah … then. The river – why … did you jump in?”

 Tiny fingers pick at his dressing gown. “I … I dunno.”

 “You -?”

 “I, I wanted the b-bad things to go away.”

 Aye …. She just wanted things to stop for a minute. It, it was just a spur of the moment decision, because she was so upset … because she wasn’t thinking straight.

 She didn’t want to die.

 I doubt she really understood what was going to happen, how final it was going to be.

 How could she? She’s just a wee baby ….


	43. Eric. Tantrums.

***8.33pm***

 “I don’t wanna!” Emily starts whining.

 “You have to, sweetie,” Al replies. He’s trying to get her in the bath, but it’s not going down well at all ….

 “Nooo!”

 “You do. The people at the academy won’t be happy if you smell bad.”

 “But I don’t smell bad! I had a bath yesterday so I’m clean!”

 “No, you need to take one every day.”

 “B-but I’ve never -.”

 “I know, but you need to ….”

 Al doesn’t finish his sentence before she starts wailing –

 “Lass, don’t cry.”

 “Emily, come on,” Al lifts her onto his lap, “stop being silly. You don’t have to wash your hair, okay? You’ll be out in five minutes.”

 “Don’t wanna!” She tries to fight out of his grip.

 “Yer can watch yerr cartoons again as soon as yer’re done.”

 Ock, did that actually work? I think so …. The screaming dies down, turns into a bit of a grizzle. “S-sucks.”

 “Ah know, but it’ll be over before yer know it.”

 Al takes the opportunity to rise to his feet, rushing towards to doorway with Emily in his arms. Clever. “Five minutes and we’ll be back in front of the TV, I promise.”

 I hear a complaint from her as they head out the door, but it’s quieter this time. I think she’s realised screaming isn’t going to help.

\--------------

***8.40pm***

 I turn on the sofa as I hear footsteps, seeing Emily hurrying up to me, Al right behind her. Ock … that really was quick. “Everything alright?”

 Al gives me a wee nod and a smile as Emily pulls herself up to sit next to me.

 “Great.”

 Hopefully, it’ll be a bit easier to get her in the bath next time. Aye … I think she’ll get used to it in no time.

 Good. I hate seeing her upset ….

\--------------

***9.31pm***

 “Alan?” Emily curls up to Al more, looking up at him.

 “Hmm? What is it?”

 “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

 “Of course you can,” he smiles.

 It’s not long before we’re all ready for bed, Al about ready to doze off. I switch off the TV as Al scoops her up, carrying her out of the room. Putting the remote back onto the TV stand, I follow them up the stairs.

 “Alan?”

 “Yes?”

 “Do … we have to get up early tomorrow too?” She mumbles, head rocking against Al’s shoulder.

 “We do. Me and Eric both have work, and you’ll be at the academy again.”

 “Sucky ….”

 Al laughs softly. “It’s not so bad.”

 “Because … I’ll get smart?”

 “Yeah, that’s right. You’ll be able to learn all sorts of new things.”

 Entering the room, he keeps her close to his chest as he flops the covers back, carefully climbing into bed. As he slides down onto his pillow, wee hands curl into his nightshirt.

 “Am I comfy?” Al giggles.

 “Comfy ….”

 “Good. Goodnight, Emily.”

 “Aye, goodnight, Lass,” I say as I climb into bed myself.

 “Goodnight ….”

\-----------------

***10.17pm***

 “Hn.”

 Did Al just groan?

 My eyes pop open. “Yer alright, Al?”

 “N-not really.” With another groan, I feel him shift.

 “What’s the matter?” Are the old injuries from the attack –

 “Emily’s ribs are digging … into me.”

 “Oh.” Aye … aye, that makes sense .... Neither of them have much meat on their bones …. It’s a real shame ….

 I reach over, flicking the lamp on. “Pass her here.”

 “O-okay.” I cannae see his face properly without my glasses, but it looks like he’s wincing as he lifts her off of him. She doesn’t stir as she comes to rest on my chest.

 “Better?”

 “Hmm,” a blurry hand rubs against his chest. “A lot better.”

 “Alright. Night, babe.”

 “Goodnight.”

\-----------------

***Tuesday 25th January***

***5.46am***

 Ock … where’s – “Emily?” When I woke up a few hours ago, she’d slipped into the gap between me and Al, but she’s not ….

 Not wanting to wake Al, I slide out of bed carefully, glancing around the room. Where could she have gotten off to?

 Probably the bathroom.

 Heading out of the room, I go down – no … the bathroom door is open …. “Emily?”

 Ock, don’t start panicking. She’s probably just downstairs. I go down – not in the living room either ….

 Shite ….

 “Emily? Lass, where are yer?”

 There’s shuffling – I lean around the doorframe, looking into the hallway. Ock, thank God. “Emily, what are yer doing out here?”

 She stares up at me as I get close. “I, I woke up.”

 “Ahh, just wandering about?”

 “Y-yeah.”

 “Alright. Well, come back tae bed, aye? We don’t have tae be up yet.”

 “Okay.” She takes my hand as I hold it out to her, following me back towards the stairs.

 “Did yer sleep alright though?”

 “Yeah.”

\---------------

***8.50am***

 “Oh … man, that’s rough,” Ronnie slumps down in his seat. “Poor kid.”

 I’ve just gone over to William’s house … to explain everything ….

 “Yes … that is awful ….”

 Ronnie jolts up again, huffing. “Tha fuck is wrong wi’ people …?”

 My shoulders drop.

 That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? I’ve been asking myself the same thing for days now …. 

 “Ah … ah don’t know, mate. Ah really don’t ….”

\-------------

***Wednesday 26th January***

***8.10am***

 “Ahh!”

 What the – I jump up from the kitchen table, racing up the stairs, Al right on my heels. Emily’s shrieking, shaking, standing in front of … Olly?

 “Emily -.”

 “Sorry,” Olly says, turning to head back into his bedroom, “I think I startled her.”

 “No, it’s alright.”

 Al picks Emily up, trying to hush her as he goes back down the stairs. I follow, listening to her wailing – I cannae even make out what she’s saying, she’s crying that hard.

 Hitting the downstairs landing, we go into the living room, Al sitting down on the sofa. He sits her in his lap, arms hugging her tightly.

 “I’m sorry, sweetie, we should have told you there was someone else in the house.”

 The screaming –

 Did she just say scary? Aye, I think she did ….

 “Ock, no, Emily, he’s not scary. He’s a friend.”

 “He’s -.”

 “Cr-creepy.”

 “Aww, no, Lass, he’s not.” Crouching down in front of the sofa, I take her hand. “He’s just sad right now. That’s why he stays up in his room and hasn’t said hello.”

 She begins to quieten down, hiccupping as she looks at me. “H-he’s sad?”

 “Aye.”

 “Wh-why?”

 My stomach twists. “Because his wife passed away recently.”

 “Oh ….”

 “Mmm. He isn’t coping well right now,” Al says softly. “She meant a lot to him.”

 “D-did you know h-her too?”

 “Aye … she was my best friend ….” She looks down, free hand pulling at her PJ top. “But it’s alright. And he’ll be okay too, given time.”

 Slowly, she nods, looking up again.

 “Do you want to say hello properly now?” Al asks.

 A shake of the head. No ….

 “Why? He’s nice, really.”

 Her PJ bottoms suddenly become interesting. “M-mad.”

 “Oh, no, he’s not mad at you.”

 “Is.”

 “He’s not,” I repeat, “he felt bad for scaring yer.”

 “D-did?”

 “Aye.”

 “O-okay. T-talk.”

\--------------

 My knuckles knock against the bedroom door. “Olly, yer still up?”

 Pressing my ear to – he’s coming. A few seconds later, the door creaks open, Olly peeking through the gap. Noticing Emily, he opens it wider. “Is everything okay?”

 “H-hey,” Emily squeaks.

 … Was that a bit of a smile? “Hello.”

 “I, I’m Emily.”

 “That’s a nice name. I’m Othello … but everyone calls me Olly.”

 “Oth … Oth ….” She tries, struggling to get her mouth around it. That’s cute.  

 “Othello, aye,” I chuckle, “it’s an old-fashioned name.”

 “Old … fashioned?”

 “Aye, it was more common years ago than it is now.”

 “Oh ….”

 Olly shifts a bit in the doorway. “I’m sorry for … scaring you. I didn’t mean to.”

 “It, it’s okay.”

 “Okay.”

 Al glances at his watch. “Oh, it’s getting late. We need to get you ready.”

 “Okay. B-bye, Olly.”

 “Bye, bye.”

 She reaches up, asking to be picked up. Al scoops her up, and as he carries her back down the stairs, I follow Olly into his bedroom. He twists – “what … is it?”

 “Nothing really, just – how are yer doing?”

 I get a shrug out of him, eyes turning to the floor.

 “Aye, I know it’s rough, but -.”

 “I thought I could hear a child in the house, but I wasn’t sure.” Obviously doesn’t want to talk about it …. Alright, fair enough … I guess.

 “Aye, she’s been with us for a few days now.”

 There’s a nod … a flicker of a smile again. “It’s nice to hear a child’s laughter.”

 “Aye, it’s great.” Ock … wait, this is my chance to get him out of his room. To try, at least. “Yer can spend some time with us, if yer want?”

 The smile slips again, voice dropping down to a mumble. “I … I might ….”

 “Well it’s up tae yer. No pressure.”

 “Hm.” He swivels a wee bit, before looking back at me again. “I thought I was mistaken … but she’s … a reaper, isn’t she?”

 “Aye … she is.”

 “H … how did -?”

 “It’s a long story.”

 “I … I have time.”

 “Alright ….”

 I began explaining, his face falling with each new bit of information. The end of the story comes with a “that’s pretty much it.”

 “Oh ….”

 “Aye, but she’s starting tae settle in now. Ah think she’ll be alright.”

 “I think so too.” His lips twist into – there’s a hint of happiness, genuine happiness in his eyes. “Gr-Grell would be happy for you.”

 My stomach drops. I … I don’t want to fucking hear this, because she’s not here, she’s not …. “Sh-she would be.”

 I wish she was here ….

\-----------------

***7.27pm***

 “Emily, what do you want for dinner?” Al asks as I plonk my arse down on the sofa. Work dragged on today, it really did ….

 “I … dunno.”

 “Okay. I’ll find you something yummy.”

 “Okay.” She turns back to the TV –

 The stairs are creaking. Turning around in my seat, I see Olly appear in the doorway. He just stands there … lingering …. “Yer alright?” I ask, hoping to urge him closer.

 It works.

 With a nod, he crosses the room hastily, quietly sitting down next to me. Emily glances behind her, at him, before turning back to the TV.

 “Olly, do you want any dinner?” Al asks.

 “I’m okay.”

 “Yer sure? Yer’re not hungry?”

 “I’m okay,” he repeats.

 “Aye … alright.”

 Al dips out of the room, the distant rustling of pans coming from the kitchen. I turn back to the TV, Olly watching it silently next to me.

 But he doesn’t stay long, standing up before Al finishes dinner. Without a word, he heads towards the door.

 “Night.”

 “G-goodnight.”

 The stairs creak again as he goes up. Well … it might not be much, but it’s a start. Aye, it’s progress for sure.

\-----------------

***Tuesday 1st February***

***4.26pm***

 Slipping my glasses off, I give my eyes a rough rub. It’s been a long week ….

 Emily’s done nothing but cry and throw tantrums …. I know it’s not the Lass’s fault – she’s scared and probably struggling … but it’s been exhausting.

 The blanket trick works most of the time, but we just never know what’s going to set her off next. It seems to be over every wee thing ….

 Popping my glasses back on, I get up from my desk. Time to pick Emily up.

\---------------

***Wednesday 2nd February***

***7.24pm***

 “Lass, please stop crying,” I sigh. I … I don’t even know what the matter is. She won’t tell us.

 “What’s wrong?” Al tries again, but she just shakes her head, crying harder. “Are you just feeling sad?”

 Nodding, she starts to bawl.

 “Aww … sweetie, things are hard, I know, but it’ll be okay.” Arms slip around her back, pulling her forward into a hug. “So dry those eyes, okay? Come on, stop crying. There, that’s it. That’s better.”

 I sigh again. Al’s managing to calm her down again … but still, I wish we could do more to help her. I just … don’t know how ….

\-------------

***Friday 4th February***

***8.11pm***

 “Emily. Emily, stop it.” She’s throwing a tantrum over the smallest thing – I think even Al’s patience is wearing thin. Dropping down onto his knees in front of her, his hands touch her shoulders. “That’s enough.”

 She flinches, probably surprised by his sharp tone. The screaming turns to crying.

 “Emily, you can’t keep crying every time something doesn’t go your way. It’s not nice.”

 Her eyes lock with his, going wide. Is she –

 “Fuck you!”

 My shoulders slump as she fights her way out of his grip, running out of – it didn’t work ….

 Huffing, I –

 What?

 I look down, seeing his hand clamped around my wrist. “Al -?”

 “Leave her.”

 “But -.”

 “If we continue comforting her every time she acts out, she isn’t going to learn.”

 Aye … aye, maybe, “but she’s upset, Al.”

 “I know, but she’ll come around once she’s calmed down.”

 “Aye ….” I don’t like it, one bit … but he’s right. He is. “Alright ….”

\-------------------

***9.32pm***

 We both look up as we hear someone coming down the stairs. It’s definitely Emily. I can hear her awkward shuffling ….

 No … is Olly coming down too? I can hear –

 He appears behind her, lingering in the doorway – was he talking to her while she was upstairs? Seems that way.

 Slowly, she limps over to us, not looking us in the eye. “S-sorry.”

 “It’s -.”

 Al’s hand slaps against my mouth.

 “What are you sorry for, Emily?”

 “For … screaming.” She looks back at Olly, then turns back to her feet. So, he did talk to her. Bless him. I know how much of a struggle interacting is for him right now. “It, it’s upsetting you. I’m sorry.”

 The hand drops from in front of my mouth, Al leaning forward. “Okay. Come here.”

 She rushes towards him, being pulled up onto his lap. “Listen … I know things have been hard, and it’s okay to be upset, but screaming and throwing a tantrum isn’t going to help. It just makes us all stressed.”

 “Aye, that’s right. Shouting at us when things don’t go yerr way isn’t the way tae go.”

 “Yeah. It’s better to just talk to us.”

 “Okay. S-sorry.”

 With a smile, Al gives her a cuddle. “Apology accepted.”

\----------------

***Monday 7th February***

***3.38am***

 Fidget … fidget. I woke up to Emily moving around … and she doesn’t seem to be settling.

 “Yer alright, Lass?”

 She shifts, sitting up in the space between me and Al. “I … I can’t sleep.”

 “Why?” I grab hold of my glasses, slipping them on. “Something bothering yer?”

 “No. Just … just not tired.”

 “Ahh, alright. Yer want tae go downstairs for a bit?”

 “Please …. Bored.”

 “Alrighty. Ah think ah have an idea.” Slipping out of bed, I whisper “come on.”

 Her eyes follow me, before she puts her finger up to her mouth in a shushing motion.

 “Aye, that’s right, let Al sleep.”

 With a childish giggle, she crawls from under the covers, following me out of the room. “Wh-what’s your idea?”

 “Yer’ll see.”

 “O-okay.”

\-----------------

 “You … you can play games on it?” Emily asks, eyeing the console curiously.

 “Aye, that’s right.”

 “B-but how?”

 “Yer pop a game in,” I say, turning it on, “and the game shows up on the TV.”

 “Oooh.”

 “Aye. Cool, right?”

 “Yeah.”

 Opening the cupboard door, I start pulling out games, looking through them. “Alright … we’ve got a racing game … or ….” Ahh, Carmen likes this one. “One where yer have tae shoot paint at the other player.”

 “Th-the racing one.”

 “Alright.”

\---------------

 I smile as Emily laughs at the side of me. She’s actually pretty good at this game. Kind of regretting going easy on her now – I’ve lost three in a row.

 Ock, not again!

 The game … the fourth loss ends with a wee cheer from Emily – aww, she sounds sleepy. “Yer ready tae head back up?”

 I get a shake of the head. “O-one more.”

 “Aye, alright.”

\---------------

 “Yer enjoy that?” I ask as I lean forward, putting the controllers back in the drawer.

 “Yeah, it was fun. Can … we play again tomorrow?”

 “Of course we can.” Offering a hand, I say “let’s get yer back tae bed.”

 “Okay.”

\---------------

***6.43pm***

 “A friend?” Emily frowns up at us.

 “Aye, Ronnie has a daughter about yerr age.”

 “She … she’s coming here?”

 “That’s right, Emily. She wants to get to know you,” Al smiles down at her.  

 She goes back to watching the TV. “Okay.”

\------------------

***7.28pm***

 Carmen rushes past me in the hallway, a teddy bear clutched in her hand. Ock … aww, she’s excited to have another friend to play with. I hear chattering, Carmen introducing herself, and Al speaking –

 “Hey,” Ronnie smiles, appearing in the doorway, William right behind him.

 “Hey.”

 He passes by me, rubbing his hands together. “Ah … can’t wait for dinner. I’m starvin’.”

\--------------

***7.43pm***

 “Dinner’s ready,” Al smiles, appearing in the doorway.

 “Sweet,” Ronnie jumps up, William standing with him.

 “I shall get the children -.”

 “Na, Will, leave them. They’re havin’ fun.” Aye … they sure are. You can hear the laughter coming from upstairs.

 “Their dinner will -.”

 “It’ll be fine. Jus’ leave them for five.”

 “Yes … alright.”

 We sit around the table, Al bringing over the plates. “Ock, babe, this looks delicious.”

 “Yeah, can’t wait ta tuck in.”

 “Thank you,” Al laughs.

 Snatching up my fork, I –

 The hell? Carmen just screamed –

 William jumps up as loud wailing – what the hell is going on?

 We all rush upstairs, the crying getting even louder as I reach the top step.

 “Carmen?” William bursts through the door. A gasp – “What is going on here?”

 I catch a glimpse – her nose is bleeding ….

 “What happened?”

 “Emily hit me!”

 “What?”

 “Emily, no!” Alan darts towards her. “That’s nasty.”

 “B-but she wouldn’t let me play with teddy!”

 “I don’t care.” He grabs her shoulders. “You don’t hit. Do you understand?”

 “B-but -.”

 “No, no buts. You could have really hurt her.”

 Emily jerks away, darting from the room.

 Shite ….

 Alan follows her out … leaving me to stand awkwardly in the room. “Ah’m … sorry about that.”

 “It’s fine,” William mumbles. It’s not. The glare he’s not trying very hard to hide isn’t lost on me ….

\--------------

***7.52pm***

 Emily’s sulking in the bathroom, refusing to come out. She doesn’t want to speak to any of us. Ock … this has been an awkward ten minutes. Ronnie inches into the living room, bloody tissue in his hand. “We’re gonna head off now.”

 Aye, can’t really blame Carmen for not wanting to stay. “Alright.” I jump up from the sofa, seeing them down the hallway.

 Carmen still looks upset, clinging onto William’s shoulder. They reach the door – I should probably – “Ah, ah’m sorry … about all this.”

 Ronnie turns back, giving me a smile. “It’s alright. Things like this happen.”

 “As long as it doesn’t happen again,” William adds.

 “It won’t. Al’s made it clear it’s not okay.”

 “Yes … alright. Well, have a nice night.”

 “Aye, yer too ….”

 “Carmen, say bye ta Uncle Eric,” Ronnie says in a cheery voice, trying to lighten Carmen’s mood.

 “B-bye.”

 “Night, Lass,” I say softly.

 Closing the door, I sigh, feeling like a complete idiot. We should have kept an eye on her. With all of those fights with Jamie, she’s used to scrapping ….

 She doesn’t know any better … doesn’t know how to play well with other children – she didn’t seem that pleased when we told her Carmen was coming –

 I should have seen this coming.  

 Shite ….


End file.
